Wife: Suppose you hit a jackpot of a Million dollars in a lottery and the same day, someone kidnaps me and demands ransom of a million , what will you do?
Husband: I doubt if I can hit two jackpots in one day.
I suppose Bart is really a simp's son
Hmm well yes I suppose so
Back to not going to the gym I suppose.
There's a big space at the local mall where they're going to build a Starbucks. I suppose that space is now officially
The fact that everything we see in monitors is made up of only red, green and blue is amazing. I suppose you could say...
Do you suppose Amish pyromaniacs practice barn razing?
When Amish build barns it's called "barn raising". But raze is also a term to destroy, ruin or flatten.
I was suppose to clean out the fish tank today...
But I have no idea where they drove off to
I suppose a flush can beat a full house if...
Suppose I made a quick decision to see the doctor about some itchy, dry skin...
...would that be a rash decision?
At the museum, I turned to the attendant and said, “I suppose this horrible thing is what you call Modern Art, right!”
Attendant: Sir, that’s a mirror.
More of a dad "prank" i suppose...
When I was around 5 or 6 years old my dad was a police officer, and of course had a moustache. I remember one day he was in the bathroom for a little while with the door open standing by the sink, and called my sisters and I in there. As we approached the door, he sneezed this HUGE sneeze into a tissue. Pulled the tissue away, and his moustache was gone. Layed out perfectly on the tissue. We were so amazed that a sneeze could take his moustache right off of his face. We talked about it all day. Then we learned what shaving was
Why do you suppose the lucky rabbits foot is legendary?
That's where they find them.
The President has decided to become a professional wrestler. So I suppose the only question is...
can you smell what Barack is cooking?
I suppose this is my first official dad joke.
When my wife and I were expecting our son, everyone always wanted to know what we were having. We were waiting until birth to find out the gender so instead of explaining our decision to wait, I always told them "a baby." If they asked me what I wanted my response was "human."
As a child, I was supposed to walk the plank
We couldn't afford a dog.
My date was supposed meet me at the gym but they didn't show up.
That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.
My psychiatrist says I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge.
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, all the other guests are supposed to pretend as if nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
Does anyone know why you are supposed to capitalize On A Bad Situation?
I thought Tiger Woods was supposed to be good at driving...
Apparently the COVID vaccine causes constipation
When I got mine the other day they told me I had to wait 3 weeks to get number 2.
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
I'm not supposed to eat anything too suite.
If we're not supposed to eat at night...
Why do they put a light in a fridge?
Eyelashes are supposed to keep things from getting into your eyes, but when I do have something in my eye it's almost always an eyelash...
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
My wife asked me if I thought the kids were spoiled
I said "no, I think they're supposed to smell like that."
I just released my own fragrance.
Nobody in the car seemed to like it.
The Guillotine was supposed to be ahead of its time
It had cutting edge technology
I was supposed to park on the east side of the lot...
...but I occidentally parked on the west
I have no idea what to get now...am I supposed to get both?
TIL the Pentagon was supposed to be the Octagon.
But the contractor kept cutting corners.
Are you supposed to pull over for a funeral procession?
Of corpse, please come to a dead stop.
A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"
What's the fastest way to move cattle from one field to another?
You know how when you find a Genie's lamp, you're supposed to rub it?
Does that mean when you find a Frog's lamp, you Ribbit?
How are you supposed to keep Canadian bacon from curling?
You just need to take away their little brooms!
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.
Joke from my great uncle: You know that movie "Constipation" that was supposed to come out this year?
Aww man. Did you hear that Johnson and Johnson messed up the their vaccine?
Well at least they took a stab at it.
I saw a man giving away dead batteries the other day...
I suppose you could say they were free of charge.
I’m driving through England, and am supposed to stay in Greenwich for a day or two.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
You know your supposed to knock on the refrigerator door before you open it
Cuz there might be a salad dressing
A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
Tried some viagra in the bedroom with my wife but it got stuck in my throat
I've had a stiff neck for a week
I was supposed to go to a salt n pepa concert next week
Unfortunately, due to the coronavirus they had to push it
The swordfish has no natural predators to fear...
....except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren't gonna work out.
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
I am driving through England on a road trip, and I’m supposed to be in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
I was supposed to go to a salt an pepa concert last week
Unfortunately, due to lockdown, they had to push it
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