Next thing you know he'll be sticking em' up
So I made my daughter a birthday cake and decided to put the candles sticking out the sides.
A Pirate walks into a bar with a captain's wheel sticking out of his pants......
The bartender asks - "Hey isn't that uncomfortable?"
Pirate says "Arrrrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
I once saw a vegan sticking two pieces of paper together with hummus.
I asked him, 'why are you doing that?'
He replied, 'hummus is a vegan staple'.
Last night, I tried sticking a torch to my scalp.
It made me feel very light- headed.
I'm sticking with/to my guns. It makes sense either way
My toddler keeps sticking that baby booger sucker in her nose...
She's got great aspirations.
No, really...
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
I'm sticking my neck out on this one
Came with the house my brother bought. The thing sticking out is his tuning fork
Sticking out like a sore thumb
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns!
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out if your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
Wife: You got thrown out of hobby lobby for sticking your testicles in the glitter?
Yeah, I know. Pretty nuts?
I protested doctors sticking needles in my body
My mate told me that putting superglue on my rifle was a bad idea, but I'm sticking to my guns
I’ve been having trouble with my darts sticking to the board lately...
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender says, “What’s with the steering wheel? That can’t be very comfortable.”
The pirate replies, “Aye, it’s driving me nuts.”
“Doctor, I think I have a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bum!”
Doctor: I’m sorry to tell you that it is just the tip of the iceberg.
A woman goes to the doctors with a piece of lettuce sticking out the top of her underwear
The doctor says, "that looks nasty" the woman replies "that's just the tip of the iceberg"
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
More and more people are sticking cheese on the tips of their fingers. Jane, who puts Camembert on her index finger, is a casein point.
“Doc, I think I have a serious issue. A piece of lettuce is sticking out of my butt!”
Doc: I’m afraid that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
My dad was watching hockey was yelling at the tv because the ref didn't call a penalty for high sticking
I told him to chill and he said "I AM CHILL" so I yelled back "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DAD".. That's right.. I dad joked my dad
A man walks into a bar with a blade sticking out his eye
The bartender says "you're looking sharp"
My wife was having issues putting a sticky strip on the wall; she swore up and down that it wasn’t sticking because the wall was wet.
I brought over a towel to help her out, but when i got there it was clearly drywall.
A patient was in a hospital with a carrot poking out of his nose, and brocolli sticking out of his ear.
The doctor took one look and said, "Well, I can tell that you're not eating right."
Did you hear about the mailman who was taking the mail, coating it in paté, and sticking it in his underpants?
...
It was undie livered.
Guy sits down in an exam room with a carrot sticking out of his ear...
The doctor says, "Well, first of all you're not eating right."
Wife said breakfast wasn't sticking with her.
Wife: I'm hungry. Those waffles aren't sticking with me.
Me: Should have used more syrup. That makes everything sticky.
Which one of your servants is always sticking to the roof of your mansion?
One day I'll achieve my life's ambition of sticking an Irish cat onto an ice cream
It'll be my Magnum O'Puss.
My SO and I were just discussing how our friends named their new dog Mariota or Yoda for short and he said, "I can't see that name sticking for too long...it sounds forced." Ba dum tssss.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheeling sticking out of his crotch. The bartender says, “Hey man, what’s with the wheel?”
The pirate says back, “Arrr! it’s drivin’ me nuts!”
"Doctor there is a strawberry sticking out of my bum"
Doctor: "I have some cream for that."
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