One time on a road trip we drove through Iowa and stopped at a farm around harvest time. I tried to speak to the farmer about buying some fresh corn 🌽 but he had no time for me.

β€œSorry, mister,” he said. β€œI’m up to my ears in work.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fladavpam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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Why did the cyborg have to rest after his long road trip?

Because he had a hard drive

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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I took my laptop with me on a recent road trip.

It was a hard drive.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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Road trip - why did the Dad tell the kids to take out their pencil and pad?

The sign said Draw bridge.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peacetoall1969
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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My lactose intolerant friend had some cheese at the beginning of our eight hour road trip today...

How dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oz_caution
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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I am driving through England on a road trip, and I’m supposed to be in Greenwich tomorrow.

Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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I was driving to a weekend hunting trip when I came to a fork in the road. Sign said bear left...

So I went home.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sulpfiction
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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What did the 2x4 say on a road trip?

β€œI’m board, are we stairs yet?”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NikoBuffalogna
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.

It was touch and go from there on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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Recently I took my family on a road trip, and we got a flat tire. When my daughter got out of the car to help, she almost got hit by a car.

Good thing she wasn't, that trip would've been short-lived.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SPONGEROBERT123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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Road trip.

I was talking with a friend. He said he wanted to surprise his wife with a trip up north, to the land of the midnight sun. I said "Alaska?" he said "NO! DONT! I said I want it to be a surprise!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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Two friends are on a road trip and one if them sees a sign stating they are approaching Louisville. One says "we should stop in 'Louie-ville' for lunch. The other says it's not pronounced 'Louie-ville', it's 'Louis-ville'!

They go back and forth for a while, neither convincing the other that they are right. Finally they decide on a place to eat. When they get to the restaurant, one of the friends asks the person taking their order to settle it once and for all. "Me and my friend are having a debate and hopefully since you live here, you can set my friend straight. Would you please tell us... and say it clear and slow for my friend here... where are we?"

The person behind the counter gets a puzzled look on his face, then says

>!"Buuuuuurrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiiiiinnnnggg"!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaultyData
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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Why is Dad in such a hurry to buy the glue right before the road trip?

Because it's important that everyone sticks to the plan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rawSingularity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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We were on a road trip and stopped to fill up

Everyone got out to pee and get snacks. I stretched getting out of the car and I farted. My 16yo daughter said, "Dad, that's gross."

I said, "Why? After all we are at the GAS station."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoetted
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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My wife looks at the atlass during road trips so we don't get lost

When I'm in the passenger's seat, I use the guy version. The atlad

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cole_Sate
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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My husband, toddler, and I are on a road trip. We turned on to the highway...

And directly facing the sun. I pulled down my visor down.

"Man," I said. "Just think, it's so bright in here I need to squint, even though the sun is 93 million miles away."

"What are you talking about?" my husband said. "He's right behind us."

groan

πŸ‘︎ 879
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuurAlaOrolo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2016
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Unexpected thing happened during road trip. Now bear with me
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madeofmistake
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
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Me and my family are on a road trip. After waking up from a long nap, I ask my dad, "what state are we in now?"

He replies, "the state of confusion!"

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
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Dad likes starting road trips with this one...

And we're off! Like a brides panties.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilsmiley69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2013
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Have you ever taken a road trip to the Seagate factory?

It's a hard drive.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/impulsive-ideas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2017
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4 hours into our road trip

Dad: "Oh look, we're entering the French Ghetto" Me: looks up and sees sign for town called LeCompton Many Groans were had

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oc0119
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2014
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On a road trip with my Dad

When a bug splatters on the windshield he always says, "I bet it doesn't have the guts to do that again".

πŸ‘︎ 380
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leglesslas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2013
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Made my wife and kids cringe during a road trip.

Kids were discussing animals. Someone mentioned gnus (wildebeests), how they have horse tails and buffalo horns. I told them I'm not even sure if they are real or not. "Really? You don't know if gnus are real or not?" Says the oldest in a skeptic tone.

"That's right. I'm an agnustic."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MuadLib
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2016
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Every Road Trip

6 Year old: Where are we?

Me (Dad): In the car.

Extension of the joke (Kid trying to be smart)

6 Year old: Where is the car?

Me (Dad): On the road.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anarcist69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2015
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Every single road trip--the train tracks joke.

Dad: "Hey kids, a train just passed by" Me and my siblings: "How do you know?" Dad: "It left its tracks!"

It was funny the first time when I was 9. Now it's funny because it's dad humor.

πŸ‘︎ 446
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πŸ“…︎ May 20 2013
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I’m currently on a road trip with my girlfriend and saw a truck full of donkeys...

It was really hauling ass.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFamousMrRed
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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Road trip

Driving through Georgia, the wife saw a sign for Jekyll Island. She turns to me and says, "Oh I've heard Jekyll island is really nice."

