What did the doctor prescribe to the supernova who was complaining of the aching of their leg?

Nova-cain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDreadist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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My jaw is aching
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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A man moaned about his aching leg, whilst training for the marathon.

β€œDon’t worry about it” his friend said, β€œit’ll be worth it in the long run”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luko_the_meme
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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A guy I know injured his thumb and his fingers started aching in sympathy the next day.

They were brothers in arm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImpossiblePudding
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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What do you call an aching tooth?

Toof.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tipsylibra
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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Did you hear about the students complaining of aches and fatigue when they did math homework?

They're calling it fibromyalgebra.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HennyPennyBenny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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What do you do when you have a stomach ache?

You rectify it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrestigeZyra
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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What does a T-rex call a back a back ache?

A dinosore

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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My dog ate an entire box of crayons by himself and got a horrible stomach ache.

It was pretty shitty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Commment
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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I had a tooth ache.

I also hate the dentist. Weeks went by and each day the pain was worse. My wife was also complaining how bad the smell of my farts were becoming. When I finally went to the dentist she informed me I had an abscessed tooth. Then it all made sense. Abscess makes the fart grow stronger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbiiggdd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Why did the cowβ€˜s stomach ached?

Because there was no more rumen it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FernandoLH95
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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What do spiders take when they get stomach aches?

Webto-Bismol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mqge
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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cake ache
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryancg22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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TELL ME WHY? AINT NOTHIN BUT A HEART ACHE
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LuanGaff
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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A mustache must ache.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobo311
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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I recently made a fluffy, delicious European breakfast entree, but when I finished eating it I had a stomach ache.

It was a Belchin Waffle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dawall12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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I woke up this morning with another freakin’ back ache.

I thought to myself, β€œknot again!”

Explanation (since I guess I’m supposed to):

The knot in my muscle was the cause of my back pain. Knot/Not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lapret
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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My wife had two crowns put on her teeth yesterday. She was complaining about the pain and the dentist gave her some medication for it. We are talking later and she said that she waited too long between the first and second pill and her teeth started to ache again. I asked her what time that was.

She said she didn't remember.

I asked her if it was around tooth hurty!

She got mad and hit me in the arm and stopped talking to me for a while.

Totally worth it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackdragon8577
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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What kind of medicine did the tree take for its aches and pains?

Aleaf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uncool_iowan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Dad hit me with this one after I complained about a shoulder ache.

He tossed me a little bottle of pills and said "take these, they're homeopathic pills for muscle pain. "

I told him, "Dad, I don't do homeopathic stuff."

Dad:"Well once you take these and feel better you can take a girl on a date."

Me:"What does that even mean?"

Dad:"That's called romeo-pathy"

Dear God this joke made the pain worse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ILIKEFUUD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2016
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Why do you get a stomach ache if you swallow toothpaste?

It isnt mint to be swallowed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meltedpickless
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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Why did Freddie Mercury go to the chiropractor

His body was aching all the time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wellsiv
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I had a stomach ache

Me: Do you have any antacids? Dad: No, but I have some uncle-acids!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blewis222
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2014
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Why do you get German people's attention when sneezing?

ACH...

...TUNG!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pasha_07
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Waking up with a tooth ache and a hangover..

Tell my roommate my face hurts because I probably fell off my bed at night. He responds, " did you fall off at tooth-thirty?!?"...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ama457
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2014
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what do you get if you eat a bomb?

atomic ache

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goldygold2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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How did the dagger feel after exercising for the first time in a long while?

He was a little sword

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smellybaby
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Such pain

Having stomach ache is a shitty feeling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZacchaeusA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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Know what's twice as bad as a toothache?

A fourth ache!

Told my daughter this one earlier.

"REALLY DAD?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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I once got severe pain in my head from inhaling too much of steam.

It was a big mist-ache

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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Call in sick

Bill Johnson called his boss and said: "Hey, boss I cannot come work today, I am really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my leg hurts, I cannot come work."

The boss says: "Bill I really need you today. When I feel sick like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better and I can go to work. You should try that."

Two hours later Bill calls again: "Boss, I did what you said and I feel great, I'll be at work soon. By the way you got nice house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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Why do dinosaurs hate long car rides?

Because it gives them a Brach-ache-and-a-saurass.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CobaltD70
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year ...

Or they might get autumn'y ache.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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I walk a lot and I've developed plantar fasciitis in my right heel

This condition is caused by inflammation of the plantar fascia along the bottom of your foot, and it can cause pretty intense heel pain.

After I got home from work last night I tried to soak my foot in some hot water. My wife saw me and said, "That isn't going to work..."

I said, "Hey! I am allowed to have my ache and heat it, too!"

She just stared at me for a moment, shook her head, and walked out of the room...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurkMcGill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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Just yellow please

One day, an elderly woman was walking along the street, coming home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was especially heavy that day, and as she passed Nathan Hale's Used Cars, she got an idea that she could drive herself to the store and save a lot of shoe leather, time and aching muscles. She walks into the car dealership and, as it just so happens, gets the owner himself. He asks her what kind of car she wants and she replies,

"Well, sonny, I can't remember the name exactly, but it has something to do with hate or anger."

The owner replies, "Well, let's see... Oh yes, you want a Plymouth Fury! We have a couple on the lot. What color do you prefer?"

The lady has some trouble explaining the exact color to him, so she reaches into her shopping bag, takes out an ear of corn, strips down the shucks and says, "I want this color sonny."

To which Nathan replies, "Ma'am I'm sorry, but we don't have any in this color. Could I show you a nice blue one?"

"No son, I want this color."

"But ma'am, they didn't make that color! Maybe a cherry red one would suit you?" says the owner, obviously worried about losing a sale.

By this time, the old lady gets mad, and starts throwing things at the owner, thereby chasing him out of the office and into the lot. One of the salesmen, coming into the office from the back door, notices the disruption and asks the secretary what the old woman was so upset about.

The secretary replies, "Apparently, Hale hath no Fury like the woman's corn!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrotalusHorridus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Why do you never get changed in front of a PokΓ©mon?

Because it might peek-ach-you

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chloe-jones-smith
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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Math Conversions

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

Credit to my economics professor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_kleco
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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Knock knock

Who's there?

Ach

Ach who?

Bless you

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swesley86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A man went into a doctors office to ask about his sore stomach

The doctor said β€œquit your belly aching”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LargeHamster69
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
New weights and measures
  1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds17. 52 cards = 1 decacards18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin22. 10 rations = 1 decoration23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decision
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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Knock knock

Dad: "Knock knock"

Son:"Whos there?"

Dad snickering softly: ach-

Son visibly confused: ach-who?

(Dad continues to start laughing while his son roles his eyes )

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killerspider19
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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