The bank want to repossess my tree house. They say I haven't kept up my mortgage payments....

I'm convinced it's a mix up from when I moved branches.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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We grew up SO POOR I drank Nurse Pepper...

...she was an LPN.

We had a Don't Bother Checking account.

My first pet only had 3 legs, and it was a centipede.

Mom had one bra, and it was a lease.

For breakfast we ate Lieutenant Crunch.

My first spoon was monogrammed though ("1/2 TSP").

We were too poor to even say "awesome." We had to say "awefew."

We sat at the campfire and made S'Lesses.

My pillow only had one side.

Repossession was 9/10 of the law.

Five kids had to share one shoelace, and instead of toenails we grew toe staples.

Our scotch tape was scots-irish.

(I'm allowed)

My first shower came with sound effects and a lightshow.

One year Santa had to bring stockings.

The next year he filled them with nooses.

I did have a jumprope with a rattle on the end. And fangs on the other.

Other kids hunted eggs for Easter but we just died.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_YOUR_BLOOMERS
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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I didn't realize that Santander repossessed my house...

No one expected the Spanish requisition

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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If you don't pay your exorcist....

Will you get repossessed?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DivInvstr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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I had a priest perform an exorcism for my house, but I never paid the bill....

It’s been repossessed

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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"Old McDonald had a farm...."

Sang the happy repossession man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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What happened when the girl didn’t pay her exorcist

Her soul got repossessed

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vamplestat666
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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A friend of mine didn't pay for his daughter's exorcism

So she was repossessed

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshually
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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I had to get a loan to pay for an exorcism.

They said if I didn’t pay it back on time I’d get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harlienx900
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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You know what happens if you don’t pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 192
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jalfredproofrock
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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Being an exorcist is a great job.

If the customers don't pay their bill, you can go back and repossess their house.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GlassDeviant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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When my neighbor couldn’t pay for her exorcism...

Her house was repossessed...

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tigger3370
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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I forgot to pay the priest's bill for my daughter's exorcism..

She got repossessed

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luckydragon88
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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I got a letter saying I had to pay an overdue exorcist bill.

They said if I didn't, my house would be repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2016
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After finally getting rid of the ghost that was haunting my car, he came back.

I guess you could say my cars been repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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I’ve got to take out a loan for an exorcism.

If I don’t pay it back, I’m going to get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 143
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GingerWookie95
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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An exorcist went bankrupt.

His house was repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 550
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atomic1fire
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2017
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I fell behind on payments for my exorcist...

I hope my house doesn't get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_perfect_sonnet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
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No matter how much you push the envelope,

it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered. He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the ends.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PewPewWizard2000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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I can't believe I fell for this one

My dad's joke this morning: A man asked a priest to exorcise the demons in him. So the priest came and did the exorcism. When it came time to pay the priest for services rendered, the man couldn't pay, so the priest had the man reposessed. groan

Edit: spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/starshyne83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2013
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Where does a ghost go after it's been exorcised from a home?

It joins the IRS and begins repossessing houses

(My first attempt at a Dad joke)

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dakotathehuman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2017
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What happened to the man who didn't pay his exorcism bill?

His house was repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninjeff
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2011
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Studying on campus when a friend read me this text from his dad

Q: What happens when a man forgets to pay the exorcist?

A: He gets repossessed!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2014
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Roommate got me today.

We were talking about exorcists. He told me you shouldn't miss payments when dealing with exorcists.

"Why?"

"They'll repossess your house."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neanderthal42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2014
🚨︎ report
If you don't pay your exorcist....

...you get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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If you don't pay your exorcist, does that mean you get repossessed?
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/undeadbobblehead
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
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If you don't pay your exorcist back in time,

do you get repossessed?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itslikeleia
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn't pay the exorcist.

So he repossessed my house.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shareinagroove
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when you don't pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mojo884ever
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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What happens when you don’t pay the priest for your exorcism?

You get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeFindMeGilbert
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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If you don't pay your exorcist

Do you get repossessed?

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcheckpointeh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens if don’t pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmriceusa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
So I forgot to pay my exorcist...

I got repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 742
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackvishs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when you don’t pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanconverse
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Always pay your exorcist...

You might get repossessed!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tunayafish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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What happens when you don't pay the Priest after he performs an exorcism?

You get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slartibartfastBB
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when someone doesn't pay for their exorcism?

They get repossessed

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CasperWithAJ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
If you don't pay for your exorcism...

Do you get repossessed?

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Synergy_synner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Pay Your Exorcist

Hear about the girl who didn't pay her exorcist. Well she got repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeanisBatman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2016
🚨︎ report
What did the exorcist do when he didn't get paid?

He had the guy repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phil8248
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2013
🚨︎ report
What happens when you don't pay for your exorcist?

You get repossessed

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shinokiba-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
🚨︎ report

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