My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.

I replied, β€œBecause I am feeling light headed.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
It was so hot yesterday I had to stand in the shade.
πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HuwJon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I ain't taking no shade on this!
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
50 shades of grey
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrDoge64
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to tell you a joke about a shade of yellow...

... but I probably should skip it, it's mediochre

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheKatnukAhas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.

I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzywaffles84
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What repeatable, documented procedure do artists use when formulating the perfect shade of blue?

The Cyantific Method!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeTack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
"Shades"
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.

It made a good ad visor.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a lizard with angry red skin. It then turned orange! Then it turned yellow. Then green. Then blue. Then indigo, until it finally became a relaxing shade of violet.

Calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer chameleon.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I never park my car in the shade due to a little known medical condition.

Park in sun disease.

πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2018
🚨︎ report
50 shades of Leo imgur.com/Qkw4ngR
πŸ‘︎ 256
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hammer94
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Julie Andrews will not endorse that popular vibrant shade of lipstick. She says it breaks too easily and gives her bad breath. Her official statement on this........

The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do we have all these shade trees?

Fo' rest.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spizzat2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
50 Shades of Grey
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baudia
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover?

I want hue.

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mc1nc4
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2016
🚨︎ report
These cows are really milking the shade. Utterly ridiculous.
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MackAttack815
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2017
🚨︎ report
What shade of blue are sea cows?

Manateal.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SiriKarri
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
🚨︎ report
50 Shades of Grey

#4e5054, #272727, #282828, #292929, #2b2b2b, #2c2c2c, #2e2e2e, #313131, #323232, #343434, #353535, #373737, #393939, #3a3a3a, #3c3c3c, #3f3f3f, #404040, #424242, #444444, #454545, #474747, #484848, #4a4a4a, #4b4b4b, #4d4d4d, #4e4e4e, #505050, #515151, #535353, #565656, #575757, #585858, #595959, #5b5b5b, #5c5c5c, #5e5e5e, #616161, #626262, #646464, #656565, #676767, #6a6a6a, #6b6b6b, #6c6c6c, #6d6d6d, #6f6f6f, #727272, #737373, #757575, #767676, #777777, #7b7b7b, #7c7c7c, #7d7d7d, #7e7e7e, #808080, #818181, #838383, #868686, #878787, #888888, #898989, #8b8b8b, #8c8c8c, #8e8e8e, #919191, #929292, #949494, #959595, #979797, #9a9a9a, #9b9b9b, #9c9c9c, #9d9d9d, #9f9f9f, #a0a0a0, #a2a2a2, #a5a5a5, #a6a6a6, #a8a8a8, #a9a9a9, #ababab, #aeaeae, #afafaf, #b0b0b0

πŸ‘︎ 454
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ColonialDagger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2016
🚨︎ report
β€œFifty Shades Freed” was the highest grossing movie over the weekends.

It seems a lot of women roped their boyfriends into coming along.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nathanhulsey30
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2018
🚨︎ report
When someone throws shade at me...

...I take umbrage.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/constantclimb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Should I go see Fifty Shades of Grey in a regular theater? Or...

... should I pay a little extra and see it in clIMAX?

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/patriotminerva
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the female lead for Fifty Shades take the role?

Because she didn't meet Dakota for the month yet.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quasar226
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
🚨︎ report
My Mum was asked how the 50 Shades of Grey movie was...

Dad cuts in and replies "she hasn't had a chance to go yet, she's been tied up".

πŸ‘︎ 202
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rhonage
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Lamp shades imgur.com/8zGr31r
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RuSsYjO
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2015
🚨︎ report
My friend sent a picture in a group chat of her wearing 3 pairs of shades.

I said "You shouldn't go out in public like that. You would look shady." No one responded. I apologized for the lame joke. I tell lame jokes like this all the time and that might have been the last straw. What do I do? Help.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OkArmordillo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2016
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/esmithvl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2015
🚨︎ report
Fifty Shades of Grey... β€’ /r/funny reddit.com/r/funny/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reeegen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2015
🚨︎ report
So, I've been working on my own rendition of "50 Shades of Gray." Can I get some feedback?
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Does a Moss-que grow in the shade?

No, it grows on the Sunni side.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/felipe41194
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
🚨︎ report
I dadjoked my GF at 50 Shades of Grey.

We were both in a giddy mood because of how bad the movie was. It was more comical than anything else. This was the highlight of the night.

Christian Grey: "What are you doing for breakfast tomorrow." I lean over and whisper to my gf: "Eating breakfast" smh!

Hated the movie, but felt super proud of myself!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dahiya1991
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2015
🚨︎ report
"It's 35C in the shade, I'm melting!"

"Then get away from the shade!"

Typical dad...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hitno
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad, the shade-tree geologist.

What kind of rock is this dad?

That's a "Leaverite" rock, son.

What does Leaverite mean?

It means "Leave 'er right there."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Oddgenetix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2014
🚨︎ report
My 17yr old wanted some cream cheese. Asked if she wanted the 50 Shades of Grey kind...

You know...Whipped

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PoweredByADD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.