"Oh, It was just a hunch."
Confused and upset, I asked why.
The vet advised he was too heavy to hold any longer.
Time does fly when you’re having fun!
They can be buggy
Getting karma should be easy as cake
Edit: It’s a giant cake day celebration! Happy cake day everyone!!
Audi, partner 🤠
Dick gray, son!
You can hear a pin drop, after all.
This is because they're filled with anty bodies.
My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.
Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says “coolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.
Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??
- I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!
Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that “creative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!
The virus will be quarantined for 14 days
“Well, son. Weight is your size in relation to the Earth’s gravity.
Mass is what Catholics go to Sunday morning.”
When its not peeling well... (cringe moment)
The results were exactly what I expected.
unfortunately, they have no Leeds
Now I see it everywhere.
It would be a bad hobbit
Os-Moses.
The pirate replies, “Arrgh, it’s driving me nuts!”
“Si, está.”
I was right all along
I replied “That doesn’t sound very cute to ME, doc...”
Now I see it everywhere.
But when I do, he laughs
One will see you later and the other will see you in a while?
Daughter groaned, employee laughed, other dad's nodded approvingly.
People from all Woks of life, son.
The Texas Department of Transportation (TxDOT) found over 200 dead crows on U.S. Highway 281 this past week, and there was concern that they may have died from the Coronavirus.
A veterinary epidemiologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Coronavirus (COVID-19).
The cause of death was actually from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorcycles, while only 2% were killed by cars.
TxDOT then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorcycle kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike"!!!
Doctors now confirm that it was only Saturday Night Fever and they assure everyone that he is Staying Alive.
“Protects against harmful rays”
They've opened a murder investigation.
I'd hate to toot my own horn.
According to them, I have an outstanding balance
...log cabins
When asked about it in an interview, Mick confirmed that "The Rolling Stones gather no mas"
I went online and saw that a nigerian princess wanted to send me millions of dollars. However, I had to send $100 for handling fees on the check. However, I wanted confirmation. So I had her send me a picture. She did. Now, a princess needs a prince right? So I went online and found a picture of an eligible bachelor prince. Some guy from Jordan. I then took the two images, placed them side by side, and had some photoshopped ceremonial garb.
In otherwords, I married the prints. Of course, I took pictures of the happy event and sent them to the "princess" with the caption "I already married the prints." The scammer didn't reply unfortunately.
I should have bought asparagus
Was not a terrier attack.
I have twin daughters, and when I know they're hungry I always pick one up and say "Hey! You feel a little light, you must be hungry!" Now I feel a strange compulsion to do it every time.
Now I see it everywhere.
Now I see it everywhere.
Now I see it everywhere I look.
