Shot on iPhone
π︎ 3k
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︎ Sep 25 2020
My friend was shot clean through his skull but survived.
I canβt imagine what was going through his mind at the time.
π︎ 72
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Man shot 200 times with upholstery gun.
Surgeons revealed he is now 'fully recovered'.
π︎ 35
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︎ Dec 09 2020
I shot a man with a paintball gun...
....just to watch him dye.
π︎ 42
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︎ Nov 30 2020
Will the Coronavirus shot come with a wedge of lime?
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 14 2020
A shot in the dark
π︎ 606
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︎ Sep 01 2020
There's a new show on BBC where heroin junkies can determine via experts, how much money they've shot up over the years.
It's called,Cash in the Addict.
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Letting you all know that I've volunteered for the Russian vaccine trials held here in Melbourne. I received my first shot at 9.00 am this morning
Itβs completely safe with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveΡ, and im currently feelshΞΊΞΉ ΟoΟoshΟ Ρ ΡΡΠ²ΡΡΠ²ΡΡ ΡΠ΅Π±Ρ Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ ΡΡΡΠ°Π½Π½ΠΎ ΠΈ Ρ Π΄ΡΠΌΠ°Ρ, ΡΡΠΎ Π²ΡΡΠ°ΡΠΈΠ» ΠΎΡΠ»ΠΈΠ½ΡΠ΅ ΡΡΠΈ.
π︎ 107
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︎ Sep 17 2020
took a screen shot on youtube when I found this pun
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Took a shot at making this pendant
π︎ 33
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Yesterday, I shot an elephant in my pajamas.
And later a rhinoceros in the buff.
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 04 2020
Two cowboys are lost in the desert when one sees a tree draped in bacon. He yells βitβs a bacon treeβ then runs to it and is shot up with bullets
It wasnβt a bacon tree it was a Ham Bush
π︎ 23
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I shot 3 under on 18 holes today but I'm still pretty disappointed.
My performance was really subpar.
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 19 2020
A group of pastors were being shot at
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 02 2020
I just witnessed a guy getting shot with a paintball gun.
π︎ 90
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︎ Jun 17 2020
I shot an oar out of a bow, and missed.
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 06 2020
Shots
π︎ 67
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︎ Jun 09 2020
Florida man shot over 200 times with an upholstery gun...
...Doctors say he's now fully recovered
π︎ 13
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︎ Jul 07 2020
I heard if you try to put a gun in your mouth and shot, it's not necessarily to make you die
This fact is just mind-blowing.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 09 2020
Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One cowboy sees a tree thatβs draped in bacon. βA bacon tree ! Weβre saved!β He says. He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets.
/r/Jokes/comments/i7puax/β¦
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 11 2020
My friend and I were playing golf. He hit the flagpole on the shot and said βthat gave me a heart attack!β
I told him βactually that was a strokeβ
π︎ 14
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︎ Jul 05 2020
Needles-s to say, a pun that's worth a shot
I hate to say it but I'm not a huge fan of donating blood. I guess its cuz needles really get under my skin. But at least its not all in vein.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jun 14 2020
Iβm not a dad but hereβs my best shot.
What does a depressed cowboy say?
Yee-nah
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 02 2020
What would happen if you got shot by a screwdriver?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 02 2020
Han shot first
π︎ 640
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︎ Nov 03 2019
I shot my first turkey today...
Scared the heck out of everyone else in the frozen food section.
π︎ 57
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︎ Apr 24 2020
I hear some of them even shot themselves.
π︎ 22
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︎ Apr 04 2020
I shot a bear in my underwear this morning.
What he was doing in my underwear, I'll never know
π︎ 12
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︎ Jun 21 2020
Its worth a shot!
π︎ 57
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︎ Mar 29 2020
"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."
π︎ 30
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︎ Apr 25 2020
This "shot glass"
π︎ 61
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︎ Feb 06 2020
"There's a 60% chance the killer shot the victim from this spot right here and a 40% chance he shot from over there", said the detective.
"This concludes my probaballistic report."
π︎ 4
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︎ May 01 2020
I proclaimed to my wife that the world does not revolve around our little girl. Perturbed, she shot back, "Why on Earth would you ever say that!?" I explained, "Well, it's really quite simple you see, she's our daughter..."
π︎ 54
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︎ May 16 2020
Itβs all worth a shot
π︎ 66
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︎ Mar 14 2020
I was gonna give archery a shot
But theres too many drawbacks
Edit: Heckin thanks for the platinum!!!
π︎ 10k
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︎ Apr 11 2019
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 04 2020
What sound does a bullet shot in church make?
π︎ 6
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︎ May 10 2020
Never tried this, but I'd give it a shot.
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 20 2019
Flu Shot
I got the flu vaccination, but I got sick anyway, so I guess it was all in vein
π︎ 9
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︎ Feb 09 2020
Man: I've been shot!
Random dad: How can I help you?
Man: Call me an ambulance!
Random dad: You're an ambulance
π︎ 34
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︎ Jan 28 2020
I heard if you try to put a gun in your mouth and shot, it's not necessarily to make you die
This fact is just mind-blowing.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 09 2020
Did you hear about the guy that got shot with an upholstery gun 200 times?
They said he's fully recovered.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 22 2020
A man was shot 200 times with an upholstery gun...
.. doctors say he is now fully recovered.
π︎ 6
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︎ May 19 2020
I shot a man in German,
π︎ 21
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︎ Apr 27 2020
A man was shot more than 200 times with an upholstery gun...
Doctors revelaed he is now βfully recoveredβ.
π︎ 5
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︎ May 20 2020
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