Do human cannonballs get fired?
Do pirates get told to sling their hook's?
Do prostitutes get laid off?
Do trapeze artists get let go?
>!They had coroner-virus.
A shop keeper asks him what he is doing and he replies "Taking a look around."
The cops having nothing to go on.
When you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
They're all lyes!
...they were asking people to write a couple of their favorite smells on a scrap of paper and put it in a box.
I didn't really have a strong opinion, but I did put my two scents in.
It’s called Jay-Z Penny
IT supports your most important assets.
And put Mariah Carey on the cover
They make a lot of money.
It made a good ad visor.
"It's great that they have clothes for both expecting parents"
The Count Room
Apparently he’s a con artist.
I guess she isn’t into the kinky stuff.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
He was outstanding in his field.
My Stepdaughter says: "This place is lit!"
She's most likely used to Jean Louis
A casual tea
Czechs and balances.
He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.
"Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl.
"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl.
"No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.
"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl.
"No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.
"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed.
"No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.
"No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.
As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Eso sí que es!"
"Why did... keep reading on reddit ➡
Any ideas on bringing Office Management and Hockey Terms together for a good team name?
On one of our pallettes was a 12" sub that was meant for the car electronics department.
I look to my co-workers and say "Maybe we should refrigerate it.".
I asked the guy working there where I could find one. The guy working there then called someone. Moments later a driver who seemed as if he had a screw loose showed up. The guy, "You wanted a screwdriver right? Here you go."
Me (Tech Support): Did you laugh?
call the hotline.
She said, "Speaking...?"
I said, "English."
Because it's the gyro Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now.
Me on the phone talking to insurance company: "finance department helped us"
Son  after phone call: "daddy what's the finance department?"
Me: "they helped us with money to buy the car"
Ridley "oh I thought they go find ants"
... I've been out done by a six year old...
The grocery bags they have say: "We like to get carried away with food."
"So, this is where you do your sole searching."
A joint operation.
If you pee something, pay something.
Me: What's your name otherwise?
My friends tell me that it suits me well.
...where everybody counts.
Is something wrong? You seamstressed.
After all, they're sub-optimal.
The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.
The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"
Again, the clerk doesn't answer him.
The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"
And the clerk just seems to ignore him.
Finally, the guy storms off in anger.
The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "Why wouldn't you answer that guy's question?"
The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"
and there he was in all his glory: Elrond Swanson
It's going to be called, "Lorde and Taylor Swift". Seeking investors.
Clarence Thomas, in response, said an appeal would be "a fruitless exercise"
"Hey can I borrow your date gun?"
"Why? Are you feeling lonely?"
Maybe Soy Milk is just plain milk introducing it self in Spanish. Yo soy milk
Today in my classical saxophone class one of the upperclassmen wanted to plan a get together for all of the saxophone majors.
Him: What do your evenings look like?
More than 30 disapproving college students: Groan
Came to make my own joke, but saw that I was beaten to the punch
A colleague from the .net department came into our department (java) and said, i must have forgotten my coffee here, he picked it up and on his way back to his department a colleague told him that he accidentally took his fish with him