Only in Newe Zealand
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerialMasticator
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Last week, I tried out ten new puns

To see if they’d make people laugh... but no pun intended!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phoenixrejoicez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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Looking for a new pun tat

I already have a bee on my butt-cuz when I do the sizzle finger thing I say it stings beeing this hot

A pacifier on my middle finger- for the suckers

I am hoping to get a fly in a suit soon holding some jars of honey- cuz you can catch a fly with honey but you can catch more hunnys being fly

Any other ideas would be appreciated

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drippinsteezsam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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My new pun...

If you're a Muslim scholar on the side, would that be Allah carte?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goone_unit
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife asked if I was going to get new puns now that I'm a dad.

I told her the old ones just get grandfathered in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darthlythari
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you see the new puns subthread?

Reddit already.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ContentDoctor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2016
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Comment with any new puns below
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eelsnstuff
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
New Pun-centric Podcast "The Punnery" is Great! punnery.libsyn.com/
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icewolf1990
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
🚨︎ report
I asked my grandpa, β€œHow are you enjoying the new stair lift?”

Grandpa: I hate it. It’s driving me up the wall.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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Boss: How's that new glue?

Me: πŸ‘Œ

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new bikini documentary?

Its a two part series that's quite revealing.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deplorable_guido
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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I just heard there's a new Canadian strain of covid

People are showing up to the hospital eh-symptomatic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eleece
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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Got ourselves a new forklift at work...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gilleod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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Being the new guy can suck
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whippymcdumbass
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?

They had a long conversation about bark.

Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.

πŸ‘︎ 24k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amalgamxtc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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New here!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnyboneslmao
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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Everytime I buy a new house, I always spend $1,000 on the door.

That way, I always make a grand entrance.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Got a new tattoo

My wife was complaining about how i'm not spontanious or creative, unless it involves terrible jokes, so i went out and got a tattoo (my first one). But since im not very creative i had them tattoo a pic of my thermos from work. I went home all excited and showed her my new tattoo! She was really confused about it. She looked at it for awhile and when she went to touch it i yelled at her not to touch the thermos tat. I think she's leaving me now :(

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bosozokulove
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A new (sub?)subreddit for food and grocery related puns. It's new but eggcellent. reddit.com/r/storepuns/?u…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dontouchmyweenis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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A new level.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gregorybrad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I named my dog "Happy New Year"

when I call him in every night, the neighbors think I've lost my mind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChangeNew389
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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I've started a new band called "Blanket'

We're a cover band

πŸ‘︎ 993
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I'm watching that new movie with Angela Jolie...

I just don't know how she got into my house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...πŸ¦πŸ’„

It left her speechless 🀐

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B3A5TxM0DE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I had a dream that I invented a new color

But when I woke up I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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My wife bought me a new shirt for my birthday!
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timbillyosu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I once new a hooker. I asked her how she liked her job.

She said m eh. There’s a lot of coming and going.

It’s an an in and out type of job.

Edit; knew* thank you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clear_Chain_2121
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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After a Viagra salesman died from the effects of the drug, the company gifted his family a casket of a new, high-end material.

They call it mourning wood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay-overthinks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
need your help to find new multipuns

A while ago i stumbled upon this 4in1 pun:

It's a TV show featuring a motorcycle gang full of bisexual royal norsemen called Bikings

Mighty redditors can you help me to find more of this kind of multi puns?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AHitchHock
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My New Year's resolution is

1920 x 1080 p

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Davvo9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I've been using my new U2 navigation system this week and it's the worst...

The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VAOkie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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Just accepted new job at a bicycle factory

Gonna be their spokes person

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πŸ‘€︎ u/larryb78
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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Have you heard about the new corduroy pillow?

It’s making headlines!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Dick_Whitman_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What's your new years resolution?

Mine's 1920x1080

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UpstairsSwimmer69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
In light of his record with these mega-projects, Elon Musk's proposed new Miami-tunnel gives new meaning to the term

"car-pool tunnel syndrome."

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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I am shopping for a new oven.

I want to get one that comes pre-heated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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If a father in Iraq gifts his daughter a new bag, what will she say?

Thanks for the Baghdad!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alpha_Supreme
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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Anyone know any new Groundhogs Day jokes?

I keep hearing the same ones over and over and over again.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B3A5TxM0DE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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New joke from my 8 yr old

What sound does a tree make?

It barks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/artrandenthi1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."

"Stairs don't talk!"

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Scientists have discovered a new species of potato that has attained consciousness and become self aware.

They are calling them meta-taters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iMakeCrap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Self-Depreciation Society accepting new applicants

I already put myself down

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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I've taken up a new hobby. Shooting arrows at paintings.

Who knew artery could be so relaxing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lecraic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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Is this sub still active?

Haven't seen anyone post all year!

(Happy New Year from Australia everyone!)

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shauntp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a new band out called The 640 MB

But they still haven't gotten a single gig.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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Went to a new local grocery store called mommas and pappas. I bought a head of lettuce but just couldn't eat it...

Because all the leaves are brown.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BamaPaul
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I was going to buy a new pillow....

but I decided I better sleep on it first

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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I asked my grandpa, "How are you enjoying the new stair lift?"

Grandpa: It has it's ups and downs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnooRobots3440
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report

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