Breaking news:
Humpty Dumpty has fallen off the wall
Breaking News: Cornwall has been placed in Tier 4 lockdown.
Hundreds of pirates returned home to Penzance to celebrate Christmas with their families.
Apparently the Arrrr rate has increased dramatically.
Did you hear the news about the shovel? It's ground breaking. But the broom?
That really swept the nation.
Breaking World News
Germany has just warned its population of an upcoming susage and cheese shortage. They are calling it the wurst käse scenario.
That is all.
Breaking News. Total caos and panic as Germans are flooding supermarkets to buy sausages and cheese
That’s a wurst kase scenario
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
Has anyone heard the latest breaking news about the M25?
Its going all around London
Breaking news: a man has just been arrested for completing an origami course backwards..
We will update you as the situation unfolds.
Breaking News: famous cartoon character implicated in scandal!
They refused to be drawn on the matter, however.
BREAKING NEWS!
Man gets hit by a rental car.
Says, “It Hertz.”
BREAKING NEWS: A man has been spotted stealing tires from police cars
The authorities are working tirelessly to catch him!
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
BREAKING NEWS: Someone just took a picture.
More on this story as it develops.
Breaking news! Wineries across the country are forced to temporarily layoff employees.
It's being called the great Merlot furlough.
Breaking news, plice van crashes into cement mixer
A police van carrying 12 convicts crashed into a cement mixer.
Police are now looking for a dozen hardened criminals.
Breaking news: Irish officials have reported that a passenger 747 has crashed into a Belfast cemetery. Investigators have discovered over ten thousand dead bodies at the scene. One local witness at a nearby pub claimed it was a Guinness record.
To be sure. I’ll let myself out.....
Breaking News: Last night someone drilled a hole into the fence surrounding the local nudist colony.
Police are looking into it.
BREAKING NEWS: New York subway car breaks down after laptop explodes. When asked what happened, the NYPD responded:
A Dell set fire to the train
BREAKING NEWS The M6 has become blocked after a truck shed its load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes...
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery.
Breaking news: Scientists have discovered a new element that disappears and reappears at random times. They have called it the element of...
Breaking news! They're renaming the Henry brand of hoovers....
They'll be called J Edgar from now on
BREAKING NEWS
A nine year old girl has disappeared after using a moisturiser that makes you look ten years younger.
BREAKING NEWS: Dendrologists have discovered a new type of parasitic tree whose roots will eat and attack other trees.
They have been initially described as coniferous
BREAKING NEWS: A man who took an airline company to court for losing his luggage has lost his case.
Breaking news: Two minibuses carrying jazz musicians have collided on the country’s busiest road
Police say to expect long jams
Breaking news .... All the toilets from the local police station have been stolen.
A spokesman said currently the police have nothing to go on
BREAKING NEWS: The man who wrote the hokey pokey died today, according to officials they struggled getting him into the body bag because they put his right leg in, then his right leg out, in out in out they shook it all about.
BREAKING NEWS: To get a better response in Asia, Billie Dee Williams is being replaced with an virtually unknown actor.
People are already calling the character Rando Calrissian.
Breaking news: There's a riot in progress at the Kentucky Derby.
Authorities are saying it's race-related.
BREAKING NEWS: People are now smoking marijuana in record numbers, reaching an all time high.
Breaking news; Count Chocula, the Stay-Puft marshamallow man and Teddy Graham, the Teddy Graham's cookie mascot, all died in a house fire today.
Breaking news
I've just smashed a couple of plates.
Breaking news: An Army battalion led by Miss Muffet fails to reach Syria.
Apparently there were Kurds in her way.
BREAKING NEWS: scientists have discovered what might be the world's largest bedsheet. More on that as it unfolds.
Breaking news: A red ship and a blue ship have collided in the Caribbean...
...apparently, the survivors are marooned.
BREAKING NEWS: There was an explosion at the Charmin toilet paper plant in Baltimore, Maryland.
Im told no one was killed.....but many suffered from soft tissue damage.
Breaking news: An entire shipment of Viagra has been stolen.
The polices are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
Breaking news: president Trump has been in-peached
Breaking News: Vandals broke into the Origami Museum last night
Will keep you posted as the story unfolds.
Breaking News: A man has been shot with a starter gun
Police think its race related
Breaking news! Energizer Bunny arrested
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