What did the optimistic scientist say when he woke up?

"Up and atom"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pseudosecure
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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What blood is the most optimistic?

B+

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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What’s an optimistic vampire’s favorite drink?

B positive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjoye11
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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I’m very optimistic about the upcoming U.S. elections. I feel as though the country will be able to move forward with a strong, clear vision.

It is 2020, after all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kttypo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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When your latin teacher is optimistic
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πŸ‘€︎ u/589ca35e1590b
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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I’m an optimistic pessimist.

I’m positive things will go wrong.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alfrodobaggins
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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Why was Humpty Dumpty optimistic for winter?

He had a great fall

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alman1127
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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Why is 0 a optimistic number?

Because 0 is never a negative number.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoulSilver1712
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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What did the optimistic potato say to the pessimistic potato?

Yukon do it!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bananalalagot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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What does a viking that is trying to be optimistic say?

Could be norse.

(I just thought of this, i genuinely hope it's not a repost.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dggz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
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I complimented all of my kids today for being so optimistic....

...because every darn glass they leave sitting around the house is at least half full...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2017
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Why is the KanJPz an optimistic tank destroyer?

Because if it was pessimistic, it would be called the KantJPz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
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If pelicans weren't so optimistic...

we would have to start calling them pelican'ts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sawer707
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2015
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My Optimistic Dad.

"I can't wait til tomorrow"

Why?

"I get better looking every day!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toberoni
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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I ate an optimist once...

But, I couldn't keep him down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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The pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees a freight train.

The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/firestrike007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist. While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

The Opportunist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Crane flies are optimists.

They're always looking on the bright side.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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An Optimist and a Pessimist Walk into a Bar

The optimist orders a drink while the pessimist puts ice on the bruise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeffafa42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunsquared
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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Pessimist....Things can't get any worse.

Optimist.....Nah!! Of course they can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Optimists: Its tortilla

Pessimists: Its tortino

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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i wanna see pessimistic one
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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What type of blood does an optimist have?

B Positive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThickOunce
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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I met a transformer who only had positive thoughts.

He said his name was optimist prime

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artisticspawm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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I’ve been having problems with my vision, so yesterday I went to my optimist.

He said it would get better.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thug_Lawyer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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A pessimist has a glass that’s half empty, an optimist has a glass that’s half full.

An optometrist just has a pair of glasses!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Somedudesmusic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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The optimist sees the donut whole; the pessimist sees the donut hole.

I tried to get this to a sexual joke, but I will leave it as an exercise for the reader.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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How do you know pelicans are optimists?

If they were pessimists we’d call them pelicants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spacegecko
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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I went to a party full of optimists and passed out after drinking too much.

I woke up and someone had drawn happiness on my forehead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
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An Optimist was Walking Around a Graveyard

He said, β€œI’m seeing a lot of plus signs here.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PKMKII
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
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Which Transformer always sees the glass as half full?

Optimist Prime

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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An optimist jumps from the Empire State building midway someone asks..

How are you doing? Optimist: so far so good

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Msaniifu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2017
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"Nobody is ever going to find a prime number larger than me!" - Optimist Prime
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πŸ‘€︎ u/venona
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2014
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What is an optimist's favorite condiment?

Relish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2016
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At a job interview:

"What are your strengths?"

"I'm an optimist and a positive thinker."

"Can you give me an example?"

"Yes, when do I start?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Ah physics class... You've done it again
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingBubIII
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State building.

"Don't do it!!" he yelled. "You have so much potential!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/derawin08
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
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Why was Humpty Dumpty optimistic for winter?

Because he had a great fall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alman1127
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Humpty Dumpty optimistic for winter?

Because he had a great fall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alman1127
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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Why is Humpty Dumpty so optimistic about the coming Winter?

Because he had a great Fall!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaterRules
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2017
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An optimist and a pessimist...

An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it’s an exit.

A pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and assumes it is an onrushing train.

The train conductor sees two stupid guys staggering on train tracks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2016
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Optimist Prime and Negativetron.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vicous
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2015
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What blood type do optimists have?

B positive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/symbot001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Transformer with a half full fuel tank?

Optimist Prime

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaggington
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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A man wanted to jump off a building

A scientist who was there yelled at him: Don't, you have so much potential!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bladexp210
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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