They called me a βradβ student.
A sandwich
Why couldn't the toaster go surfing?
Because there was only micro-waves
Across the board
Brother: Oh, "Life of Pi", I heard that was depressing.
Dad: Probably, how much "pi" can one guy eat?
Must be a cooking show
Cause there's too many Links
Why can't you surf microwaves?? Cause they are too small
So gnar bra
He didn't want to get carried away.
Heβs very passionate about current events.
That's because it took too many rips.
He was up in arms the entire time.
Yeah, I surf on executive boards.
Start the conversation... You will sea the point, it's kraken me up XD
Surf the web.
All they do is surf the web.
surf and turf
BONUS: What do you call a sick roman emperor?
...
Julius Sneezer
So there were these two high schoolers, both madly in love. they were like the most well known couple around the school. so a couple months go by after they've began dating and they both see a flier in the hallway. it talks about the up coming school dance which is taking place next week. so naturally, the guy asks the girl to come with him. she says yes and the planing begins. he gets home that night and surfs the entire web for a relatively cheap limo company with still have decent amenities. after ordering that, he heads off to the local tailor and gets a suit made for in his girlfriends favourite colour, blue. then the week passes and he preparing to go and pick her up, so he picks up the flowers he bought her earlier that day and heads out to the now parked limo. he gets in and orders the driver to her house. he gets there and gives her the flowers. they go out for dinner at a very fancy place, him paying for everything. they both finally get to the school hall and head in to see all their friends. they have a wonderful night, dancing, having photos taken, they both really just enjoyed themselves. they even got elected prom king and queen! so the night is coming to an end and they both decide to sit down and have a rest. the girls feeling a bit thirsty so the guy heads over to the refreshments table to get her a drink. it's pretty quite there as in this joke, there isnt a punchline. ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
Im sitting in my bedroom just surfing while my wife give my girls a shower in the master bathroom.
So shower's over and Avery was whining that she was cold. After a long day of swimming, that whining turned into a temper tantrum. IM COLD!! IM REALLY COLD!!! over and over.
Calmly, I say, "Ave", she sobs "what", I say "IM REALLY DADDY, ITS NICE TO MEET YOU"
BOOM!! full blown screams and cries. Mission accomplished.
Channel surf!
Courtesy of my 6 y/o
He was always surfing the web
So it's my cousin's 21st and he does surf life saving. So he had a rowing oar set up for everyone to sign. Aaaand then dad sees it.
Dad: Wow, thats so inspiring.
Me: Why is it inspβ¦
Dad: It's Oar!-Inspiring!
Uncle (Without hesitation): That joke was Oarβ¦some!
both look around to see who's laughing
(edit; can't punctuate)
