For a while I dated a woman who owned a pile of flesh
You know what they say though...
Beauty is only skinned heap
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︎ Mar 23 2021
I like my women like a pile of Loweβs precut studs:
Cheap, stacked and knotty
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︎ Mar 13 2021
What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meowtain
This is my and my daughters favorite joke
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︎ Dec 17 2020
I was thrown on a pile of clocks
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Asked my kids this morning to bring their laundry and separate it into whites and colors. My son holds up some grey sweats and asks which pile.
My response: Not sure son, thatβs kind of a grey area.
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︎ Dec 19 2020
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog shit on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one:
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︎ Dec 27 2020
My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books.
I told him that he's only got his shelf to blame.
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︎ Oct 31 2020
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Did you hear about the cannibal who threw a pile of funny bones into a boiling cauldron?
He made himself a laughing stock
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︎ Aug 26 2020
A man died today when a pile of books fell on him
He only had his shelf to blame
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︎ Jul 27 2020
The worst thing about having Piles is...
Its such a pain in the ass.
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︎ Nov 08 2020
TIL about the big pile ups on the Cretaceous highway.
They were tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
I told me son he was a big pile of sheet
It was more of a blanket statement.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
What do you call a miscellaneous pile of marshmallows, chocolate, and gram-crackers?
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︎ Jun 13 2020
I just watched my wife trip and drop the pile of clothes she just ironed.
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︎ May 15 2020
Why did the safety manager insist that a big pile of LSD be removed immediately from the factory floor?
He felt it was a real tripping hazard.
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︎ Mar 20 2020
Did you hear about the gardener who fell into a pile of his fertiliser and suffocated?
They had to do a compost-mortem.
(Credit to The Simpsons, the punchline came from a Treehouse of Horror ep)
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︎ Feb 09 2020
I just fell face first in to a pile of herbs..
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︎ Apr 17 2020
I had a pile of RAM, but I can't quite recall where I put it
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︎ Sep 08 2019
TIL about a truck full of antelopes that stopped suddenly on the freeway and caused a 15 car pile up.
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︎ Apr 23 2020
What do you call a pile of kittens?
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︎ Oct 01 2019
I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.
I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.
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︎ Dec 16 2019
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
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︎ Oct 23 2019
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame"
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︎ Oct 26 2019
Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?
Itβs just plain common scents.
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︎ Nov 10 2019
What do you call a pile of cats.
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︎ Jan 14 2021
What do you call a huge pile of cats?
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︎ Sep 01 2020
What do you call a huge pile of cats?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Today I was crushed by a pile of books
I've only my shelf to blame.
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︎ Oct 08 2020
Police say a man died after being crushed under a pile of books
He only has his shelf to blame.
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︎ Aug 17 2020
What do you call a giant pile of cats?
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︎ Jul 20 2020
What do you call a giant pile of cats?
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︎ Jun 27 2020
What do you call a pile of kittens?
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︎ Aug 18 2020
What do you call a huge pile of cats?
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︎ Jun 15 2020
What do you call a pile of cats ?
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︎ Jul 28 2020
What do you call a pile of cats?
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︎ Jan 19 2020
What do you call a massive pile of cats?
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︎ Mar 24 2020
What do you call a pile of cats
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︎ Oct 14 2019
Police say a man died after being crushed under a pile of books
He only has his shelf to blame.
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︎ Aug 17 2019
What do you call a pile of kittens?
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︎ Apr 13 2019
What do you call a pile of cats?
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︎ Nov 11 2019
What do you call a large pile of cats?
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︎ Sep 24 2019
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
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︎ Mar 06 2019
What do you call a pile of cats?
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︎ Oct 25 2019
what do you call a pile of kittens?
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︎ Sep 28 2019
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