I have nothing but major props for the guy who came up with this caption
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tempacct073
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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Dad joke with props.

For Christmas my dad gave me and my siblings a stocking full of coal. Also in the stocking was stock certificates for coal companies. He wore a well deserved shit eating grin all day.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sevohanian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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I give a lot of props to the people who invented jackhammers

It was such a groundbreaking invention!

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πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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This just happened at a softball game and didn’t get the props it deserved.

My son was playing with a fly. It’s wings were messed up so it couldn’t fly away. He was holding it and said, β€œDaddy, this fly’s wings are broke.” I said, β€œthen it’s not a fly, it’s a walk.”

I got utter silence from the people around me, though my daughter giggled a little.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UmraTiwil
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Props to u/sjorsNL
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tuomine_n
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Props to you, sir
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikejohnson137
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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Props to the school janitor for always dealing with your crap
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsEmeraldd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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All the props from the bay watch TV show recently sold at auction for well over the asking price.

When the winner was asked how she could justify the expense for old towels? Her response was that it is still the best way to dry Hoff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whitespys
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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(Xpost from r/pics) Props to whoever built this fan.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thoraxbitner
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
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I built a support to prop up my planner that helps keep track of the news reports about the robbery of 3-foot measuring devices from a boat repair place in West Michigan...

It's my Georgetown Township Shipyard Yardstick Stickup Update Datebook Bookend.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MenacingBanjo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
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Dad had to mess with one of my Sister's props for her engagement photos.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KillerPenguinz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2013
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Someone leaked the prop notes for Thor 3

They have to use a lot of low-key lighting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thoma5nator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2016
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I don't like her, but props.

Picking up my 6 year old son from my exes parent's house, he asks why he couldn't stay with them tonight. I tell him I'm hungry and I'm going to have a few bites of him.

Son: (whining) I don't wanna get ate.

Son's grandma: You won't get ate(8) you've got two more years!

He smiles and I die a little inside because I missed my moment to shine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whereimatnow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2017
🚨︎ report
Almost Props to the GF

I tell my Girlfriend about an article I was reading where NASA is working on plans to build a submarine to search Titan's ocean for life. She looks at me and says the whole plan sounds 'Fishy'...

After I got done laughing she looks at me and says "What's so funny...?" I was so impressed too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/erickitt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2015
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Grandpa the Prop Comedian.

Grandpa: Pulls out all of the contents of his pocket and stands in a crowd staring at it... just waiting for the sucker who asks what he's doing.

When someone finally notices, sometimes after minutes of waiting, he says "They say I lost my marbles, but I found one"

Sure enough, he'll have a marble in his hand. He always carries a marble so he can make this joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abrown4788
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2013
🚨︎ report
I spent all day on the Internet looking at mufflers

And now I’m exhausted!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabrodgil
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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I was a little shocked to find out that Bill and Melinda Gates are divorcing.

They seemed so happy..on the Surface.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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Math puns!
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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Would you like to hear a bad joke about blood?

*dad joke

Sorry. It was a Type O

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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No one likes this pandemic. Well, no one apart from Bane..

No one cared who he was until he put on the mask.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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What does your little sibling and Q have in common?

They will always rely on U

(props to my middle school student for making this one up). We start with a top r/dadjokes every morning for advisory - I'm slowly convincing them that dad jokes are the best jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrono116
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't stop my mushroom from leaning.

I think I need some morel support.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglytool
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Say what you want about carrot top, but fact of the matter is he’s out there making a living as a comedian

You gotta give him props for that

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvilly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A wife came home and finds her husband sitting in front of a game of chess....

...with a raw egg propped up on the other side.

She asks: "What are you doing?"

He responds: "Well this pancake recipe says I need one beaten egg..."

"So... you decided to play it in a chess game?"

"Well yeah, but the darn egg keeps winning!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abucket87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I made a righthand turn in Deadwood SD onto

Calamity Lane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hotairduck
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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Meet my new friend - hammer.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miks0nGraWGry
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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This legen-dairy text I received earlier tonight
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LOD2001
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2017
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Cowboy Boots

A woman went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen. The woman asked him if it's true what they say about men with big feet being well endowed.

The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady. Why don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?"

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.

Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am. Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me for mah services before."

"Don't be flattered," she said. "Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up…

Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, 'Dad'.

With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands:

"Dear, Dad.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy.

She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad.

She's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better.

She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.

I'm over at Jason's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.

Call when it is safe for me to come home!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Who respect actors the most?

Backstage crew. Always giving props to them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abhilashmurthy
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Just in case
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMcFukmutty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Berry Good Pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkZerkerM
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy came to the door, asked if I wanted to be Jehovah's Witness ...

I said "Are you kidding, I didn't even see the accident." (Props to the Unknown Comic.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charles_Deetz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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Dad is very welcoming of aunt's new boyfriend

So we were having a big family video call last night, since we're all on different continents, and my aunt was introducing us to her new boyfriend, Bill.

