My dad's been suffering from seizures...

So far, they have taken his car, his house and his boat.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2021
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My grandma had a terrible seizure this morning....

10kg of Cocaine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
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What do you call a cow with seizures

Beef jerky

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tjeters
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2020
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Abuot to have a seizure
πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nikram007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2019
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Caesar's seizures
πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BanAllPineapples
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2019
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My girlfriend left me after my iguana was diagnosed with a seizure disorder.

She said she couldn’t date a man with a reptile dysfunction

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jayytown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 15 2019
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What do you call a cow having a seizure?

A protein shake

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 29 2019
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Where do people who have seizures in the middle of a "Peek-A-Boo" game go?

They go to the ICU.

I'll show myself out.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 75
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ShowingMyselfOut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2015
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If the black guy from House had a seizure from flashing lights, how would House diagnose him?

Epps-ilepsy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SquirrellyOtter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2017
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What do you call an attractive person having a seizure?

Fit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The-Dark-Sage17
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2017
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Can someone think of a good pun about search & seizures?

I want to think of one for a research paper on the subject but Im unable to think of one.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/suna123
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2014
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When I had my first seizure...

I was so scared, I was shaking.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/patricktoba
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2016
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A jean-ius brain.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bewondered
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2021
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What do you call a person with epilepsy laying on a bed of lettuce?

A seizure salad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 219
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Corvette-Ronnie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02 2021
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Why did the epileptic come to the USA?

To have the right to be secure against unreasonable seizure.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Water4real
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16 2021
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Why did Julius Caesar, after having an epileptic fit, during the time he was a hostage of pirates, immediately need a dictionary?

As Caesar's seizure ceased at sea, he said "I'm sleepy" and grabbed some zzz's.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/moudre_plus_de_rouge
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2021
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Apparently, Santa has epilepsy....

He seizures when you’re sleeping.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_fury_2000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2020
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I'm going to open a pizza joint where they shake a box a bit before they hand it to you.

I'll call it Little Seizures.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 443
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2020
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It’s a little known fact that Gaius Julius Caesar suffered from epileptic fits.

Also known as a Julius Seizure.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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My neighbor is an epileptic midget who really loves pizza.

Seems like everyday he’s having little seizures.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
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Why do you always know ask on the fridge before opening it?

Just in case there is a salad dressing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ankitk2909
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 23 2020
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What do you call an epileptic emperor?

Julius seizure

Edit: Oh and thanks a bunch for the silver homie

πŸ‘οΈŽ 204
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LimblessOctopus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2019
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What is an epileptic's favourite appetiser?

Seizure salad

I'm going to hell for this

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/forrestree
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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What do you call a Roman with epilepsy?

Julius seizure

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pancakeannihilator
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 14 2020
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My Doctor has me on a diet to help epilepic attacks...

Mainly spasmati rice and seizure salads...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 07 2020
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What did they call the first emperor of Rome who had epilepsy?

Julius Seizure

πŸ‘οΈŽ 75
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2019
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What's the name of the only Roman Emperor to die due to to Epilepsy?

Julius Seizure.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Overlevendeftw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2019
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How do you cut a Pizza?

With little Caesars (Seezors)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Trubino19
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2018
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What does an epileptic on a diet eat?

A seizure salad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gua_lao_wai
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2019
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What do you call a series of short strokes induced by consuming pizza?

Little Seizures

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Im_a_dum_bum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2019
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Oh Doctor.

"hey doc! Look, that guy is having a seizure!" "Aah.... He should prolly shake it off."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dingdongdang5543
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2019
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What's the only food they serve at raves?

Seizure Salad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dockie27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2019
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What's an epileptic's least favorite kind of salad?

Seizure salad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brains-With-Benefits
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2019
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If you have epilepsy, don't fall into a bowl of lettuce.

You'd become a seizure salad.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MineMine132
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2018
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I bought a head of epileptic lettuce

Had to make "seizure" salad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jawknee_homicide
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2017
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What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?

A seizure salad.

(It was suggested to post this here from r/jokes)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Isitfortytwo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2017
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Witnessed this beauty in line at a catering table...

There was a spread of meats and salads for dinner, and above the table was a light that was flickering - giving off a strobe effect.

To which the person behind me casually remarks under his breath; β€œHmm, don’t mind me a bit of seizure salad”.

I thought it was great. No one else seemed to appreciate it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/freeebbo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08 2018
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What do you call a cow that has seizures?

Beef jerky

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dantheman1963
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2018
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What do you get when a cow has a seizure?

A protein shake

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 29 2019
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I had pizza that made me shake a bit.

It was from Little Seizures.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ItsKilLikeMine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2019
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What do you call a lettuce with epilepsy

A seizure salad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thearabest2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2019
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what do you call an epileptic emperor?

juilus seizure

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DeliverDaLiver
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 17 2019
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What's an epileptic's most despised appetizer?

Seizure salad.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/marimochan96
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2016
🚨︎ report
What's the only food they serve at raves?

Seizure Salad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dockie27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2019
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