Sundae Puns

I scream

The banana split

I thought "the streets are strangely desserted tonight."

He said yes. Which was weird, because I swore it was a Saturday.

No thanks, it's only Thursday.

Sundae school.

Then, Sundae.

Sundae school

Palm Sundae

Otherwise, they might have to work on sundaes.

Because I refused to work on sundaes

Little sister: Hey dad do you want to try this amazing sundae

Dad: No thanks, I prefer Mondays

Me: "How much do Saturday's cost?"

Pretty terrible, but this is what I get

"Do they have old strawberry Mondays?"

“Hello, Thirsty. I’m Friday, come over Saturday and we’ll have a Sundae.” (Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun)

I answered 'in sundae school', he laugh-snorted, my wife gave me the look we all know here.

I couldn't do sundaes...

Just because I refused to work on a Sundae!

I guess that time at sundae school paid off...

Sundae.

Probably angel food cake.

No deviled eggs.

Miracle whip on all his sandwiches.

Thomas's English muffins? Doubt it.

Hearts of palm on ice cream (a palm sundae).

Keep it going!

Me: “Sundae School.”

At Sundae school!

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

I don't like working on sundaes.

Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.

It was his sundae school.

"***HI THIRSTY, I'M FRIDAY, COME ON OVER SATURDAY AND WE'LL HAVE A SUNDAE!!***"

Come on dad I didn't even get that one until I was like 14.

I thought to myself, “The streets seem strangely desserted…”

In sundae school.

Sunday School!

In sundae school!

Sunday school.

In sundae school

Because it's Sundae

At sundae school.

Sundae school

At sundae school.

At sundae school!

Go to sundae school!

Sundae School

Sundae school