> Cousin: So when is Bill gonna come visit us, so we can meet him in person? > > Aunt: Oh, I don't know, Bill doesn't really fly (he's afraid of flying) > > Dad: He doesn't have to, the plane does. > > Long distance family groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/llirving
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2016
🚨︎ report
My mom sent me this picture with the caption "Dad wants to know what he should eat first... He's just cracking himself up..."
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2013
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I’m really proud of my friend’s collection of acting equipment.

Props to him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Macbeth joke in the wild

I was at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival waiting for β€œMacbeth” to begin and next to me this Dad says conversationally to his family, β€œYou know, It makes sense that this play is set in Scotland... after all they mostly get kilt”

His family groaned and I gave him props for the Dad joke in the wild.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtVerseMan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Student with a cast on his arm walks in to class and says β€œI can’t write with my right hand today.”

I ask, can you left with your left hand?

Many students gave me props for the dad joke. One student said I sound like their dad. While I have no kids of my own, I’m glad I get to practice my dad jokes on my students.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrono116
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad got me while in a restaurant

My Dad and I were in a restaurant when he pointed to an aeroplane propellor mounted on the wall.

Dad: Do you think it's real?

Me: The propellor? Of course!

Dad: Oh, I thought it was just a prop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyem_46
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2016
🚨︎ report
I (35/f) just dad joked my dad while out for lunch

The parents and I went to a mexican place for lunch. I got a strawberry daiquiri that they mistakeningly made with copious amounts of tequila.

3/4 of the way through the drink I look over to the corner or the restaurant and say, "Dad! We shouldn't have eaten here. They're molding in the corner!"

Both turn to look, mom groans and hangs her head, a look of understanding, then pride slowly moves across his face.

There was infact, and long piece of wood moulding propped up in the corner of the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crochetyhooker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I really respect the folks who make and source small items for movies.

Props to them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSpaceCowboy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Being single can be fun

Last week a wheel broke off my office chair and I kept it because I'm never one to pass on the chance for prop humor.

On Tuesday I got invited out with two of my friends to go grab a drink after work, I was told their girlfriends would be there too.

I pocketed my wheel and brought it with me to the bar, after a while when the couples started getting into their own chit chat I silently placed the wheel on the bar.

My friend asked me why there was a wheel on the bar and I told him "Oh, I'm just solidifying my spot as the fifth wheel."

I laughed and then died a little on the inside.

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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2015
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What did the airplane say to the helicopter?

Mad props, yo!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
🚨︎ report
There are three classes of cheerios

There are three classes of cheerios, the lower class (plain ol' cheerios), the middle class cheerios (frosted), and the elite class (honey nut). One soggy morning in Seattle, a plain cheerio awoke in his single room apartment. He looked out at the still sleepy city, blanketed in a mist of rain. He quickly got dressed and put his shoes on, this would be the day. He stood propped against the bus stop, smoking a cigarette. "God I have got to stop this habit." He thought to himself. Glancing back and forth at the bustle of cheerios, he saw her. She looked about 25, devastatingly gorgeous, and he could smell the honey from where he stood. "Excuse me ma'am," his voice quivered, "I - I think you might be the most beautiful cheerio I have ever seen." She smiled and her otherwise golden brown face grew red. " This is a long shot, but will you marry me?' She was obviously caught off guard by this, but her red lips formed the word, "Yes." They raced through the morning mist of the city, and arrived at her fathers house. The cheerio bent down in front of her father. "Sir, I would like to ask for your blessing in marrying your daughter" "No! You are a regular cheerio and my daughter needs a high quality honey nut" he snapped. "But sir." "No means no damnit!" "Sir this is very unrea-" "You come back a honey nut and you'll have my blessing, my daughter is not about to marry a low life like you." The cheerio sprinted home, tears streaming down his face. He fumbled against the lock and sprawled out on his bed. When he awoke it was early, his sheets had a dark silhouette from his wet jacket. He sat up and lit a cigarette. "Damn." he sighed to himself. Walking in front of his mirror, he noticed something different. His body was frosted! He had become a frosted cheerio! He darted out the door without shoes, reaching the honey nut household in no time at all. He banged on the door, and the beauty's father answered. "Sir I am a changed cheerio! I'm frosted!" he exclaimed. Her father had a stern look on his face. "You think you are any better? The dirt on my boots are worth more than you." he hissed. The old honey nut slammed the door on the young frosted. He heard the deadbolt click. The newly frosted cheerio didn't take the same way home. He stood on the edge of a bridge, feeling the cool autumn wind on his sugar coated skin. Was he really going to go through with this? Was it worth it? No he was a frosted cheerio now. He couldn't get the girl, but he was a changed cheerio. He

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/R1pply
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2017
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Do you think that if Carrot Top ever won a lifetime achievement award for comedy,

He'd give props to all the people that helped him along the way?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeyfarrar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2015
🚨︎ report
I’m really proud of my friend’s collection of Hollywood acting equipments.

Props to him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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