My wife got really mad when I told her she had no sense of direction

She packed up her bags and right.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My parents found this while camping... someone has a good sense of humour
πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sloandog69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife said I have no sense of direction

I was like where did that come from.

πŸ‘︎ 461
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vishalbharadwaj21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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My wife said, β€œYou really have no sense of direction, do you?”

I said, β€œWhere did that come from?”

Edit: Thanks for the love. I’m right speechless.

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Truly a blinding sense of humour on show here.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/S-IVB_Third_Stage
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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My wife and I had a 2 hour argument last night because I "have no sense of direction"

So I packed all my stuff and right.

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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My wife and I share the same sense of humour.

We have to....She doesn't have one.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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How do you call something that makes a lot of sense for people who know how to count if you dont?

Counterintuitive

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raaxen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
From my 9 year old son: Dad, what hand do you wipe your bum with? Me: My right hand......

Response: EEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR, I use toilet paper.

Well played, boy.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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I had to break up with this girl who just would not stop counting.

I wonder what she’s up to now.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor?

Laughing stock.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Hope a large fraction of y'all have a sense of humour
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simwalkedaway
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I forgot to post this on Pi Day. Oh well! The Argyle Sweater for 3/14/21
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDorkKnight53
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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What do The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?

Icy dead people.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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Some say I have a sixth sense of humor

I only laugh at dead people

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxSaint_JimmyxX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
3 months since I had COVID and I’ve still got very little sense of taste.

Sometimes I just find myself settling down on the sofa, opening up Netflix and sticking on Friends

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Damn!
πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampoo_and_dick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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β€œ Dad, your jokes are hilarious. I think I have your sense of humor.”

β€œ well, give it back !”

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my dad that I always felt a deep sense of foreboding when we drive on the bridge over the canal

He said "That's because the canal IS for boating."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. There is no Time.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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I have had a very strange day.

First I find a hat full of money then I get chased by an angry dude with a guitar.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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My wife left me because I'm insecure.

Oh, no, wait, she's back. She just went for groceries.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sattoth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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I'm sticking with/to my guns. It makes sense either way
πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Masterkibyknight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Misunderstanding on purpose

My favourite 'dad joke' is purposefully misunderstanding the kids and watching their disbelief as they try and reword things so even an idiot can understand. We have a family app so they need permission to download some apps onto their devices (because we are "controlling" πŸ™‚).

So every now and then this will happen:

Child : Can I get an app?

Me : sure, if you're tired just go and lie down.

Child: no, an APP

Me: yes, lie DOWN

Child: No, I need an... I want a...I just want...an app.

Me: or an early night?

Child: weary sigh

Me: you do look tired

  • thinking I'm the best joker in history*

That was a short version. If it didn't make sense, read it aloud.

The kids will put me in a home at the first opportunity.

πŸ‘︎ 225
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πŸ‘€︎ u/user_error101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I always tell people, my ex-wife has my sense of humor

That witch took everything of mine

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeMan17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend to said to me "there's no situation where a contraction makes sense but its split from doesnt"

I said "aren't there?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Short_Artist_Girl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I have my moms sense of humor...

My dad still has his.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Please dont call us grammar nazis

We prefer the term "alt-write"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife is really upset that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timeforclock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was angry that I had a bad sense of direction

so I packed up my things and right

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife is really angry that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife said I had no sense of direction.

So I asked her, "Where did that come from?"

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/My_Blocks_Dropped
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife was fed up with my poor sense of direction.

So I packed up and right.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife is mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kiwiboy0419
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
While I was driving, my wife said, β€œYou have no sense of direction, do you?”

I said, β€œWhere did that come from?”

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife’s really mad at the fact I have no sense of direction

So I packed up my stuff and right.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vancity1985
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I got really upset when my wife told me that I had no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenonthewizlard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What do the Titanic and the Sixth sense have in common?

Icy dead people

Credit to b3ta

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DANGEL_DANGEL
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction,

So I packed up my stuff and right!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Krayola-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a fight with my wife the other day about my terrible sense of direction.

I just packed my bags and right.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImaCowBRO
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife was mad I had a bad sense of direction...

...so I packed up and right!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife is really mad because I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deathto2020
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife told me I have a bad sense of direction.

I packed up my things and right!

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction."

"So I packed up my stuff and right!"

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PersonWalker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is really angry because I have no sense of direction

So I just packed up my things and right

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/renegaderis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call farm animals with a sense of humor?

A laughing stock!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spicoli0525
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife absolutely hated the fact that I have no sense of direction

So I packed up my stuff and right.

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Itchy_Anxiety
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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