My wife got really mad when I told her she had no sense of direction
She packed up her bags and right.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
My parents found this while camping... someone has a good sense of humour
π︎ 103
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
My wife said I have no sense of direction
I was like where did that come from.
π︎ 461
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
My wife said, βYou really have no sense of direction, do you?β
I said, βWhere did that come from?β
Edit: Thanks for the love. Iβm right speechless.
π︎ 18k
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
Truly a blinding sense of humour on show here.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 04 2021
My wife and I had a 2 hour argument last night because I "have no sense of direction"
So I packed all my stuff and right.
π︎ 71
π
︎ Mar 17 2021
My wife and I share the same sense of humour.
We have to....She doesn't have one.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
How do you call something that makes a lot of sense for people who know how to count if you dont?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
From my 9 year old son: Dad, what hand do you wipe your bum with? Me: My right hand......
Response: EEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR, I use toilet paper.
Well played, boy.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Apr 28 2021
I had to break up with this girl who just would not stop counting.
I wonder what sheβs up to now.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Apr 04 2021
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor?
π︎ 27
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
Hope a large fraction of y'all have a sense of humour
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
I forgot to post this on Pi Day. Oh well! The Argyle Sweater for 3/14/21
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
What do The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
Some say I have a sixth sense of humor
I only laugh at dead people
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 09 2021
3 months since I had COVID and Iβve still got very little sense of taste.
Sometimes I just find myself settling down on the sofa, opening up Netflix and sticking on Friends
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
Damn!
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
β Dad, your jokes are hilarious. I think I have your sense of humor.β
β well, give it back !β
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
I told my dad that I always felt a deep sense of foreboding when we drive on the bridge over the canal
He said "That's because the canal IS for boating."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, βWhat happened before The Big Bang?β
He said, βSorry. There is no Time.β
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
I have had a very strange day.
First I find a hat full of money then I get chased by an angry dude with a guitar.
π︎ 72
π
︎ Apr 24 2021
My wife left me because I'm insecure.
Oh, no, wait, she's back. She just went for groceries.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
I'm sticking with/to my guns. It makes sense either way
π︎ 77
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
Misunderstanding on purpose
My favourite 'dad joke' is purposefully misunderstanding the kids and watching their disbelief as they try and reword things so even an idiot can understand. We have a family app so they need permission to download some apps onto their devices (because we are "controlling" π).
So every now and then this will happen:
Child : Can I get an app?
Me : sure, if you're tired just go and lie down.
Child: no, an APP
Me: yes, lie DOWN
Child: No, I need an... I want a...I just want...an app.
Me: or an early night?
Child: weary sigh
Me: you do look tired
- thinking I'm the best joker in history*
That was a short version. If it didn't make sense, read it aloud.
The kids will put me in a home at the first opportunity.
π︎ 225
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
I always tell people, my ex-wife has my sense of humor
That witch took everything of mine
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
My friend to said to me "there's no situation where a contraction makes sense but its split from doesnt"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
I have my moms sense of humor...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
Please dont call us grammar nazis
We prefer the term "alt-write"
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
My wife is really upset that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Aug 28 2020
My wife was angry that I had a bad sense of direction
so I packed up my things and right
π︎ 51
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
My wife is really angry that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
My wife said I had no sense of direction.
So I asked her, "Where did that come from?"
π︎ 48
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
My wife was fed up with my poor sense of direction.
So I packed up and right.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
My wife is mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
While I was driving, my wife said, βYou have no sense of direction, do you?β
I said, βWhere did that come from?β
π︎ 28
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
My wifeβs really mad at the fact I have no sense of direction
So I packed up my stuff and right.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
I got really upset when my wife told me that I had no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
π︎ 79
π
︎ Jan 12 2021
What do the Titanic and the Sixth sense have in common?
Icy dead people
Credit to b3ta
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction,
So I packed up my stuff and right!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
I had a fight with my wife the other day about my terrible sense of direction.
I just packed my bags and right.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
My wife was mad I had a bad sense of direction...
...so I packed up and right!
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
My wife is really mad because I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
My wife told me I have a bad sense of direction.
I packed up my things and right!
π︎ 33
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction."
"So I packed up my stuff and right!"
π︎ 24
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
My wife is really angry because I have no sense of direction
So I just packed up my things and right
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Feb 24 2020
What do you call farm animals with a sense of humor?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
My wife absolutely hated the fact that I have no sense of direction
So I packed up my stuff and right.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
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