I woke up with semen on my face..

I don’t know what came over me

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dannn88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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You can’t spell advertisement without semen between the tits.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/y-a-s-h-a-s
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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Traces of semen
πŸ‘︎ 576
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maildejoaquin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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What’s long and hard and full of semen?

A submarine.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Princessofthepeen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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Ew, There's Whale Semen All Over My Screen!
πŸ‘︎ 126
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IndieGengar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2015
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What do you say when a pile of Cetacean semen thanks you?

You're whale cum.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
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Per volume semen costs more than blood because sex cells.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingGorilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2014
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He wouldn't be my dad without the jokes

http://imgur.com/UiODJRb

He posted a photo on his Facebook of the semen-based recipe book and made some really bad semen puns and so did all of his friends.

Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolsasha
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2013
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I used to date a girl who was lactose intolerant.

We broke up because she couldn’t stomach my cheesy jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Timallne
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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You know how only the strongest sperm gets to fertilise the egg?

I guess you could call it survival of the fetus.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RespectfulRat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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It takes guts to be an organ donor
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HenriBoneu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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My kid asked me, β€œDad, what are condoms used for?”

I said, β€œUsually to avoid answering questions like these.”

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s not that hard to get into the Naval Forces.

I mean, we were all semen at one point.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iforgotmylogins
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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I'm... I'm not even mad dad.

Me: I'm home

Dad: Hi home, I'm dad.

Me: Wow, way to pull out the dad jokes.

Dad: I always pull out the dad jokes. One time I didn't and that's how I got you.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneSevenTwoNine_
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2014
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How do u spell that again

You cant spell advertisements without the semen between the tits

A lot of folks seem to need help with this so ------- adver ti semen ts

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NameViolation666
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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What's the difference between an argument with seamen and a popular female musician?

One's a sailors' tiff, the other's a Taylor Swift.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Torley_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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My son's joining the Navy

He'll be a semen for the second time in his life

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrman2307
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2015
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So this just happened...

So this just happened...

Company owner: So, my buddy who is a pastor told me that the other day when he mowed his lawn he saw his gay neighbor standing outside jacking off into his (neighbor's) pool.

Me: That's ok, they're semen!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nightshadeOkla
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2015
🚨︎ report
You cant spell advertisements without...

The semen in between the tits

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MElvishimselvis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2017
🚨︎ report

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