Back in the 70s and 80s, I’d often dress up nicely, go out and order dinner for one, see movies alone, take long solitary walks...
Wow, I’m really dating myself.
I had a dog named Trump that I had to take back to the shelter
He kept on Biden me
Guy 1: "If my boss doesn't take back what he said to me, I'm leaving the company." Guy 2: "What did he say?"
Guy 1: "Leave the company."
If Harry decided to take up painting now he’s stepped back from the royal family...
...he would be the artist formerly known as Prince.
DadProTip: When you back out of a parking space, be sure to say "Thiiiis takes me back" every time your kids are in the car.
What do you call 100 rabbits in a straight line that take a step back at the same time?
Receding hare line
Back in the old days you could send whatever you wanted to, to someone and they’d take you seriously, they’d believe you cause
Those were just fax!
It takes 5 minutes for me to walk to the pub and 35 minutes to walk back
The difference is staggering
Sometimes when I stop and take a look back at my daughter...
... I realize I've gone too fast.
How long does it take for 2 people dating to get back together after a fight?
Couple days...
Chinese food take away: $10. Cab fare to get it: $6. Getting back home and realising they forgot one of your containers....
Riceless.
I had to hoof it back up a few blocks to take this picture.
I just told my dad I’m going to take a shower, he says “don’t forget to put it back when you’re done.”
Why wouldn't Leia take Han back?
He kept saying Alderaan things.
Little Johnny gives the terrorists four bombs, but then changes his mind, and takes three back.
The terrorists have one.
I was hesitant to take my coat back from my girlfriend.
She was cool without it.
If your Mother doesn’t give you a gift in return today, you’re allowed to take yours back and keep it for yourself.
After all, it is Sunday, too.
Asked my dad to take a picture of my friend and I at our father/daughter, mother/son dance.. This is what I get back, he's hilarious. imgur.com/z65ySyg
If someone takes your boot and doesn't give it back, it's not a souvenir.
It's a boutonniere. My mom's boyfriend graced me with this one.
Had to take my blu-ray of San Andreas back to the shop
It was faulty
Every time I go back to my parents house and am asked to take the bins out.
Me: Where's your bin?
Dad: On holiday.
Me: No where's your wheelie bin?
Dad: I wheelie been on holiday!
Whenever I get poor service at restaurant I take the server out back and cut off the ends of their fingers.
A harsh thing to do, I know, but by the end of the night they don't have any tips.
It takes me 5 minutes to walk to the pub, but 25 minutes to walk back...
...the difference is staggering!
