26 Hilarious Suffering Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

My dad's been suffering from seizures...

So far, they have taken his car, his house and his boat.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Feb 06 2021

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My doctor texted me that I was suffering from low magnesium

"0mg", I replied

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👤︎ u/professorf

📅︎ Jan 04 2021

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A chameleon went to the doctor and said he was having trouble changing his colors. The doctor did some tests and called the chameleon. He informed the chameleon that unfortunately he was suffering from...

a-reptile-disfunction.

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👤︎ u/Murdock431

📅︎ Jan 18 2021

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I heard all the hair stylists are suffering from depression due to unemployment.

They just want to like, dye.

(OC)

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👤︎ u/Lazy-Potential

📅︎ May 21 2020

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When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.

It's called Parking Son's disease.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.

👍︎ 13k

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👤︎ u/unlucky_genius

📅︎ Mar 12 2018

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Did you know? When painters aren't suffering they often play their triangle

That's because when you remove pain from painting all that remains is a *ting

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👤︎ u/BurningCandleSample

📅︎ Apr 20 2020

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Did you hear the Rock's career is suffering?

I guess it's really going down the Dwayne.

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👤︎ u/pedahzur

📅︎ Nov 02 2019

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There was a man suffering from chronic deppression

He took a crack at drugs.

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👤︎ u/throwawaytrol7134

📅︎ Aug 01 2019

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What breakfast pastry willfully causes more pain and suffering than a donut?

A crueller

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👤︎ u/yahtzee44444

📅︎ Nov 01 2019

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why does god allow my suffering

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👤︎ u/Amp3rsand_

📅︎ Jan 23 2019

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Only a person suffering from alopecia areata will know

how smooth and relaxing it is to wipe the bum

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👤︎ u/NoctisHero

📅︎ Jun 11 2019

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He'll cause you pain and suffering

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👤︎ u/paper-machete56

📅︎ Apr 16 2019

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My step mother who is suffering from insomnia got really mad at me the other day when I jokingly said to her that you're like my

stay-up mother.

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👤︎ u/pabesh17

📅︎ Jul 02 2019

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An ancient Greek playwright was suffering writer’s block. Kept scribbling down lines and then tearing up the pages.

Picking up the torn pages, his friend asked, “Why Euripides?”

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👤︎ u/pirate-fool

📅︎ Jan 11 2019

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What kind of tea do you give to people who are suffering?

Solidari-tea

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👤︎ u/deepBlueCheese

📅︎ Aug 04 2018

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Im donating to people suffering because of seating

its called a Chair-ity

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👤︎ u/calevic54

📅︎ Aug 25 2018

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Studies show that 3 out of 10 men are suffering from erectile dysfunction.

Does that mean that the remaining 7 are enjoying it?

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Jan 18 2018

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I introduced my friend suffering from ringworm to my dad

To which he replied,"Well, he seems to be a fun guy!"

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👤︎ u/ValiantWaffle777

📅︎ Jan 24 2019

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LPT: If you are suffering from insomnia, listen to some smooth jazz right before bedtime.

It has a lot of mellow tonin’.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ May 25 2018

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My dad, type 2 diabetic, after 11 months of suffering chemo/radiation treatment for pancreatic cancer, 5 months after he was told the surgery failed and it was terminal. Brother reads off the back of a Sweet'N Low packet "...been determined to cause cancer to laboratory animals" Dad snaps back

"Bullshit! I've been using that stuff for years and...(looks at 13" scar across his stomach from whipple procedure to remove tumors, looks back at family for effect) oh... shit..."

Never lost his great attitude towards life, family, and people in general. Always quick with a joke/dad joke until the end.

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👤︎ u/Dude0311

📅︎ Jul 20 2017

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John Travolta is suffering from a fever - it's rheumatic.

Automatic. Systematic. Hydromatic.

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👤︎ u/Manderley1

📅︎ Jan 13 2018

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T&G- Suffering tutandgroan.com/suffering…

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👤︎ u/tutandgroan

📅︎ Jul 18 2016

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Co-worker was suffering through slow download speeds. He just had to comment on that though...

Him: "ugh, These kilobytes are killing me"

Me: "Would you say they're really taking a byte out of you?" (And proceed to laugh at my own joke, which he didn't even find funny!!)

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👤︎ u/G2geo94

📅︎ Mar 08 2017

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My wife was suffering from menstrual cramps, and in frustration cried out "I'm going to get a hysterectomy!"

I replied - "Shouldn't you get a hersterectomy?"

She groaned, but then agreed that I should post this here...

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👤︎ u/EngineerBill

📅︎ Jul 23 2015

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A (very slightly) scientific dad-joke I just used on my long-suffering GF.

So, my GF was watching True Blood. I had donated platelets today, which I do every month. The following exchange ensued:

Me: "I wonder do vampires like platelets?"

GF: "They probably consider it one of their main food groups. Like we would view amino acids."

Me: "You're a meano!" (she has to endure lot of shite like this."

GF: "Well you're acidic!"

Me: "What are you basing this on?"

GF: groan

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👤︎ u/UltimateRealist

📅︎ Jun 23 2014

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When I reach home, my youngest son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it while making car sounds. His cute antics always make me forget that he is suffering from a rare disease.

It is called Parking Son's disease.

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/Quint_Cordewener

📅︎ Jun 07 2019

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