What do you call a software update on an iPhone or and iPad?

An iPatch

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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The new Windows update deleted Microsoft Edge

We could say it's a cutting edge techology.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3sxNatuu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Quick Update: The dime actually won the presidency!

He won by ten percent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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I asked my psychiatrist for an update on my phobia of becoming a wooden pole

She said, I'll keep you posted...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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News update!

While searching for a cure to Covid-19 scientists discovered that diarrhea is hereditary. They found that it runs in your jeans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ultrinx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Personal Update...

Can't share on a Public Platform.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/babar_s
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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A good project manager makes updates.

A bad project manager makes up dates.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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My response to my wife’s update to friends and family regarding my surgery
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skhenson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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I’m hoping in the next iOS update Apple releases they include more jack o lantern emojis.

But I don’t want to count my pumpkins before they patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluemelon555
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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I just got a notification telling me that I needed to update my phone.

So I told it that I recently lost my job and I'm seeing this new woman.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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You Beta update that poster then.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crappy_off_brands
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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I can't decide if I should cut the grass or update the bathroom

I guess I'll just start with Moen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JAAIA1999
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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I hate the new Windows 10 update.

It puts me on Edge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rinat1234567890
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
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Update on pun request for Orcas, Opinions needed!

So I’ve been writing a paper about how Seaworld should not be keeping their orcas in captivity. Should the title be:

β€œSeaworld’s Porpoise; Where Happiness Tanks” or β€œThanks, but No Tanks”

Feel free to help me come up with some variation if you don’t like either. (:

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gutsandhoney
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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I was at home writing a play the other day when Microsoft Office needed an update.

It said I needed to install a new copy of Word-- but when I did, the file type was no longer compatible. I actually had to copy and paste it from a window of the old Word to a window of the new Word.

You were probably expecting a pun in this story, but there isn't one-- just a little play on Words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tribunal_Power
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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Hi Hungry, it's Dad. I have an important update for you.

Starting on the 1st of December and running until the 10th, /r/dadjokes will be self-post only. This 10 day trial is being conducted to measure the overall effect on post quality. We hope to see a reduction in posts that exist purely for karma-gaming, and an increase in posts that represent our favourite dad jokes and stories.

This is not a ban on images. You may still link to pictures within your self-post - but you will no longer receive karma for doing so. Also as a suggestion try and be witty about it, don't just post pictures as the only content in the post. If there is a story behind it (involving your dad or anyones dad) then give that more of a preference and use the picture as a supporting arm for the joke, remember to be nice and the punnier the better.

As always, we're open to hearing your thoughts on the matter - and this thread will be stickied for the 10 days so that you can pop in and let us know how you feel the trial is going.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/parin89
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
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What is a bugfix update to a candy-themed game called?

A sour patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdmWiggin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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Apple to Release New Software Update for the Visually Impaired: iPatch

>i'm ^sorry ^^i'll ^^^show ^^^^myself ^^^^^out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EstusFiend
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
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[PUNNY]LIVE UPDATE ON EVACUATION ZONES FOR **HURRICANE IRMA PSA** youtube.com/watch?v=KqRfk…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/valenteman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2017
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Jimmy Dean asked me to update their website, it's pretty easy work:

All I have to do is add a couple links.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SapperInTexas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2016
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I've started writing my updates for my team's daily meetings in the form of a nineteen-line poem with two rhymes throughout, consisting of five tercets and a quatrain.

Alas, I'm not a very good poet.

In fact, my manager told me he's never seen such a wretched scribe of scrum and villanelle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2017
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App Store update humor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zabbazooey
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2014
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Just an update guys...

Taking my date tonight to watch Up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrStranger
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2018
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πŸ‘€︎ u/javendao
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2015
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An update after the trial.

The trial has been going on for over 12 days now and we thought you guys should know what we are doing. After reading your comments and messages it looks like you guys like the sub as a self-posts only sub, so the mods have decided, after throughly discussing it, that it is a good idea to remain this way for the foreseeable future.

If you guys have any more suggestions to improve your dadjoking experience, let us know in the comments or send the mods a message.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/parin89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
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What do you call an Apple update for a pirate?

An iPatch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/everabove
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2016
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[rule changes and minor update on spam filter]

First and foremost, I've decided to add a rule 7. Please, for the love of God, have the slightest bit of creativity and do not put the punchline of the joke in the title. The reasoning being as follows.

Most importantly, putting the punchline in the title ruins the joke, unless it is a one liner!
*
Secondarily, this is a puns subreddit dedicated to wordplay, if you lack the creativity to restate something in a humorous way rather than regurgitating the punchline as the header, perhaps this isn't the subreddit for you...


#Secondarily,


I've made a few minor spam filter tweaks. Your post will be caught in the spam filter if:

  1. Your account has less than +3 combined comment and link karma.
  2. Your account is less than 7 days old.

What will happen if your post is filtered is it will automatically go into the spam queue, and I'll try to have it unfiltered in the span of a couple of minutes/hours, but sometimes I do sleep so sadly it may take longer.

My post isn't appearing! How do I fix it?

If your post is not appearing and it has not violated any of the rules, feel free to drop us a mod message and I'll get a mobile notification within 30 minutes or so of the post removal, putting it on the fast track to being restored.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KetoSaiba
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2016
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I recently moved out, and decided to text my dad a status update.

Me: "So I finally got my bed up on the frame. Not sleeping on a mattress on the floor anymore."

Dad: "Moving up in the world.....literally."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/N0vAix
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2014
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My dad's helping me update my rΓ©sumΓ©

He's in the middle of making dinner, when he asks, "So what state is your rΓ©sumΓ© in?"

Before I can answer, he gleefully interjects, "DELAWARE!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ferazel9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2016
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