Once upon a time, there was a dad and he was very well known at gatherings with his witty humor and painful puns.
Then his son came along, and very quickly picked up on dad's gifts but he used them on the internet instead.
Dad mused for a minute, and said it must be heredditary...
When you run out of bread in France
I am worried she wonβt be able to pull it off.
i now stand corrected
When I got home, they were still there.
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Pain au chocolat
It really Hertz
It was a joint effort.
We were diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome
Now I just need to get him out of that loaf
A T-shirt
Dr. Pepper.
But it turns out to be more of a pain the the fingers.
Because his name was Charlie.
Someone had already ripped the appendix out.
Arthrites.
I might have to get my back checked out.
"I am sorry, honey." I replied. "What is wrong?"
She said, "Wear your own then, dickhead."
because the parrots eat em all
It must have been the delivery...
An oxymoron!
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
Pirate replied, βarghh, itβs driving me nutsβ.
Urine trouble
...but not anymore! I'm ex-static!
There was once a boy. He was the son of the richest man in the universe. Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, he dwarfed them all. He was a multi-trillionaire. Now, it was this boy's birthday. His father asked him,
"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. A store full of lego, all the video games in the world, anything. What would you like?"
His son replied.
"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one pink ping pong ball."
His father was rather confused by this request. Out of all the things he could've chosen, his son chose a ping pong ball. Nonetheless, he agreed and gave him a pink ping pong ball. His son was overjoyed and spoke to him.
"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong ball?"
"Okay son, go ahead."
The boy then went up to his room and played with his pink ping pong ball. When his father went in the next morning to check on him, the boy was sleeping in his bed and the pink ping pong ball was nowhere to be found.
On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.
"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"
His son replied.
"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one box full of pink ping pong balls."
His father was again, confused by this. Still, he bought a cardboard box and filled it with ping pong balls. He gave it to his son, who said.
"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong balls?"
The father nodded, and the son went up to his room to play. The next morning when his father went to check, the boy was sleeping peacefully and there were no pink ping pong balls in sight. Just the empty cardboard box in the middle of the room.
On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.
"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"
"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one truck full of ping pong balls."
Now, by this point, the father was extremely confused. Why did the boy want so many pink ping pong balls and where were they going? He asked.
"My son. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and I can certainly get you this, but may I ask, why do you want
... keep reading on reddit β‘I said "hey wind, chill..."
After about half an hour the doctor says..."You won't believe this, but i just pulled $1999 out of your bottom"
The man turns around and says "Yeah, I wasn't feeling 2 grand"
Itβs a pain in the ass
Hardest day of my life.
C
Iβm really worried she wonβt be able to pull it off.
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
I donβt think sheβll be able to pull it off.
