Before the clock strikes midnight on december 31st be sure to lift your left leg
That way you will start off the new year on the right foot
Here’s a little early access to a pun I made. I’m not sure if this joke has been said before but I hope not. I love making up puns
Two atoms walk into a bar, one says to the other “Dang, I left my electrons in the car.” The other replies, “Are you sure?”
“Can you help me with the curtains? I need to make sure the carpet matches the drapes.”
And THAT is a sexual in-your-window!
When visiting Poland make sure you don't look faded.
You might run into the polish police.
I only like two deodorants, Sure and Right Guard
Feel free to disagree, that’s just my two scents.
My mother is much smaller than me. I'm not sure how tall she is...
...But I know she's the minimum height.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
Saw this on r/unexpected, thought it was funny so here we are :) I’ll be sure to add the link to the OG post in the comments incase you wanna see it
At our restaurant, we make sure to buy our pickled cabbage from a variety of vendors.
We've discovered the value of kraut sourcing.
If i could, I’d make sure everyone had a dolphin.
Because everybody needs a porpoise to their life
I’m not sure if it’s true or false that he is the Prime Minister of Canada, but that his name is Justin
I went to my doctor today and told him I was having problems with my hearing. He asked, “Can you describe the symptoms?” I replied, "Sure..."
“They’re yellow, Homer’s fat, and Marge has blue hair.”
Aro sure he can see where he’s going?
I sure got a kick out of seeing the comedian perform.
I would have preferred a handshake, though.
With the holidays near, to set a festive atmosphere at your table, be sure you have a shiny chrome plate to hold your condiment sauce. Why?
Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
I am sure you've heard of Murphy's Law, but have you heard of Cole's Law?
It is thinnly sliced cabbage.
If Hermes was the messenger god, the he sure was lucky not to have met the god of pain and old age...
I'm not sure why pirates are so interested in this...
An atom called the cops to report he had an electron stolen. The cop asked, "Are you sure?"
And the atom replied, "I'm positive!"
I'm thinking about buying a new mattress, but I'm not sure.
I think I'll sleep on it.
My kid wasn't sure if he wanted eggnog or not.
You might say he's eggnostic.
Dwayne Johnson is a really nice guy, so he always makes sure he's as close to the wall as possible...
He hates putting anyone between The Rock and a hard place.
My dad (67) just sent this to me. It's literally a dad joke. Some of us might not get it though I'm sure.
What does the Pink Panther say when he knocked over an ant hill?
Dead ant... dead ant... dead ant dead ant dead ant... dead ant dead ant....
Those Duke boys sure do like to jump their car over things...
... General Lee speaking.
I was so sure my new hire was Spider-Man
Because his resume said he was a web designer.
Found it on facebook. Nor sure if it was posted here before
Did you hear about the queen who wasn’t sure how long she had ruled for?
An electrician asks if I could hand him his step ladder. I said sure no problem.
He said “Thanks! I never knew my real ladder.”
I used to be so confused about everything but now I'm not sure.
I don't know what decisions the Supreme Court will make in 2021 but one thing is for sure...
Not sure if I should be proud of this
You know, I'm sure wherever my Dad is right now, he's looking down on me..
He's not dead by the way, just very condescending.
My dad went to the store to buy milk, i said “sure, old man” and he said “im not good at comebacks”
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not
I go back and forth on them
Dad, are you sure this is the way to London?
after the dam failed, the engineer thought he'd lost his job for sure
but at the performance review he was consoled by his boss, "it's all just water under the bridge"
As a short guy, I was completely sure there was nothing to be done about my height. I went to the doctor, turns out I had scoliosis.
Joe sure is patient when it comes to waiting for the results of the election
All I hear is Joe Biden his time till the results are finalized!
They sure do know how to promote lol
would provide energy for sure
My Doctor told me that I may have a curvature of my upper back but he was not so sure.
They sure do know how to promote lol
Whenever my son has to make a picture for homework, I always make sure he signs his name last
Because Andrew is a lot shorter than Andrawing
Not sure if this board works out.
Make sure that your left leg is up before the clock hits midnight tomorrow.
That way you start 2021 on the right foot.
Before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st be sure to lift your left leg.
That way you will start the new year off on the right foot.
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