A list of puns related to "Dummy"
I just canβt put it down!
Heβs telling a dumb blonde joke when a young platinum haired beauty jumps to feet, βwhat gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?βshe demands. βWhat does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?β
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer an apology
βYou keep out of this! She yells, βIβm talking to that little jerk on your knee!β
Let The Bodies Hit The Floor.
Their mistake
It was a slow death but a beautiful finish.
Heard this one on Whose Line last night. Credit to Ryan Stiles.
But I need to take it back, because I already reddit.
Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
I always wanted to test one of those blow-up dolls
I think my resume speaks for itself
A pro-crash-tinator
He's always talking out of his ass.
His puppeteer.
Because all their vehicles are smash hits
He did unspeakable things.
Thank you for the awards. You made my day π
She said βfast foodβ. I said βno, dummy... that would give them the runs... they eat nothing; they fastβ
βVentriloquism for Dummiesβ
5yo: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
5yo: To get to the dummy's house.
Me:...
5yo:...
Me:...
5yo: Knock Knock.
Me: Who's there?
5yo: The chicken.
I wasn't sure if it was her or the beer talking.
A stick. What else dummy.
What has two arms and no legs....but it always runs?!
a clock you dummy!
Whose there?
Cow says
Cow says who?
No, cow says moo, dummy
But I'm their sun
You have to be a real dummy.
(From Abbott and CostelloβsΒ radio show, December 30, 1943)
Lou Costello: Oh, Abbott, the worst thing just happened to me!
Bud Abbott: No!
Lou Costello: Yeah, Mrs. Niles gave me a dog for a Christmas present, and the dog just took a great big bite out of me!
Bud Abbott: Where did he bite you?
Lou Costello: Well, if Iβd have been wearing a license plate, heβd have gotten the last three numbers.
Bud Abbott: Where did this happen?
Lou Costello: Well, let me see, where did this happen β in a crowded streetcar. It was the first time I ever gave my seat to a dog.
Bud Abbott: Well, never mind that. What kind of a dog did Mrs. Niles give you?
Lou Costello: Do you remember that famous dog, Strongheart?
Bud Abbott: Yes, I remember Strongheart.
Lou Costello: Well, this is his brother β Weak Stomach.
Bud Abbott: Listen, Iβm not talking about that. What is the dogβs breed?
Lou Costello: What does he breed? He breeds through his nose, like you and me!
Bud Abbott: No, no, no, you dummy, what kind of dog is he? Spitz?
Lou Costello: No, but he drools a little.
Bud Abbott: Look, there are different types of dogs, such as Setters, and Pointers, β¦
Lou Costello: Thatβs it, Abbott! Heβs a Setter-Pointer!
Bud Abbott: A Setter-Pointer?
Lou Costello: Yeah, he sets all day and points at the icebox! (Editorβs note: we now call an βiceboxβ a βrefrigeratorβ)
I will now take suggestions on how to be more sensitive to deaf people. I'm all ears!
A nose, dummy.
Courtesy of my 7yo daughter. Such pride.
We were at an exhibition, and there was an Army Ambulance with a practice dummy on a trolley hanging out the back. He turned to me and said
.
.
.
Look, Plastic Surgery!
No strings attached
At dinner tonight I was talking about trying out the crafts for the summer camp I work for. Without missing a beat my dad says, "Oh, so you're a craft-test dummy?" Despite the fact we all groaned he still beamed proudly and pumped his fists in the air.
I've been too busy to go get an emissions test, so while my mom and I went out to run some errands, my dad did that and also filled my tank and took my car through the wash.
Dad: Did you notice anything different about your car?
Me: No.
Dad: I got you a carwash. I heard that the dirt needs to be changed every 6,000 miles.
Edited because I'm a dummy.
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