After 6 cardiac arrests the doctor convinced me to go for surgery!
I really needed that change of heart!
Did you hear about the mummy that just woke up and is still convinced he’s ruler of Egypt? When told ‘that’s impossible’ he flew into a rage, ran away, and jumped in a river.
People say he’s in da Nile
I am convinced that my friend helped someone steal one of my gloves.
He definitely had a hand in it.
My friend convinced me to visit Karl Marx’s grave.
Turns out it’s just a communist plot.
Doctor Doctor, I'm convinced I'm a rubber band.
Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch over there and tell me all about it.
I've had a chiropractor phobia extending from a childhood trauma. Wife finally convinced me to get my back checked out and treated. Wife afterwards: See, that wasn't too bad
My wife bought me this hideous leather jacket, and somehow convinced me to wear it.
I guess I’m easily suede.
The police were not convinced that my neighbor had hidden plastic explosives in his basement, so I told them...
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small flashlight
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
Damn i'm now convinced Putin poisoned the dude
I'm convinced that nobody can really eat with chopsticks...
You need a mouth for that.
I'm fully convinced that Stalin's grave...
...is just a Communist plot.
I've finally convinced my energy suppliers that they're crazy...
My friends are convinced that lowercase vowels cannot turn into uppercase.
They just don't see i to I.
I'm convinced I had Covid as a child...
My mom tells me I was hospitalized with pneumonia after handling a bat.
Frankly, I'm amazed all baseball players don't have it.
I am convinced that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection.
She keeps denying it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
My wife convinced me to have reversed roles during sex last time...
That was a pain in the ass.
This contractor knocked on my door today and convinced me to invest in wine storage
He was a stellar cellar seller
I convinced my wife to name our newborn daughter Ella-May O.
Just finished watching Frozen 2 with my kids. I am convinced a Dad came up with the plot.
Because the moral of the story is >!"Everything will work out in the end... once you deal with the Dam problem!"!<
My son convinced my sisters to sneak into Canada and start a garden.
It's his Alien Aunt Farm.
My uncle is convinced that his wife prevents flakey scalp in the hair
I hate wearing leather but someone convinced me to do it
After years of doubt I'm now convinced my wife is having an affair...
We've moved 250 miles north and we've still got the same window cleaner!
Trump is convinced that pigeons are part of the Deep State...
He overheard one saying, "coup, coup".
A hypnotist convinced me that I was the door by which you enter a building.
Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82...
My friends were convinced that boats stay docked due to the anchor. I knew the real answer, but I was alone so I decided not to argue.
Someone once convinced me that gravity wasn't real.
I won't fall for it again.
I convinced my wife to go to the Xmas party as Sherlock and Watson...
She didn't think it was very Christmassy until I sang that "I'll be Holmes for Christmas..."
I like soybeans so much, I convinced my wife to name our daughter Etta.
That way I could be married to edamame.
I’m convinced that highlighters are the pens of the future.
My wife thinks that one day, I’ll be a brilliant father, but I’m not convinced...
And neither are our children...
Im convinced that ive got a foot disease
There's not a gout in my mind.
My dad recently convinced my school to ban scissors.
I wont be cutting class anytime soon.
My silly I.T dad is convinced he's a comedic genius
So my sister brought her computer over for my dad to fix. From my room, some 30 minutes later, i just heard him sniggering, and eventually balling his eyes out with laughter. He summons me over, and says through teary eyes "Look what i changed her computer name to!" So, look i did, expecting something silly. Sure enough, he had called it "Banana". I just shook my head and walked off while he cackled maniacally in his chair.
My dad used to have me convinced he could stop the rain by snapping his fingers it was not until I was a little older that I realized
He would snap his fingers when we went under over passes....
Thought this belonged here.
Even though he extremely skeptical, the hunchback’s wife finally convinced him to see a surgeon to straighten his spine. When the operation was done, he came home and told his wife:
My friend Rhee died, but I've convinced myself that he's just gone far away. I don't like to talk about it, so when someone asks me I just say...
Finally convinced my wife to let me hang a giant clock on the wall.
I'm not convinced you're French... can you taste fine wine?
My friends convinced me to get a haircut.
I didn't like it at first but it's really starting to grow on me.
I'm new to Scotch drinking, but I don't like ones with peat. Buddy convinced me to try one
Yeah, re-peat: my mistake
My wife convinced me to have reversed roles during sex last time...
That was a pain in the ass.
My wife convinced me to wear a hideous leather jacket that she got for me.
I guess I’m easily suede.
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