I bought a shop vac, but had to return it.
It kept buying things off the internet.
π︎ 5
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︎ May 09 2021
Why did the Cows return to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
Edit: Thank you for the awards.
I was expecting this to go noticed like most of my other posts. You peeps rock!
π︎ 1k
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︎ Jan 16 2021
Why did the priest return his ps5?
It didnβt support cross play
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 28 2021
My wife was not happy with the new mattress I bought for us and wanted to return it asap
I asked her to sleep on it and decide tomorrow.
π︎ 11
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︎ Mar 27 2021
What do you call it when an old Australian person tries to contact you but you have to return the call?
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 27 2021
I'm tired of waiting for my PA to finish my return
It's really taxing my nerves.
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 24 2021
I bought this book but had to return it for all the fowl language
π︎ 4k
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︎ Jul 01 2020
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return, no matter how you throw it?
I don't know, but I'm tired of getting hit with these bananas!
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 28 2021
I confronted my friend Mark because he refuses to return my dictionary.
I said, βMark, my words!β
π︎ 25
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︎ Oct 22 2020
My 9 year old returns with another joke for you all!
What is the stupidest thing in the universe?
A black hole, because it's so dense!
π︎ 19
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︎ Sep 20 2020
The darkpun returns
π︎ 13
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︎ Sep 13 2020
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Sep 15 2019
Customer: I want to return this vaccum cleaner.
Salesperson: Why?
Customer: It sucks.
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 24 2020
A sweater I bought was picking up so much static electricity that I had to return it to the store.
They have me another one, free of charge.
π︎ 25
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︎ Jul 27 2020
But will I get a good return?
π︎ 40
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︎ May 19 2020
Jesus was an automobile enthusiast and had a car he really loved. Everytime Jesus went to visit his parents, he would return with his car sporting a new colour
His father was a Carpainter
π︎ 17
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︎ Jul 21 2020
To celebrate Bundesliga return tonight!!
π︎ 8
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︎ May 16 2020
I recently did a joke about a suicide bomber not having a return ticket
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 15 2020
Why are you supposed to round to the nearest dollar on your tax returns?
Because the IRS has no cents.
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 15 2020
Why did Bernie Sanders refuse to return to the Senate after the primaries?
He wanted to practice socialist distancing
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 23 2020
Why did the astroid return his salad?
π︎ 11
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︎ Apr 22 2020
This guy from Egypt called me to invest in a tourism company, and then to ask 3 others to invest in it, while getting returns from their investments. I declined it.
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 09 2020
You should know you can help to recycle dead batteries and return them in most supermarkets
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 06 2020
An American coronavirus investigator got sick and had to return from China
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 02 2020
Ordered some bass in a restaurant, but I had to return it because the fish they gave me was full of diarrhea
π︎ 24
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︎ Aug 09 2019
Had to return this cookie it had a hare in it
π︎ 18
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︎ Apr 13 2019
My wife bought a pumice foot stone the other day, but I made her return it.
I asked her never to bring pedi files into our house again.
π︎ 31
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︎ Aug 29 2019
A man is at a doctor's appointment and the Doctor returns and tells the man "I'm sorry, sir, but you've contracted a disease that has erased all memories of 80's music from your mind."
The man looks shocked and asks "Oh no! What's the Cure?"
π︎ 61
π
︎ Jan 18 2019
I received a letter the other day saying my tax return was 'outstanding'.
Although it's lovely to receive such high praise from HMRC, to be honest I can't even remember sending one in.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Nov 21 2018
I need to return my porcelain duck
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 12 2019
I paid a car dealership a monthly fee to drive a car for 2 years then after that I would return the car to the dealer...
It was the leased of my worries.
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 23 2019
What sucks you in and gives you nothing in return!?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 19 2019
π︎ 11
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︎ Feb 08 2019
I was hopeful that my dad would return because I was told dads were like boomerangs
But then I remembered that I didn't throw my dad at a 20-degree angle
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 27 2019
My Philipino wife kicked me out for my general McAurther impersanation. I told here I shall return.
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 25 2019
The US mint wants to stop making pennies because it costs more to make than the returns...
That wouldn't make cents.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jun 09 2019
I had to return the glasses I bought as an anniversary present for my wife.
She still can't see things my way
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 12 2019
Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
π︎ 188
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back
π︎ 591
π
︎ Aug 17 2019
The sweater I got for Christmas was picking up static electricity. So I went to the store to return it.
They gave me another one. Free of charge.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 27 2019
What do you call a boomerang that doesnβt return when you throw it?
π︎ 28
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︎ Apr 09 2020
What do you call a boomerang that wonβt return to your hand?
π︎ 57
π
︎ Jan 06 2020
Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 10 2019
I was pissed off at my buddy Mark who borrowed my dictionary and refuses to return it.
I said, βMark, my words!β
π︎ 358
π
︎ Nov 17 2018
why did the cows return to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
π︎ 171
π
︎ Apr 19 2018
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