The bank want to repossess my tree house. They say I haven't kept up my mortgage payments....

I'm convinced it's a mix up from when I moved branches.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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If you don't pay your exorcist....

Will you get repossessed?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DivInvstr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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I didn't realize that Santander repossessed my house...

No one expected the Spanish requisition

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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We grew up SO POOR I drank Nurse Pepper...

...she was an LPN.

We had a Don't Bother Checking account.

My first pet only had 3 legs, and it was a centipede.

Mom had one bra, and it was a lease.

For breakfast we ate Lieutenant Crunch.

My first spoon was monogrammed though ("1/2 TSP").

We were too poor to even say "awesome." We had to say "awefew."

We sat at the campfire and made S'Lesses.

My pillow only had one side.

Repossession was 9/10 of the law.

Five kids had to share one shoelace, and instead of toenails we grew toe staples.

Our scotch tape was scots-irish.

(I'm allowed)

My first shower came with sound effects and a lightshow.

One year Santa had to bring stockings.

The next year he filled them with nooses.

I did have a jumprope with a rattle on the end. And fangs on the other.

Other kids hunted eggs for Easter but we just died.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_YOUR_BLOOMERS
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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I had a priest perform an exorcism for my house, but I never paid the bill....

It’s been repossessed

πŸ‘︎ 236
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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What happened when the girl didn’t pay her exorcist

Her soul got repossessed

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vamplestat666
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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"Old McDonald had a farm...."

Sang the happy repossession man.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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A friend of mine didn't pay for his daughter's exorcism

So she was repossessed

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshually
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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I had to get a loan to pay for an exorcism.

They said if I didn’t pay it back on time I’d get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harlienx900
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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You know what happens if you don’t pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jalfredproofrock
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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Being an exorcist is a great job.

If the customers don't pay their bill, you can go back and repossess their house.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GlassDeviant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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When my neighbor couldn’t pay for her exorcism...

Her house was repossessed...

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tigger3370
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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I forgot to pay the priest's bill for my daughter's exorcism..

She got repossessed

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luckydragon88
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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I got a letter saying I had to pay an overdue exorcist bill.

They said if I didn't, my house would be repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2016
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After finally getting rid of the ghost that was haunting my car, he came back.

I guess you could say my cars been repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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I’ve got to take out a loan for an exorcism.

If I don’t pay it back, I’m going to get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 143
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GingerWookie95
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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An exorcist went bankrupt.

His house was repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 553
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atomic1fire
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2017
🚨︎ report
I fell behind on payments for my exorcist...

I hope my house doesn't get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_perfect_sonnet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the envelope,

it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered. He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the ends.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PewPewWizard2000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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Where does a ghost go after it's been exorcised from a home?

It joins the IRS and begins repossessing houses

(My first attempt at a Dad joke)

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dakotathehuman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Roommate got me today.

We were talking about exorcists. He told me you shouldn't miss payments when dealing with exorcists.

"Why?"

"They'll repossess your house."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neanderthal42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2014
🚨︎ report
What happened to the man who didn't pay his exorcism bill?

His house was repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninjeff
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2011
🚨︎ report
Studying on campus when a friend read me this text from his dad

Q: What happens when a man forgets to pay the exorcist?

A: He gets repossessed!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2014
🚨︎ report
If you don't pay your exorcist....

...you get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
If you don't pay your exorcist, does that mean you get repossessed?
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/undeadbobblehead
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
🚨︎ report
If you don't pay your exorcist back in time,

do you get repossessed?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itslikeleia
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn't pay the exorcist.

So he repossessed my house.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shareinagroove
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when you don't pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mojo884ever
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when you don’t pay the priest for your exorcism?

You get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeFindMeGilbert
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
If you don't pay your exorcist

Do you get repossessed?

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcheckpointeh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens if don’t pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmriceusa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
So I forgot to pay my exorcist...

I got repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 733
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackvishs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when you don’t pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanconverse
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Always pay your exorcist...

You might get repossessed!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tunayafish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you don't pay the Priest after he performs an exorcism?

You get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slartibartfastBB
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when someone doesn't pay for their exorcism?

They get repossessed

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CasperWithAJ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
If you don't pay for your exorcism...

Do you get repossessed?

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Synergy_synner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Pay Your Exorcist

Hear about the girl who didn't pay her exorcist. Well she got repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeanisBatman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2016
🚨︎ report
What did the exorcist do when he didn't get paid?

He had the guy repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phil8248
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2013
🚨︎ report
What happens when you don't pay for your exorcist?

You get repossessed

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shinokiba-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
🚨︎ report

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