My wife suggested we should try some role reversal in bed....

So, I had the headache.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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Talking to a guy about a building a fence. I feel I’ve settled into my role as dad pretty well.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrM0n0cle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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My wife convinced me to have reversed roles during sex last time...

That was a pain in the ass.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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I just landed a small supporting role in an upcoming movie about the COVID-19 pandemic.

I guess you could say I'm going to be a Corona Extra.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spark115
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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What did Arnie say when he was offered a role in a movie about classical composers?

I'll be Bach

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Childhoodcocaine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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Why is Robert Downey Jr refusing to take new roles?

Cause he's Dolittle now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dori_lukey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Why was the boar rejected for the casting role?

He was too hammy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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His most challenging role yet.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
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"I got a role in a production of Macbeth!" "Neat, which one?" "Yes! How did you knowβ€½"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nerdfighter8842
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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A Zebra said to a Lion β€œLet’s swap roles for a while”...

.... the Lion said β€œ I’m game!”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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I was looking through the cards in the supermarket. One said on the front: "Thank You For Being A Role Model Dad."

How cute is that? So I slipped it into my pocket and took it home to show my kids.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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I recently started a management role working at a local soup kitchen

I'm the new soup advisor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fletcherox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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When my wife and I role play, she likes to pretend I'm a rope

she wants me to be extra knotty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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The hardest role an actor can play is that of a mascot.

They really have to get into their character.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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What kind of nails do they use in the rock and role hall of fame?

9 Inch Nails

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coopthecool
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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A method actor who takes a role of a drug addict is a Meth O.D. actor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadow_Boxer1987
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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What do u call it when a South African director can’t decide between two actors for a role?

A part tied

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dhjsnsennd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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TIL: Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.

The movie is called "You Tolkien to me?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
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This is my role model.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frapppa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2017
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Sam Riegel of Critical Role is often a source of puns (he's talking to a character named Fjord) clips.twitch.tv/JoyousWon…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IceTwenty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
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Me: I was once in a play called β€œBreakfast in Bed.” Her: Did you have a big role?

Me: No, just toast and coffee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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Little Known Fact: Matthew Broderick almost beat out Robert Downey Jr for the role of Tony Stark

When Downey got the role, they had to change the movie title to Iron Man instead of Ferrous Bueller's Day Off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/borgenhaust
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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How about that actor who played the role of a U-haul truck?

I heard his performance was moving.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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What is the pyromancer's role in battle?

He is there to provide fire support.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nico_Storch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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Experiments show that olfactory perception of pheromones might play a role in romantic attraction...

Love is blind, but it has a great sense of smell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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Gender Roles
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtownokie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2014
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Why did Will Smith turn down the movie role as a bear hunter?

Because he thought there shouldn’t be another Good Will Hunting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrwizit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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Why did the female lead for Fifty Shades take the role?

Because she didn't meet Dakota for the month yet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quasar226
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
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A man is auditioning for a role in an opera production the local opera company is putting on.

He's been practicing for this role for months. He goes down to the opera house on the day of the audition, only to find he's come down with a sore throat and can't hit his notes anymore. In a panic, he asks one of the directors if they can postpone his audition.

"I'm sorry," says the director, "but we can't delay an audition for just one performer. That would set a bad precedent. Instead, I'll let you in on a little opera house secret." The director pours the man a cup of warm, smelly liquid. "Drink this. It's a special tea to help your throat. The recipe has been passed down for decades in this opera company, and I guarantee it will make you able to sing again."

The man wrinkles up his nose and takes a swig. "Euch! This is... awful! What's in this tea anyways?"

"Well, it's a secret herbal tea blend made with... well... fish broth." The director replies. "Tuna, specifically. We've found it helps soothe the throat better than any other fish we've tried."

Sure enough the man is able to sing again! He hits all his notes and gives an exemplary performance.

At the end of the auditions, he finds the director that gave him the tea. "So... what did you think? Did I get the part or not?" He asks.

"I'm sorry," said the director, "you performed well, but we've decided to give the part to someone else."

"That's OK," the man says, "I'm just really grateful for the Opera-Tuna-Tea."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kojo2047
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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So, my girlfriend and i were doing some role play.

I was Santa she was a naughty girl. 'Unfortunately you've been a naughty girl and you're on Santas naughty list and wont be receiving any presents this year.' 'oh no Santa i really want a present i'll do anything to get on your good list' 'oh i dont know if there is a way i'm afraid' you're just going to have to bend over my knee and take your spank now.' bare butt spanks occur 'Please Santa let me on your good list I'm begging you' 'Well come to think of it there is a Claus in the contract' .... Then realising the accidental Santa Claus pun I made I had to be sure she got it. 'Get it! CLAUS HHAHAHA CLAUS LIKE SANTA CLAUS HAHAHAHHAA' yeah she didnt find it as funny as me... No sex for me..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/p4nz3r
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2014
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Role Models
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fauxe-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2016
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Basketball Players are good role models

They're really the kind of people you can look up to

edit: What's the difference between my good-for-nothing son, and a basketball player? A basketball player gets payed to lay up all day.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
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The son has taken the role of the father

So this was a conversation between me and my dad today:

Dad: I'm starving Me: Hi, starving. I'm Nick. Dad: Please tell me you did not just say that. Me: I never said "that". I said "Hi, starving. I'm Nick."

My Dad is now ashamed of me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickcooper1991
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2015
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It took my brother-in-law 2 kids for him to settle into his role

https://imgur.com/a/583Ao

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FOX_SMOLDER
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
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An attorney was offered a chance to play the role of William Shakespeare in a movie, but had to respectfully decline...

"I can't," the lawyer said. "I'd be dis Bard."

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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My mom's boyfriend of 3 years has taken on the role of my dad, he's getting pretty good at it.

Mom to me: Hey, go make me a chicken pot pie

Step dad: BAM! You're a chicken pot pie!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sydd321
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2014
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Calvin's Father is my role model

I totally believe in parenting similar to Calvin's father. As such, when my 6 year old son came to me and asked me why his index finger was shorter than his middle, I rationally explained to him that it had to be shorter because he'd poke his brain when he picked his nose.

It's been 3 weeks and he still believes me. :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavidTigerFan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2016
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Why didn't motorcycles get roles in the movie Cars?

They were just two tired to show up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/technically_art
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
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The roles were reversed this time...

My dad has been growing a moustache for Movember, and I commented on it.

Me: You know, you should grow a Lenin beard; it'd suit you.

Him: Really?

Me: Yeah, you could cosplay as Lenin and go to conventions! Hey, you could go to CommieCon! [satisfied grin]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jec178
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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FiancΓ©e got me in a role reversal

My fiancΓ©e is a graduate student. The cat likes to whine until she's picked up. As my fiancΓ©e was studying, the cat jumped up onto her desk.

Her (to the cat): "If you come over here, you're going to get held."

Me: "No, you're playing into her hand!"

Her: "She doesn't have any hands."

I must say, I'm a bit proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/01hair
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2015
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My dad and I were discussing Leo's role on Titanic when...

'Hey now, Dad, don't hate on DiCaprio. He's a saint, and has never won an Oscar despite his many Oscar-worthy roles." "I think only the Food Network can determine that. " "The Food Network?" "Yeah. What kind of rolls are you talking about?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theChristy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
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My wife convinced me to have reversed roles during sex last time...

That was a pain in the ass.

πŸ‘︎ 552
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agronero1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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