What washes up on the shores of small beaches?

Microwaves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sometimesmyself
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a female pirates favorite part of shore leave?

Taking off the sea cups.

(My wife actually should get most the credit)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/waldo06
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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I listened to a jazz ensemble when I was at the ocean shore for vacation...

Nothing beats sax on the beach!

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved.

πŸ‘︎ 441
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I once hiked to a lake with the states of Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New York on its western, southern, and eastern shores. Not a bird was singing and the lake was still...

It was Erie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Must....keep....maritime puns....

....at bay!

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the sea tell the shore?

Nothing, it just waved

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stayouttamyswamp-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m not shore about this
πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhantomLTG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
If you grew cannabis on an off shore platform...

...would it be seaweed?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keauxbi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I find it really hard to say what my wife does for a living.

She sells seashells by the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I found a load of batteries washed up on the beach.

I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Remeber, there is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like a moron.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/enis_with_a_p
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I was at the beach today and there was a group of pelicans not doing anything. I concentrated hard on one pelican and suddenly if flew out to the water, snagged a fish in his bill and flew back to shore. "Wow", I thought to myself..

Pelikinesis is a real thing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchitzPopinov719
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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What kind of melody does a ship makes when if it crashes on shore?

A wreck-quiem

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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Along the shore, some birds cooperate with each other...

because one good tern deserves another.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wjc-reddit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Shore to please
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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As I was rowing my boat towards the shore, a small black bird stopped me from docking.

Quoth the raven, β€œNever moor.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A blind person was eating seafood

It didn’t help.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nom_nom44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Ocean
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Axiom_117
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked the beach where the sea was...

It said it wasn’t shore.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlietd76
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
While on shore leave, Captain Picard intends to fix a hole in his uniform the old fashioned way.

Without any replicators on the family orchard, he decides to do it analogue with his brother's old sewing machine.

He puts a thread through the needle, his uniform underneath, and switches it on. It whirs and grunts out clunking noises before being switched back off.

"Robert your machine is broken!"

"What do you want me to do about it, Jean-Luc?"

"I need you to make it sew!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
In my twenties, I used to live on a houseboat, and started seeing the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife is nervous about having to talk to strangers on a cruise we are about to take.

I said, β€œDon’t worry. We are all in the same boat.”

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œGO TO YOUR ROOM!” I told my kid. She ran into her room and shored back at me β€œJUST FYI, JIM MORRISON IS OVERRATED!”

She’s so grounded. I’ve warned her repeatedly about slamming The Doors in this house!

Edit: shored= shouted obviously, damn fat fingers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/furushotakeru
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
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They added a dog to the Jersey Shore reunion house!

The Shih-tzu-ation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SyckTycket
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
🚨︎ report
My FiancΓ©e was at the store earlier and she texted me saying, β€œShould I buy new beach towels?”

I wrote back, β€œShore.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/srpjr3795
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Whale done, indeed.
πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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I didn't think I'd get lost at sea, but now I'm not so shore.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zokoro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is the ocean always on time?

She always like to say current.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConfidentDuck1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What washes up on tiny shores?

Microwaves!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bhladczuk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing. It just waved.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InstantLover
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Are we lost at sea?

I am not shore.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doors_2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
It is really hard to say what my wife does for a living.

She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing... it just waved.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
what did the sea say to the shore

Nothing it just waved

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinker222
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing. It just waved.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/User_97258
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
It's difficult to say what my wife does

She sells sea-shells by the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/herumdegumff
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the shore?

nothing , it just waved

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamertron20000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What did one ocean say to the other?

Nothing, they just waved

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainKrc
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
It's tricky to say what my wife does.

She sells sea shells on the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBiff09
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s hard to say what my wife does for a living.

She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pegun
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxyGramps
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mblondie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2017
🚨︎ report
It is hard to say what my wife does for a living.

She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report

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