what did the school staff do when a student wore a shirt with a picture of a robber?

they bandit

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spycrabpuppet123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is a queen's staff called a septer?

Because everyone in the empire works.. 'cept her.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Epic_Mustache
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
After the exodus through the Red Sea, Moses's staff could no longer perform miracles, and still he kept it beside him the rest of his life...

...he just couldn't part with it.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an important message to the staff of a building materials company?

An announcement

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Had to have blood taken today. Staff tried to put needle in but didn't go into the blood vessel.

So since it didn't go in the vein, it was in vain

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to the Coronavirus, there is a huge shortage of maternity ward staff.

It’s a midwife crisis.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Last summer, I worked on a party boat for the assistants to the staff of Terry Crews

I was on the Crews' crew's crew cruise crew.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/exmachinalibertas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to covid my chiropractor sent most of his staff home.

His office is run by a skeleton crew.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ASPYDERMONKEE
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I just got over a bad staff infection.

Now I have a temporary employee infection.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/throwaway2032015
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff cross the road?

They were just following the chicken!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I started a conversation with one of the staff at the aviary

"Bred any good rooks lately?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wthreye
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A pie factory has exploded injuring 4 members of staff

The blast was heard 3.146 miles away!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My coworker keeps yelling about the tray of leftovers in the staff fridge stinking up the break room...

I finally snapped and told him to just put a lid on it

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/knoxollo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the director say to the staff when he jokingly said cut?

JK Rowling

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungontree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Its bloody cold today just had to use my Company’s staff discount card to scrape the ice off my windscreen.

Still only managed to get 10% off....

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMBiSH
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Staff Meeting imgur.com/VsupLvQ
πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2016
🚨︎ report
The staff at my local strip club figured out a great way to make decisions.

They take a poll.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Dets
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Staff meeting
πŸ‘︎ 173
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NitroNihon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2015
🚨︎ report
I guess when you think about it, every meeting at a cane factory is a staff meeting.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I died but the ER staff used defibrillation upon me...

I was shocked!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the staff of a British fashion and lifestyle magazine waiting for a warm beverage?

Elle GB tea queue

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmdc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I was at the bowling alley when all the staff walked out

They all went on strike and the manager went spare.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizzix
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the restaurant staff call the handicapped chef?

Meals on wheels.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
The maintenance staff at my apartment complex left me popcorn to say that they completed my service request while I was out. imgur.com/GAiToyX
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/piccit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2017
🚨︎ report
I have to host an early morning staff meeting tomorrow, does anyone have any good openers for an early morning meeting to break the ice?
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Famoustitles
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Got a laugh out of the museum staff

I was visiting the museum with a friend, when he jokingly asked the staff what they feed the mounted animals.

"I don't know what it is they eat," I said, "but they definitely eat a lot of it. You can tell, because they're stuffed."

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the doctor start yelling at his scheduling staff?

He was out of patience.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/newthingsforus
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
🚨︎ report
The all staff email as dad joke

A co-worker sent an all staff email today about a planning meeting. It said, "On Sunday it is the Ides of March. But what we really need is ideas for March. Ha ha ha." Never have so many people been dadjoked in one go.

πŸ‘︎ 152
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mddc52
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2015
🚨︎ report
What do bowling alley staff do when they want a pay rise?

strike!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sir_waffling
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
🚨︎ report
A mime recently fired all of his restaurant staff

Now he's miming his own business

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thoren66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Newsweek magazine laid off some staff recently

They called Time on their careers

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hnd123
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I understand knives and spears, but staffs seem pointless.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the president have his staff making dough?

The information he was giving them was knead to know.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2017
🚨︎ report
The production staff of Car Talk at NPR
  • Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs

  • Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov

  • Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide

  • Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore

  • Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe

  • Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood

  • Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass

  • Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout

  • Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder

  • Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing

  • Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors

  • Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz

  • Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff

  • Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer

  • Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket

  • Marine Biologist___________________________Frieda Wales

  • Father-in-Law Liaison_______________________Royal Payne Diaz

  • Mother-in-Law Liaison______________________Stella Payne Diaz

  • Official Spokesperson_______________________Howie Vasive

  • Restroom Attendants_______________________Trudy Door & Donna Hall

  • Russian Chauffeur__________________________Picov Andropov

  • Scout Leader______________________________Lawson D. Woods

  • Shop Foreman_____________________________Luke Bizzy

  • Staff Intuitionist____________________________Ivan Inkling

  • Used Car Salesman_________________________Alexis Itznot

Full list can be found here: http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IcedPyro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2016
🚨︎ report
I was waiting in line for my tickets to the LA Phil last night when the box office staff asked "is everyone in this line here for Will Call? This is the line for Will Call."

To which I replied, "No, I'm here for Beethoven. Who the heck is Will Call?" Worth it for the few 'extra air out of the nose' laughs I got from the three people around me.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/numba1dmxfan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2017
🚨︎ report
A family of ducks moves into a hotel lobby. What did the hotel staff decide to call them?

The Ritz Quackers

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chucksense
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
🚨︎ report
First campaign? Staff will have him on a short leash. mediaite.com/online/dog-a…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rpconnolly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2014
🚨︎ report
Staff meeting

http://i.imgur.com/Z4ilgz2.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CitizenPremier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2014
🚨︎ report
Dept. director during mandatory staff meeting

Happened during a reading of an extensive legal clause, containing several 'or this ..., or that ...' statements. The entire department is listening intently, ensuring nothing is missed.

When the speaker quietly chuckles about the 'or' multitude after finally reaching the end of the clause, the director speaks up: "Wow, that sentence should be mined!"

Groans around the room.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D-Dad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
🚨︎ report
Due to the lockdown, there is a huge shortage of maternity ward staff in my town.

It’s a mid-wife crisis.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.