How can he stoop so low?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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My girlfriend broke up with me so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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I tried to tell a joke about towels...

But people don’t like my dry humor.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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I can't believe my wife left me for a midget.

How could she stoop so low.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogitoX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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I heard a dwarf got pickpocketed. I was shocked and appalled.

How could anyone stoop so low.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reteperator
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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I Prefer Not To Trim My Toenails.

It's not because I think it's beneath me.

It's not because I wouldn't stoop that low.

It's because I consider it to be a waste of my talons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jagdpanzer_magill
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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I thought about making dad jokes about star wars...

But I don't want to stoop Solo.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatsmoothfuck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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A dwarf was pickpocketed recently.

I dont know how someone could stoop so low.

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adrous
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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An investigation has been launched after a midget was pickpocketed earlier today.

Police are wondering how someone could stoop so low.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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I heard Peter Dinklage got his pocket picked last week.

I mean, who would stoop so low?

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
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Did you hear about the guy who's been pick-pocketing midgets?

I can't believe someone would stoop so low!

πŸ‘︎ 216
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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A limbo champion walked into a bar.

He was disqualified.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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What do you call a child on his front steps, thinking about his subconscious?

A Stoop Id Kid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joshmeisterino
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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I've just pickpocketed a dwarf

Can't believe I stooped so low

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!

Who would stoop so low?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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I had to walk 50 miles to get to my home. There, I saw a welcoming sight.

It was the mat on my front stoop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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I saw a midget get pickpocketed today.

I still can't believe someone could stoop so low.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daleecio
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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Seems there's been a lot of coverage about a serial pick-pocketer that targets little people

How could anyone stoop so low?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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I think I have bad posture

But that's just a hunch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aleksander3702
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
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A lumberjack died in the woods...

There once was a lumberjack who was known as the hardest working lumberjack in the woods. Old Doolittle Dawort Deigh had a reputation and the complete respect of his coworkers for nearly 60 years. As we all know, tough lumberjacks can’t have sissy names. So many years ago, as was the tradition in the woods, old Doolittle Dawort Deigh was saddled with a nickname and had become known as simply Do Dah.

One tragic afternoon, old Do Dah was working his trade when a tree happened to fall the wrong way. Poor old Do Dah was squished flatter than a lumberjack flapjack. His coworkers, distraught at the thought of breaking the news of Do Dah’s death to his elderly wife, decided that perhaps if bad news was presented in a somewhat good way, it might soften the blow.

So that afternoon, old Do Dah’s fellow lumberjacks gathered on the stoop of the now widowed Mrs. Deigh and hesitantly knocked on the door. It took a few minutes for the old widow to make it across the room to the door. Finally as the door creaked open, the chorus of lumberjacks launched into a rousing rendition of

β™ͺ Guess who died in the woods today β™« Do Dah, Do Dah. β™« Guess who died in the woods today Old Do Dah Deigh. ♬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/philo-sopher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
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What do you call an arrogant criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Krosenoise
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
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My 3 year old is ready to be a dad

The other day my son, who is almost three, walks into the kitchen where I was cooking dinner. He looked up at the cabinet that has the cookies and such and pointed like he wanted something. I stoop down to pick him up and ask:

Me: "What's up, dude?" Son: (gesturing upwards like a Roman senator) "The ceiling!"

yep, yep it is kid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spiegelprime
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
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I'd bend over backwards to play limbo.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whelks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
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You hear about the midget that got pickpocketed?

I never thought someone could stoop that low.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Childflayer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2016
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I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf.

I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ROTFLandmines
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2017
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Walking next to my Mom yesterday...

My brother and I aren't super tall by any means (both 6'1") but we tower over my 5" 5' mother.

So last night, after going to my other brother's choir concert, we were walking back to my car. My brother turns to me and says "hey /u/Devchar96, let's pretend we're as short as Mom." He then crouch walked.

My response? "Nah, I won't stoop to that level."

I'm so proud of myself guys. I feel like I'm finally qualified for Dad-hood!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Devchar96
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2016
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Trust issues

Our son came running into the house, and breathlessly asked, "when are we going to replace those stairs?"
Husband asks him, "why would we replace the stairs?"
Meanwhile, I'm trying to consider all the possible ways a kid could manage to damage a concrete stoop.
Son says, "I don't trust them, they're always up to something."
Without missing a beat, husband responds with, "they've been supporting you your entire life, I think they've earned your trust by now."

Better luck next time, young Grasshopper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/outsitting
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2016
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Dad Giveaway

Had a dad-spotting while walking through the empty hall at school a few minutes ago. A small object rolled out of a door further down the hall followed closely by a stooped over middle-aged professor chasing after it. He nabbed it up just as I was passing by and looked up at me to say, "I've got to get out of here. I'm losing my marbles."

He then laughed to himself and quickly ducked back into the classroom.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ladybadcrumble
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2013
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My dad got me right when I woke up. . .

Dad: Did you hear about the guy who mugged a midget?

Me: No. (Groan incoming)

Dad: Well, he really stooped low!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theoden17
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2015
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Just heard about a dwarf who was pickpocketed

How could anyone stoop so low?

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lumikue
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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Just heard about a dwarf who was pickpocketed

How could anyone stoop so low?

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ralph3576
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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A midget got mugged

How can anyone stoop so low?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/profedon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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