I was positive she would get it...
π︎ 19
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
I finally found a genie in a bottle! So I asked if it would be possible to change French positives to Spanish...
He replied, "oui shall sΓ."
π︎ 90
π
︎ Mar 05 2021
What's the most positive thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
What is something that is only considered positive during this pandemic?
Being negative and smelling like alcohol.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 18 2021
I once dated a phlebotomist whom, when she tried to draw my blood, said "Be positive."
It was then I realized, she wasn't my type.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
I tested positive for my corvid-19 test
It really ruffled my feathers
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
I told my wife that I must always be positive. She asked βWhy must you?β
βItβs in my blood.β I replied.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
The cast from Pulp Fiction tested positive with Covid after going camping together:
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
Recently, the Kansas City Chiefs acted quickly and had to pull their team barber out mid-cut because they learned he tested positive for COVID.
Guess you could say that it was a close shave
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
Mate was feeling down so I told him there's a positive and negative to everything, you just gotta find it...
Poor fella can't even put batteries in right....
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
Did you know Pecans are one of the most positive type of nuts out there...
Else, theyβd be called Pecants
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
What makes boaters such positive people?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
U have been tested positive for breathtaking
π︎ 128
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
I met a transformer who only had positive thoughts.
He said his name was optimist prime
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
I am positive that there is something wrong with Quasimodo's back
Or it could be just a hunch
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
I've been working on not mansplaining and instead saying something positive. How has been going?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
Trump tested positive for COVID-19
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
Stay Positive
Son is working on math. Currently working on negative numbers, which is below his level (pun intended).
Wife says, "He is really bored. If you can think of anything to say to help that would be great.
Me to son, βHey buddy, I know you are working on negative numbers and that is boring. Try to stay positive.β
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
I got my wife 4 pregnancy tests and they all came back positive
Sheβs now worried about how we are going to raise 4 kids.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
Now is definitely not the right time to start surrounding yourself with positive people.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
So I tested positive for covid antibodies.
My dad wanted to know about my uncle-bodies.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 05 2020
/r/BlackFathers will now be a positive and supportive community for Black and POC fathers
https://i.imgur.com/GlXV2kE.gifv
Reddit admins have recently granted ownership of /r/BlackFathers to myself and a group of other Black/POC mods, and it is our intention to make this a positive and supportive community. This is a place where Black/POC fathers and their family, friends, and colleagues can find helpful resources, welcoming content, and a safe space to learn from each other and share our experience.
Content of all types are welcome so long as the subject/focus of the content is supportive of Black/POC fathers. We look forward to seeing you there.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
Instead of medicine, my hippie girlfriend cured her hemorrhoid using only the "power of positive suggestion."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
An English professor was telling his class that a double negative makes a positive, but there was no case in which a double positive creates a negative.
From the back of the room a Physics professor said, "Yeah, yeah."
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 14 2020
Feeling positive
π︎ 45
π
︎ Feb 28 2020
A nuclear power plant put up a new sign outside that read, "Post your positive reviews of us on social media!"
They were just fission for compliments.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 19 2020
B Positive
π︎ 65
π
︎ Dec 21 2019
You're so positive
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
people dying in hospitals often have such positive outlooks on what they can do.
Whenever I ask if they can do something it's always "Can sir."
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 05 2020
I just got word my ex wife was rushed to the ER and tested positive for COVID-19!
So I guess she wasnβt sick of me?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 23 2020
I was hired to represent the hard outer layers of cereal grain in a positive light and by doing so help to increase awareness and sales.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 16 2020
In response to all the negativity on Reddit, Here is a positive post.
π︎ 40
π
︎ Aug 18 2019
Iβm positive I just lost an electron...
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 22 2020
Get it positive ha
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 11 2019
Let's all try to stay positive during these challenging times.
So if anyone asks, tell them you're Coronavirus positive π
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 23 2020
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 31 2020
My girlfriend needed a blood transfusion. Life or death ya know? But her parents and I could not remember her blood type. As she lay dying on her gurney, she kept insisting βbe positive, be positive,β
But sometimes, itβs really hard without her.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 27 2020
You're fired, Jack. The test results came back, and you tested positive for Coke
π︎ 117
π
︎ May 01 2019
BREAKING NEWS: The president of Brazil has tested positive for the coronavirus.
He met with Trump only 4 days ago!
The odds of this are like... one in a Brazillion...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 13 2020
So you think two positives don't make a negative?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 16 2020
What kind of algebra teachers are positive
The ones with absolute values
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 23 2019
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 17 2019
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