A man was admitted to hospital after swallowing 6 plastic horses.
His condition has been described as stable.
π︎ 207
π
︎ Jun 01 2021
I just got a job on a production line making plastic Draculas
There's only two of us working there, so I have to make every second count.
π︎ 122
π
︎ May 26 2021
I remember a time when plastic surgery was a taboo subject, but nowadays when you mention botox..
..no one even raises an eyebrow.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Mar 01 2021
When my doctor told me my plastic surgery was free of charge
The look on my face was priceless
π︎ 59
π
︎ May 06 2021
Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Addicts group meeting...
I see a lot of new faces here today!!
π︎ 683
π
︎ Mar 31 2021
My Dad works at a plastic water bottle factory.
He says the most fulfilling part of his day is watching the bottles get filled.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 29 2021
I know a guy who got arrested for offering fraudulent plastic surgery.
Heβd give people huge, round hickeys and then charge them for performing βLip-O-Suctionβ.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 28 2021
My daughter pointed at a big plastic ball with a famous kids cartoon explorer on it....
I said, "That's A DORA BALL!"
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 21 2021
A man was admitted to hospital today with 10 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.
Doctors have described his condition as stable.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 20 2021
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards
I'm sure that must have been a record
π︎ 30
π
︎ Apr 24 2021
Did you hear about the British plastic surgeon who specializes in lip enhancement?
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 10 2021
I bought a container of protein powder, but then had to spend several seconds with my fingers knuckle-deep in the powder itself, trying to fish out the little plastic scoop thatβs included.
Man Iβm glad thatβs out of the whey.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
I have a friend who loves computer programming but his parent wanted him to be a doctor. So he became a plastic surgeon.
Now he's a full rack developer.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 10 2021
Did you hear about the priest who was admitted into the hospital with over two dozen little plastic horses lodged in his rectum.
Doctors say he is in stable condition.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
I saw Kate Middleton's sister leaving a plastic surgeon's office the other day, but I can't tell you what work she had done.
That would be a Pippa violation.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 08 2021
Did you hear about the guy who had 12 plastic horses up his butt?
Doctor's reported his condition as stable.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
A bell curve walked into a plastic surgeon's office and said "Doctor, I don't like the way I look"
And the doctor said, "You look normal to me".
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
What Kind Of Plastic Does A Clown Use?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
What kind of bees are made of plastic?
π︎ 116
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
Always being asked why I'm holding two plastic drinking cups.
My answer is always the same: Because.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
Did you hear about the guy who makes comics out of tiny colourful plastic discs?
He is a sequintial artist.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
So you don't believe that I sell plastic explosives?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
The police were not convinced that my neighbor had hidden plastic explosives in his basement, so I told them...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
What's the difference between a sneaky alcoholic and a clumsy plastic surgeon?
One takes a nip of the tipple, the other takes the tip off a nipple.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
Iβm thinking about opening a plastic surgery center
I will call it βPick Your Noseβ
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 12 2020
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.
I see a few new faces this week and I must say Iβm disappointed.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
Son: "Do you want the wooden one or the plastic one?"
Dad: *Getting into row boat* "either oar"
π︎ 142
π
︎ May 27 2020
At the grocery store the other day, the bagger asked the woman in front of me, "Paper or plastic?" She responded, "It makes no difference to me. You choose." The bagger explained that he isn't allowed to, and that she had to choose. This upset her quite a bit, which was confusing to me.
I thought it was common knowledge that baggers can't be choosers.
π︎ 630
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
Welcome to plastic surgery anonymous.
I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd tonight and I just have to say I'm really disappointed
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
Why can't you surprise plastic containers?
π︎ 43
π
︎ Aug 09 2020
Plastic fantastic.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Apr 25 2020
Me: Dude! Come with me to the storage! I organized all the philosophy theses into plastic boxes with hanging files!
Unimpressed Friend: So, Crates...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
I came across a list of ingredients to make plastic explosives.
I thought to myself, "Boy this looks like a real recipe for disaster!"
π︎ 34
π
︎ May 30 2020
They said plastic is bad for nature
That's why I used it indoors
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
Paper based puns for a project about turning paper into plastics
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 17 2020
Hereβs a plastic fork to keep in your car, I didnβt use it.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
I got a new job on a plastic Dracula production line.
There are only two of us working so I have to make every second count.
π︎ 75
π
︎ May 27 2021
Remember when plastic surgery was taboo?
Now if you mention Botox, nobody even raises an eyebrow
π︎ 42
π
︎ May 10 2021
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?
Now you mention Botox and no one even raises an eyebrow.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
I've just got a job making plastic Draculas
But there are only two of us on the production line.
So I have to make every second Count!
π︎ 427
π
︎ Jun 21 2020
It used to be taboo to talk about plastic surgery.
Now if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.
I'm sure that must have been a record.
π︎ 450
π
︎ May 26 2020
A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his butt.
The doctors described his condition as stable.
π︎ 96
π
︎ May 13 2020
Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.
I see a few new faces here this week and I must say I am very disappointed.
π︎ 130
π
︎ Apr 01 2020
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?
Now you mention Botox and no one raises an eyebrow.
π︎ 497
π
︎ Jan 21 2020
I don't like having to decide between paper or plastic.
Why can't baggers be choosers?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.