I suppose this fits here
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︎ Mar 24 2021
Wife: Suppose you hit a jackpot of a Million dollars in a lottery and the same day, someone kidnaps me and demands ransom of a million , what will you do?
Husband: I doubt if I can hit two jackpots in one day.
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︎ Apr 20 2021
I suppose Bart is really a simp's son
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︎ Apr 18 2020
Hmm well yes I suppose so
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︎ Jul 08 2018
Back to not going to the gym I suppose.
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︎ Apr 14 2020
There's a big space at the local mall where they're going to build a Starbucks. I suppose that space is now officially
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︎ Mar 10 2020
The fact that everything we see in monitors is made up of only red, green and blue is amazing. I suppose you could say...
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︎ Jan 08 2020
Do you suppose Amish pyromaniacs practice barn razing?
When Amish build barns it's called "barn raising". But raze is also a term to destroy, ruin or flatten.
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︎ May 30 2019
I was suppose to clean out the fish tank today...
But I have no idea where they drove off to
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︎ Sep 29 2019
I suppose a flush can beat a full house if...
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︎ Sep 19 2019
I suppose I have.
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︎ Dec 12 2013
Suppose I made a quick decision to see the doctor about some itchy, dry skin...
...would that be a rash decision?
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︎ Mar 03 2016
At the museum, I turned to the attendant and said, โI suppose this horrible thing is what you call Modern Art, right!โ
Attendant: Sir, thatโs a mirror.
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︎ Sep 01 2018
More of a dad "prank" i suppose...
When I was around 5 or 6 years old my dad was a police officer, and of course had a moustache. I remember one day he was in the bathroom for a little while with the door open standing by the sink, and called my sisters and I in there. As we approached the door, he sneezed this HUGE sneeze into a tissue. Pulled the tissue away, and his moustache was gone. Layed out perfectly on the tissue. We were so amazed that a sneeze could take his moustache right off of his face. We talked about it all day. Then we learned what shaving was
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︎ Dec 08 2013
Why do you suppose the lucky rabbits foot is legendary?
That's where they find them.
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︎ Jan 26 2018
The President has decided to become a professional wrestler. So I suppose the only question is...
can you smell what Barack is cooking?
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︎ Aug 11 2015
I suppose this is my first official dad joke.
When my wife and I were expecting our son, everyone always wanted to know what we were having. We were waiting until birth to find out the gender so instead of explaining our decision to wait, I always told them "a baby." If they asked me what I wanted my response was "human."
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︎ Jan 24 2014
As a child, I was supposed to walk the plank
We couldn't afford a dog.
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︎ May 21 2021
My date was supposed meet me at the gym but they didn't show up.
That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.
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︎ Feb 08 2021
My psychiatrist says I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge.
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︎ Apr 25 2021
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, all the other guests are supposed to pretend as if nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Does anyone know why you are supposed to capitalize On A Bad Situation?
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︎ Feb 25 2021
I thought Tiger Woods was supposed to be good at driving...
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Apparently the COVID vaccine causes constipation
When I got mine the other day they told me I had to wait 3 weeks to get number 2.
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︎ Mar 27 2021
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my sonโs train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
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︎ Mar 28 2021
I'm not supposed to eat anything too suite.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
If we're not supposed to eat at night...
Why do they put a light in a fridge?
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︎ Feb 06 2021
Get it ?
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︎ Mar 04 2021
Eyelashes are supposed to keep things from getting into your eyes, but when I do have something in my eye it's almost always an eyelash...
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︎ Nov 24 2020
New Vans
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︎ May 18 2021
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
This pun might fall flat
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︎ Feb 10 2021
My wife asked me if I thought the kids were spoiled
I said "no, I think they're supposed to smell like that."
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︎ May 03 2021
I just released my own fragrance.
Nobody in the car seemed to like it.
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︎ Apr 21 2021
The Guillotine was supposed to be ahead of its time
It had cutting edge technology
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︎ Nov 15 2020
I was supposed to park on the east side of the lot...
...but I occidentally parked on the west
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︎ Oct 25 2020
I have no idea what to get now...am I supposed to get both?
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︎ Sep 24 2020
TIL the Pentagon was supposed to be the Octagon.
But the contractor kept cutting corners.
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︎ Feb 08 2020
nice outfit
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︎ Apr 25 2021
Are you supposed to pull over for a funeral procession?
Of corpse, please come to a dead stop.
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︎ Nov 26 2020
A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"
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︎ Mar 06 2021
What's the fastest way to move cattle from one field to another?
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︎ May 16 2021
You know how when you find a Genie's lamp, you're supposed to rub it?
Does that mean when you find a Frog's lamp, you Ribbit?
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︎ Dec 12 2020
How are you supposed to keep Canadian bacon from curling?
You just need to take away their little brooms!
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︎ Nov 29 2020
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Joke from my great uncle: You know that movie "Constipation" that was supposed to come out this year?
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︎ Nov 30 2020
Aww man. Did you hear that Johnson and Johnson messed up the their vaccine?
Well at least they took a stab at it.
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︎ Apr 01 2021
I saw a man giving away dead batteries the other day...
I suppose you could say they were free of charge.
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︎ May 24 2021
Iโm driving through England, and am supposed to stay in Greenwich for a day or two.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
You know your supposed to knock on the refrigerator door before you open it
Cuz there might be a salad dressing
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︎ Nov 14 2020
A sales guy tried to sell me on a new preparation to wash my hair with, which supposedly contains the excrements of some very special rainforest animal or whatever.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Tried some viagra in the bedroom with my wife but it got stuck in my throat
I've had a stiff neck for a week
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︎ Apr 18 2021
I was supposed to go to a salt n pepa concert next week
Unfortunately, due to the coronavirus they had to push it
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︎ Jul 27 2020
The swordfish has no natural predators to fear...
....except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.
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︎ May 21 2021
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren't gonna work out.
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︎ Mar 22 2021
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
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︎ Mar 24 2021
I am driving through England on a road trip, and Iโm supposed to be in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
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︎ Aug 25 2020
I was supposed to go to a salt an pepa concert last week
Unfortunately, due to lockdown, they had to push it
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︎ Sep 04 2020
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