The most important Dad at the annual neighborhood end of Summer barbeque bash!
You cow herds!
His dog is not as bad.
The icy ewe.
- "How many sheep do you have?"
- "I don't know. Every time I start counting them, I fall asleep."
Blue sky at night? Day.
Now I can truly say the Lord is my shepherd
Let's get the flock out of here.
“I herd you!”
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"
A shepherds spy.
Sheepdog: I know, I rounded them up
Greenpeace can stop Wailing Sheeps (Whaling Ships)
Yesterday he brought a dog along
...what’s the beef?
...because he had a little staff (staph).
Guttendog
Sheepdog: Yep. All 30 of them.
Shepherd: We've only got 28 sheep.
Sheepdog: I rounded them up.
Aussie-ago.
But it's really just a doggy shag story.
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
Guten Dog!
I see you!
Icy ewe!
He asked me if I'd help his round up his sheep.
I asked, "how many sheep do you have?"
"67", he said.
"Ok then", I said, "70".
He caught me stealing a sheep from his farm in Düsseldorf.
The accent
When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.
When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.
Let's get the flock out of here.
Stop it! You're herding me!!
The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."
The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
...Yoda originally spent part of his exile as a shepherd.
All the sheep, Dagobah.
For a Halloween party this year, I'm going as Cheesus Christ, the Gouda Shepherd.
That being said, I need to prepare an absolute onslaught of cheese related puns for maximum eye-rolls.
Give me your worst best, Reddit!
Shepherd: Wait, I only had 37!
Sheep dog: I know, I rounded them up!
The Lord is my shepherd.
Shepherds Pie
My mom made stuffed peppers with with Shepherd's pie ground beef instead of stuffed pepper mix. So my dad goes... "I guess these are Shepherd's Peppers!"
He couldn't wait to spit that one out and had a great big laugh. Then told it again because my mom wasn't in the room.
Edit.. I don't think some people know the food involved. Stuffed peppers are these. And shepherds pie is this
Get it? For boating?
... he was a shepherd. "We can still be friends though, if there are no herd feelings!"
I guess it's true then that The Lord is my shepherd.
My sister asked if we ever had shepherd's pie. I told her, "No, but every so often I cook 'matterdaddy.'" She walks off while shaking her head.
My brother doesn't get it and asks, "Matterdaddy? Matterdaddy? What the heck is a matterdaddy?"
I immediately respond with "Nothing. What's a matter with you?"
He groaned loudly and my sister just responds with "You're such a sucker for falling for that."
My wife called me up from the animal shelter the other day wanting to adopt a dog. Since money is tight current, I specifically said "0 canine". Now I'm the proud owner of 9 German shepherd pups and will from now on pronounce "0" as "Zero".
Day.
meat and potatoes, shepherd's pie.
Let's get the flock outta here.
