After 6 cardiac arrests the doctor convinced me to go for surgery!

I really needed that change of heart!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dantr1x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mummy that just woke up and is still convinced he’s ruler of Egypt? When told β€˜that’s impossible’ he flew into a rage, ran away, and jumped in a river.

People say he’s in da Nile

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I am convinced that my friend helped someone steal one of my gloves.

He definitely had a hand in it.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend convinced me to visit Karl Marx’s grave.

Turns out it’s just a communist plot.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor Doctor, I'm convinced I'm a rubber band.

Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch over there and tell me all about it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SolgaleoGamePlays
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I've had a chiropractor phobia extending from a childhood trauma. Wife finally convinced me to get my back checked out and treated. Wife afterwards: See, that wasn't too bad

Me: it was an adjustment

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sparxican
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife bought me this hideous leather jacket, and somehow convinced me to wear it.

I guess I’m easily suede.

πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The police were not convinced that my neighbor had hidden plastic explosives in his basement, so I told them...

"C4 yourself".

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theboredpastor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small flashlight

I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EnigmaCA
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Damn i'm now convinced Putin poisoned the dude
πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Demand_Haste_CM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm convinced that nobody can really eat with chopsticks...

You need a mouth for that.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ATShields934
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm fully convinced that Stalin's grave...

...is just a Communist plot.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I've finally convinced my energy suppliers that they're crazy...

#gaslighting

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mish106
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My friends are convinced that lowercase vowels cannot turn into uppercase.

They just don't see i to I.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm convinced I had Covid as a child...

My mom tells me I was hospitalized with pneumonia after handling a bat.

Frankly, I'm amazed all baseball players don't have it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shmavalanche
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I am convinced that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection.

She keeps denying it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 391
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...

He took part.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife convinced me to have reversed roles during sex last time...

That was a pain in the ass.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
This contractor knocked on my door today and convinced me to invest in wine storage

He was a stellar cellar seller

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadlifememes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I convinced my wife to name our newborn daughter Ella-May O.

LMAO

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheElDoon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Just finished watching Frozen 2 with my kids. I am convinced a Dad came up with the plot.

Because the moral of the story is >!"Everything will work out in the end... once you deal with the Dam problem!"!<

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LitterDuck
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My son convinced my sisters to sneak into Canada and start a garden.

It's his Alien Aunt Farm.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tsaot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My uncle is convinced that his wife prevents flakey scalp in the hair

She's Aunty Dan Druff

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jrobbio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate wearing leather but someone convinced me to do it

I'm easily suede.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
After years of doubt I'm now convinced my wife is having an affair...

We've moved 250 miles north and we've still got the same window cleaner!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Trump is convinced that pigeons are part of the Deep State...

He overheard one saying, "coup, coup".

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dangerous_Calm
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A hypnotist convinced me that I was the door by which you enter a building.

I was entranced.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82...

...I'm easily lead.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
My friends were convinced that boats stay docked due to the anchor. I knew the real answer, but I was alone so I decided not to argue.

It was the pier pressure

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CountryHeart11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone once convinced me that gravity wasn't real.

I won't fall for it again.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ridley_Himself
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I convinced my wife to go to the Xmas party as Sherlock and Watson...

She didn't think it was very Christmassy until I sang that "I'll be Holmes for Christmas..."

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wmcduff
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I like soybeans so much, I convinced my wife to name our daughter Etta.

That way I could be married to edamame.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m convinced that highlighters are the pens of the future.

Mark my words.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife thinks that one day, I’ll be a brilliant father, but I’m not convinced...

And neither are our children...

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Im convinced that ive got a foot disease

There's not a gout in my mind.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFluxed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad recently convinced my school to ban scissors.

I wont be cutting class anytime soon.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/74CK
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
My silly I.T dad is convinced he's a comedic genius

So my sister brought her computer over for my dad to fix. From my room, some 30 minutes later, i just heard him sniggering, and eventually balling his eyes out with laughter. He summons me over, and says through teary eyes "Look what i changed her computer name to!" So, look i did, expecting something silly. Sure enough, he had called it "Banana". I just shook my head and walked off while he cackled maniacally in his chair.

πŸ‘︎ 398
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WerdsWerth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad used to have me convinced he could stop the rain by snapping his fingers it was not until I was a little older that I realized

He would snap his fingers when we went under over passes.... Thought this belonged here.

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kogo_Shuko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Even though he extremely skeptical, the hunchback’s wife finally convinced him to see a surgeon to straighten his spine. When the operation was done, he came home and told his wife:

"I stand corrected."

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tomjim04
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend Rhee died, but I've convinced myself that he's just gone far away. I don't like to talk about it, so when someone asks me I just say...

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Finally convinced my wife to let me hang a giant clock on the wall.

It was about time.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jazwch01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm not convinced you're French... can you taste fine wine?

Corsican!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dapolish
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2017
🚨︎ report
My friends convinced me to get a haircut.

I didn't like it at first but it's really starting to grow on me.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saddrake
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2016
🚨︎ report
I'm new to Scotch drinking, but I don't like ones with peat. Buddy convinced me to try one

Yeah, re-peat: my mistake

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2016
🚨︎ report
My wife convinced me to have reversed roles during sex last time...

That was a pain in the ass.

πŸ‘︎ 554
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/agronero1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife convinced me to wear a hideous leather jacket that she got for me.

I guess I’m easily suede.

πŸ‘︎ 167
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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