The guy I suspect is a cannibal in the office always brings in something questionable.
Today was white chick in chili.
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
"But Holmes, how did you know the suspect had swallowed the evidence?"
"Alimentary my dear Watson"
How do the fish police question suspects?
They use the good carp, bad carp method.
Why is a minnow always the first suspect for a crime?
Because he's always a little fishy
I suspect my friend has an unhealthy addiction to knitting quilts.
I have seen all the patterns.
The court released the suspect on the grounds of being on an armor show on the night of the murder ...
it was an ironclad alibi!
Why did the cops mix slabs of sirloin into their suspect's marijuana cigarette?
They were staking out the joint.
The murder in the botanical garden had a very obvious suspect
Turns out the evidence was planted
Our prime suspect is brassica rapa pekinensis
I suspect my wife has a hidden agenda.
We haven't seen her day planner in a few days.
I suspect my maid is stealing money from my drawer, but she won’t admit to it.
I just want her to come clean.
Why are platypus always criminal suspects?
Because they fit the bill.
kinda suspect they killed the old chef to make that joke
What do you call a swat team of alligators going to a suspect's house?
My doctor suspects I'm paranoid.
He didn't actually say it, but I know he thinks it.
My boss is making me dig through a stack of hay bare-handed to look for anything that shouldn’t be there. I suspect he dropped his wedding ring while having an affair with the new girl he hired in the pile and now he is desperate to hide the evidence from his wife who might be on to him.
But I’m just grasping at straws here.
Poirot arranged the murder suspects in a row in an old Roman town.
It was a Hercule line em up.
Cop: Did the suspect have a birthmark?
Mark: He’s alive. So I have to say Yes.
My cousin got a job at the police department sketching pictures of suspects.
Apparently he’s a con artist.
I suspect the 12 disciples were a bunch of clowns, because they all fit in car.
Act2:1. ... they were in one Accord ...
Cop: I think the suspects are at large.
Starbucks Barista: Huh?
Cop: The suspects are at Venti.
Barista: Oh my God!
I found what I suspect is a long-running dad joke in a drawer at my work. It's a quarter pounder.
imgur.com/go2fngq
Hear about the suspect who fled into a cemetary to escape the police?
That was a grave mistake.
I am starting to suspect that people think I’m ugly
Anytime there is a group picture, they always hand me the camera.
Police recently apprehended prime suspects.
One was released on a technicality, but two and three are still in custody.
What did the cop molecule say to the suspect molecule?
I ran into my house and screamed, "Hey kids, great news! I got a new job at the police sketching pictures of suspects!"
Cop 1: Did the suspect have a birthmark?
Cop named Mark: He is alive, so I’m going to say —Yes.
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