A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks...

He found his way to the men's department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.

"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.

"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed. "No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience. "No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Β‘Eso sΓ­ que es!"

"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.

πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyberentomology
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".

I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.

The physical pain on his face was priceless.

πŸ‘︎ 160
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megaman_90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
It must be tough working in the shipping and receiving department of a zoo.

No one ever addresses the elephant in the room.

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigtuna_burger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were shopping for clothes at the department store when she asked, "Do you prefer boxers or briefs?"

I replied, "Depends."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mano_Trueno
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A nominee for director of the math department at my school was caught having an affair with her student...

They had to denominator.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrindoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw a bunch of guys in the local department store, shouting β€œf#ck”, β€œb#ll&cks”, β€œw#nker”!

Then realised I was in the menswear section.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnolife
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
*Dad walking past a mirror in a department store

"Hey, I know you!"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lil_suge
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a department of the United Nations which tries to improve the quality of food in restaurants.

UNEEDCHEF

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently every police department has a food division

However, they only take cases involving a salt and buttery.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?

LED Zeppelin.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombie-narwhals
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do children and department stores have in common?

They're both preparing for Christmas ... in September.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and we were amazed by the quality of the produce. We spoke with the Department Manager and offered to buy all of their Romaine

if he'd lettuce

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpalupagus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the most common disease in HR departments?

Staff infections.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
When a department store santa loses his job does he get the sack?

Do human cannonballs get fired?

Do pirates get told to sling their hook's?

Do prostitutes get laid off?

Do trapeze artists get let go?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the worst part of working for the department of unemployment?

When you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

πŸ‘︎ 221
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zero_ben
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A status report from the department of justice
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mehssie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The police department made all homicide detectives stay under quarantine for two weeks.

>!They had coroner-virus.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Blind guy walks into a department store and starts swinging his guide dog in circles over his head.

A shop keeper asks him what he is doing and he replies "Taking a look around."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boop108
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What department do Optical Technicians work for?

Eye-T

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maximusheadroom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The IT department is like a bra...

IT supports your most important assets.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nimja_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know the US Mint is the richest Department in the US?

They make a lot of money.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4llFather
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
There was a survey in the cosmetics department...

...they were asking people to write a couple of their favorite smells on a scrap of paper and put it in a box.

I didn't really have a strong opinion, but I did put my two scents in.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hero_of_Thyme81
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I was accused of taking soap making ingredients from the department store...

They're all lyes!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that BeyoncΓ© bought a department store?

It’s called Jay-Z Penny

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingofthediamond
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If I ran a large department store, I would publish a huge catalogue of Christmas products and call it the "All I want for Christmas" issue.

And put Mariah Carey on the cover

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iplaymeinreallife
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
The Geology Department at my school rocks
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainRipp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.

It made a good ad visor.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Walking past the maternity department at Target, I said to my wife...

"It's great that they have clothes for both expecting parents"

https://i.imgur.com/n9YPBrD.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orthogonius
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
At the casino, what department did the vampire work in?

The Count Room

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My cousin got a job at the police department sketching pictures of suspects.

Apparently he’s a con artist.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I was heading to the department store to pick up some gardening supplies and my wife asked me to pick up one of those tangle free hoses.

I guess she isn’t into the kinky stuff.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheapojoe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear what happened to that Department of Defense employee?

He's pentagone

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/graafslaaf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My first date with an Emergency department nurse was...

A casual tea

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnydarko-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Battery department?
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/acadiel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Slavic governments accounting department?

Czechs and balances.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/antropologo_2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Pun Request: Facilities Department needs a team name for an office wide Bubble Hockey Team

Any ideas on bringing Office Management and Hockey Terms together for a good team name?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoJohnTrumbal
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I couldn’t believe the highway department called my dad a thief.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the farmer who won an award from the U.S. Department of Agriculture?

He was outstanding in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorScherzando
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Walking through IKEA's lighting department...

My Stepdaughter says: "This place is lit!"

So proud.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/level32
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My French roommate doesn't know anything about the department store John Lewis

She's most likely used to Jean Louis

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/felixsaurus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Department Head in my office: The new printer is making funny noises.

Me (Tech Support): Did you laugh?

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LimpN
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I work in the appliance department at a large retailer and we were working on a truck delivery.

On one of our pallettes was a 12" sub that was meant for the car electronics department.

I look to my co-workers and say "Maybe we should refrigerate it.".

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does the Gotham Police Department refuse to eat another Greek sandwich?

Because it's the gyro Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThanHowWhy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
🚨︎ report
So I Went To A Department Store To Find A Screwdriver

I asked the guy working there where I could find one. The guy working there then called someone. Moments later a driver who seemed as if he had a screw loose showed up. The guy, "You wanted a screwdriver right? Here you go."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FearlessTheFallen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the favorite sauce in a shipping department for a calendar company?

Hollandaise Sauce!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
After seeing my girlfriend in the shoe department...

"So, this is where you do your sole searching."

πŸ‘︎ 426
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Harasoluka
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2015
🚨︎ report
A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks.

He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.

"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.

"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed.

"No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.

"No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Eso sΓ­ que es!"

"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alec935
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a department of United Nations which tries to improve the quality of food in restaurants.

UNEEDCHEF

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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