Shot on iPhone
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmanMegha2909
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend was shot clean through his skull but survived.

I can’t imagine what was going through his mind at the time.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Man shot 200 times with upholstery gun.

Surgeons revealed he is now 'fully recovered'.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bob9109
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I shot a man with a paintball gun...

....just to watch him dye.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Will the Coronavirus shot come with a wedge of lime?
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nick_vandernick
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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A shot in the dark
πŸ‘︎ 606
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a new show on BBC where heroin junkies can determine via experts, how much money they've shot up over the years.

It's called,Cash in the Addict.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossco1874
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Letting you all know that I've volunteered for the Russian vaccine trials held here in Melbourne. I received my first shot at 9.00 am this morning

It’s completely safe with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveя, and im currently feelshΞΊΞΉ Ο‡oρoshό я Ρ‡ΡƒΠ²ΡΡ‚Π²ΡƒΡŽ сСбя Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ странно ΠΈ я Π΄ΡƒΠΌΠ°ΡŽ, Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ Π²Ρ‹Ρ‚Π°Ρ‰ΠΈΠ» ослиныС ΡƒΡˆΠΈ.

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
took a screen shot on youtube when I found this pun
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rose-Fairy-Fun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Took a shot at making this pendant
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Memeoverlord73
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I shot an elephant in my pajamas.

And later a rhinoceros in the buff.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tatticky
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Two cowboys are lost in the desert when one sees a tree draped in bacon. He yells β€œit’s a bacon tree” then runs to it and is shot up with bullets

It wasn’t a bacon tree it was a Ham Bush

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I shot 3 under on 18 holes today but I'm still pretty disappointed.

My performance was really subpar.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beaster05
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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A group of pastors were being shot at

Luckily nun of them died

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtensionCover8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I just witnessed a guy getting shot with a paintball gun.

He dyed on impact.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I shot an oar out of a bow, and missed.

It was an air row

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Runeald_Waslib
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Shots
πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/creepinonthenet13
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Florida man shot over 200 times with an upholstery gun...

...Doctors say he's now fully recovered

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Warlach
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard if you try to put a gun in your mouth and shot, it's not necessarily to make you die

This fact is just mind-blowing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deoxys14
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One cowboy sees a tree that’s draped in bacon. β€œA bacon tree ! We’re saved!” He says. He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets. /r/Jokes/comments/i7puax/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brainstormer77
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend and I were playing golf. He hit the flagpole on the shot and said β€œthat gave me a heart attack!”

I told him β€œactually that was a stroke”

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dingdongdan69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Needles-s to say, a pun that's worth a shot

I hate to say it but I'm not a huge fan of donating blood. I guess its cuz needles really get under my skin. But at least its not all in vein.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooliojulio7997
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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I’m not a dad but here’s my best shot.

What does a depressed cowboy say?

Yee-nah

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BulbaFriend2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What would happen if you got shot by a screwdriver?

You’d be screwed.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eternal_Collapse
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Han shot first
πŸ‘︎ 640
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CC_Dormouse
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I shot my first turkey today...

Scared the heck out of everyone else in the frozen food section.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I hear some of them even shot themselves.
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dilipkk2009
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I shot a bear in my underwear this morning.

What he was doing in my underwear, I'll never know

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blechniven
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Its worth a shot!
πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Great-Excuse
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"

"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
This "shot glass"
πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redstoneDaniel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
"There's a 60% chance the killer shot the victim from this spot right here and a 40% chance he shot from over there", said the detective.

"This concludes my probaballistic report."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/earthlybird
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I proclaimed to my wife that the world does not revolve around our little girl. Perturbed, she shot back, "Why on Earth would you ever say that!?" I explained, "Well, it's really quite simple you see, she's our daughter..."

"...not our Sun."

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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It’s all worth a shot
πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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I was gonna give archery a shot

But theres too many drawbacks

Edit: Heckin thanks for the platinum!!!

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demarcus-Xavier
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.

Well, that back fired.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What sound does a bullet shot in church make?

Pew pew pew

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pinknoodles2000
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Never tried this, but I'd give it a shot.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Flu Shot

I got the flu vaccination, but I got sick anyway, so I guess it was all in vein

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LittleMas42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Man: I've been shot!

Random dad: How can I help you?

Man: Call me an ambulance!

Random dad: You're an ambulance

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poemsavvy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard if you try to put a gun in your mouth and shot, it's not necessarily to make you die

This fact is just mind-blowing.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deoxys14
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy that got shot with an upholstery gun 200 times?

They said he's fully recovered.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/33arig
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was shot 200 times with an upholstery gun...

.. doctors say he is now fully recovered.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZimbaZumba
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I shot a man in German,

just to watch him the.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnreese421
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was shot more than 200 times with an upholstery gun...

Doctors revelaed he is now β€˜fully recovered’.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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