My response: "Yeah, I've heard it's a lot nicer than Hyde Island"

Her: "You're terrible."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PooGod
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2016
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A road trip

Saw someone I know that posted this on Facebook. They were on a road trip and they said to their dad, "Dad, keep left at the fork." And their dad replied, "Ok, what about the spoons and the knives?"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tygreen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2016
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While on a road trip, we saw a stopped train in the rain

I asked my dad if coal can get wet

He replied "if water gets on it, yeah"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tsoukaholic
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2016
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Road trip

While driving the car, dad complained that his glasses were dirty. Mom did her best, but she had a heck of a time cleaning them, and it took almost 15 minutes before they were presentable. When she finally handed them back to my thoroughly amused dad, he put them on, blinked, lifted his finger to the front window and said, "Hey, look, a road."

I am still ashamed I laughed at that.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaneCraft
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2014
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On a road trip with my dad, going through Carey, Idaho. "people are really nice in this town," he said.

"They seem to really Carey."

After we got through the town, he says, "Well, Carey on!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punxerchick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2016
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Who is up for a road trip? Pho real. atlasobscura.com/articles…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stretch_Aye
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
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Dad on road trip lunch

Driving through Illinois, everybody is hungry.

Mom to little brother: "Nick, we're almost to Effingham." Dad: "I don't want no f-ing ham."

Makes me optimistic that this talent will manage to be passed on to me some day.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rarely_Astatine
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2014
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Dad hit us with this one on a road trip

Dad sees a semi truck hauling hay with a blown tire on the side of road

Dad: "Hay... that blows..."

Me: "Dammit, Dad..."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wo0dles
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2015
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My dad on a road trip

Dad: We're going to stop at this BP station. Cuz I be pee-in.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2015
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I do this every time I'm on a road trip with my family

As I pass a truck carrying horse food, I point to it and yell "HAY"

My whole family, slightly startled, looks around, at what I'm so excited about, then realize, and in unison roll their eyes and groan

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/strider820
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2015
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My dad pulled this gem out on a family road trip

I was sitting in the front seat with my dad traveling with the rest of the family when 2 bugs splatted on the windshield...

Dad: What did the 1st bug say to the 2nd?

Me: *sigh * what?

Dad: "I bet you don't have the guts to do that again."

Groans ensued from everyone including my 78 year old grandma who can barely hear from the back seat.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xhlgtrashcanx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2014
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Road trips with Dad

Me: "Are we there yet?" "Son, we are never there we are always here"

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hashsview
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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My friend dropped this one as we were driving over a bridge on a road trip across the state

"hey guys did you know that bridges generate static electricity? When we get over the center of the bridge touch the window"

We all touch the windows even though we have no idea where he is going.

"do you feel it? Do you feel the pane?"

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cortexgunner92
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2014
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Road trips are prime time for dad jokes

Passing a graveyard Dad "I wonder how many dead people are in there?" Victim "I don't know..." Dad "All of them, I hope. or Dad "You know, people are just dying to get in there."

Passing a corn field Dad "Wow, just look at all that corn. It's a-maize-ing!"

After a haircut Victim "Dad, did you get a hair cut?" Dad "No, I got 'em all cut."

I realized after I posted this that I included the haircut joke after a road trip title. It was a late night of good beer (with Dad, of course) and I remembered it and thought it needed to be included.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hnnhwk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2013
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After three years this is still the one joke I'm the most proud of. I got my friend with this one on our road trip to our vacation in Italy.

So this was in the summer of 2011 and at the time this song was a big hit: Medina - You and I. The important part here is the chorus, starting at 0:44.

So in the middle of the song I ask my friend "Do you know what kind of car this singer drives?"
"No idea", she said. To which I replied "A hyu-n-dai."

She almost threw me out of the car.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anntike
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2015
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Road trip facepalm

Disclaimer: Told by a non-father

American Woman comes on radio

"Guess who plays this song..."

car passengers start to guess the band

"No, Guess Who (the band) plays this song"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/therealdonniej
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2016
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Every road trip

bug hits the windshield

Dad- That bug had guts

Me- sighs

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rybear86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2015
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My Dad's go-to joke for road trips

Whenever a bug hits the window, he would ask;

"What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield."

long pause

"His ass!"

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deezuss
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
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My mom dad joked us all on a road trip.

We were driving to Minnesota for vacation and as we are passing through Iowa, I see a wind farm (they are very uncommon where im from). I say "look, guys! A wind farm!" To which my mom replies almost immediately "I wonder if they start them off as seeds or sprouts." Kinda caught us all off guard!

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dylanvansandt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2014
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Friend got me while on a road trip

After stopping for fuel and snacks at a little service station we resume travel. My friend got a bag of little crackers and chips mixed together. He offers me some and feeling snackish, "okay yeah I guess maybe I'll have a bit" he replies very quickly "you can have a bite too" at which point I realize it's a bag of bit and bites. Damn it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Progedog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2016
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On a long road trip I got my friend

Her "ugh my legs asleep" Me "Danm now it's going to be up all night"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sicklyfun
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2015
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Passed a demolished building on a road trip with friends

One of them says,"I wonder what that used to be." My response: "A building probably."

Sighs were had...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicdiabetic
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2015
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