An alcohol lick
He was the Greek god of mispronounced words.
I responded βBut youβre not a freezer.β
I could feel the eye roll down the street.
A spice-lolly.
A Popesicle!
Get it? Because it's holy.
^^^^My ^^^^kids ^^^^didn't ^^^^get ^^^^it ^^^^either...
...because in space no one can hear the ice scream.
test icicles
An abracadabra.
Popsicle
But I have learnt that through hard work and determination, anything is popsicle!
Those popsicle sticks in the doctorβs office!
Popsicles.
A screwdriver.
Edit: I have tonsillitis and have been living off popsicles with jokes on the sticks.
I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.
I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, βDo you want a liftβ. βNo thanksβ, they replied, βWeβre Walkersβ.
I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all Β£5 apart from one that was Β£10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said βthatβs maderia cakeβ.
Bought some cream, it said βstore in a cool placeβ. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.
Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.
A man says βI keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the otherβ. The doctor says βIβm afraid you are a trifle deafβ.
I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden
What do they call a man who abandoned his diet? DESSERTER.
Ice cream is exquisiteβ¦ βwhat a pity it isnβt illegal.
The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adamβs banana.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because itβs too hard to put them on the bottom!
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When itβs been sliced.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charleyβs death? BEN and JERRY.
Donβt eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you wonβt be able to budge.
You know youβre a mom ifβ¦ Popsicles have become a staple food.
Mexican candy makes my taste buds say βOLE!β
FORGET LOVEβ¦ Iβ
... keep reading on reddit β‘I think the popsicles at the hospital are doing a good job of preparing me.
http://i.imgur.com/iHdGZBd.jpg
I wanted to make my Dad a chainsaw for Christmas, but I'm not sure if we have the saw and I don't want to ruin a perfectly good chain for it.
Can anyone think of another dad joke gift, like a quarter pounder with cheese?
EDIT: I did the quarter-pounder with cheese. I used little rubber bands, (The kind kids make bracelets from) popsicle sticks and a rolled-up piece of sturdy paper. If anybody wants to make it, let me know and I'll go into more detail.
A Dad At Nearby Table: What is the difference between Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb?
(Silence)
Dad: A PhD!
/Good enough for popsicle sticks
Me to my daughter: Hey, is that a popsicle wrapper?
Husband: No, I believe it's an R&B artist.
groans all around
My brother: There's popsicles in the freezer, by the way. Me: Cool. Him: Yeah, they ARE pretty cool. Y'know, since they're in the freezer.
A Popsicle.
A Popsicle.
A Popsicle.
A Popsicle
A popsicle.
a popsicle
