What do you call a popsicle with booze in it?

An alcohol lick

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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I just discovered who Popsicles was.

He was the Greek god of mispronounced words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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While I was walking the dog, our 4 yo was harassing my wife for a treat. She texted β€œShe’s trying to get a popsicle out of me.”

I responded β€œBut you’re not a freezer.”

I could feel the eye roll down the street.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/976chip
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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What do you get if you make a popsicle using Tabasco?

A spice-lolly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/h2g2_researcher
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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People usually say, β€œlet’s blow this popsicle stand,” when they are at a place where people are cold and have the proverbial, β€œstick up their ass.”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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Some puns I found on popsicle sticks
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πŸ‘€︎ u/91lightning
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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I’m looking for punny popsicle names. I’d like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. I’m particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/polkadotmcgot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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What do you call a popsicle that's filled with holes?

A Popesicle!

Get it? Because it's holy.

^^^^My ^^^^kids ^^^^didn't ^^^^get ^^^^it ^^^^either...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoosterShield
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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Astronauts only eat popsicles

...because in space no one can hear the ice scream.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeardsTheWord
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2017
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Wanna know what male scientist called the first versions of Popsicles?

test icicles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSuperDerpyDoge
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2017
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Lame joke, popsicle (xpost r/funny)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Burn_Cereal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
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Double helix
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenB323
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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What do you call a magical bra?

An abracadabra.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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What do you call a Dad that has fallen through the ice?

Popsicle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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I am very dyslexic.

But I have learnt that through hard work and determination, anything is popsicle!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stackiit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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You think THAT’S depressing? You know what’s REALLY depressing?

Those popsicle sticks in the doctor’s office!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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I had neurosurgery in May. I wonder how long he was planning this... imgur.com/8E4ICUk
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mjr861
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
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what does a dad eat on a hot summer day?

Popsicles.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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What kind of driver never gets a ticket?

A screwdriver.

Edit: I have tonsillitis and have been living off popsicles with jokes on the sticks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lizzybe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
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Dessert Puns

I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.


I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, β€œDo you want a lift”. β€œNo thanks”, they replied, β€œWe’re Walkers”.


I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all Β£5 apart from one that was Β£10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said β€œthat’s maderia cake”.


Bought some cream, it said β€œstore in a cool place”. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.


Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.


I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.


A man says β€œI keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says β€œI’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.


I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.


How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden


What do they call a man who abandoned his diet? DESSERTER.


Ice cream is exquisite… –what a pity it isn’t illegal.


The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.


Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam’s banana.


Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.


Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!


When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it’s been sliced.


What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?


Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!


What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.


What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!


A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charley’s death? BEN and JERRY.


Don’t eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you won’t be able to budge.


You know you’re a mom if… Popsicles have become a staple food.


Mexican candy makes my taste buds say β€œOLE!”


FORGET LOVE… I’

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
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Just became a dad.

I think the popsicles at the hospital are doing a good job of preparing me.

http://i.imgur.com/iHdGZBd.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ksrdian
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2015
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[Meta] Can anyone think of a good dad joke gift idea?

I wanted to make my Dad a chainsaw for Christmas, but I'm not sure if we have the saw and I don't want to ruin a perfectly good chain for it.

Can anyone think of another dad joke gift, like a quarter pounder with cheese?

EDIT: I did the quarter-pounder with cheese. I used little rubber bands, (The kind kids make bracelets from) popsicle sticks and a rolled-up piece of sturdy paper. If anybody wants to make it, let me know and I'll go into more detail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ancel3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2015
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Overheard this one at a fast food restaurant

A Dad At Nearby Table: What is the difference between Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb?

(Silence)

Dad: A PhD!

/Good enough for popsicle sticks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dditto74
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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My husband dropped this on me tonight while I was giving our kids dessert.

Me to my daughter: Hey, is that a popsicle wrapper?

Husband: No, I believe it's an R&B artist.

groans all around

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InnerTaunTaun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2014
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My brother will make a hilarious dad someday.

My brother: There's popsicles in the freezer, by the way. Me: Cool. Him: Yeah, they ARE pretty cool. Y'know, since they're in the freezer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karmachameleoned
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2014
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What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?

A Popsicle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?

A Popsicle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?

A Popsicle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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What do you call a dad that has fallen through ice?

A Popsicle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DallasDomino0806
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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What do you call a dad who's fallen through the ice?

A popsicle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeoTheSpiderboy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?

a popsicle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SideOfInsanity
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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