Named it Sombrero.

My wife (whom is half Hispanic) eye rolled and groaned so hard when she got it. I couldn't stop laughing.

No-el no-L

I mean, we even get a new moon every month!

I have a SHOWER!!!

I got a text from her the other day that said "dad went outside to sweep up and he just referred to himself as 'sweeping beauty."'

He said "See you later, Alligator!", I started to reply with the usual "in a while, crocodile" but he beat me to it with "don't forget your toilet paper!"

So proud, he'll crank a few dad jokes put when he has children of his own!

It might be old (this is reddit!) but I never heard it before, I wish I knew that one as a kid!

An iPatch

I was a little afraid of speed bumps too, but I’m slowly getting over them!

UPDATE: Thank you so much for all the upvotes and amazing responses, fellow Dad Joke lovers. You make the world a happier place! 🤩

We could say it's a cutting edge techology.

He won by ten percent.

While searching for a cure to Covid-19 scientists discovered that diarrhea is hereditary. They found that it runs in your jeans.

She said, I'll keep you posted...

Can't share on a Public Platform.

A bad project manager makes up dates.

It was an update

Chicken sees a salad.

But you will have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.

Edit: Thanks for the gold!

We will update you as the situation unfolds.

Os-Moses.

They've updated their name reflecting their new job to Boobees.

But I don’t want to count my pumpkins before they patch.

So I told it that I recently lost my job and I'm seeing this new woman.

It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.

I immediately left my Office and tried explaining myself. Sure, on the Surface I do it often, but I think it Works. It's not just about Word play, either; my Outlook on life helps me Excel. She and I have such a great Team Foundation, I Azure you. I wanted to Exchange my thoughts with her, so we could work with OneDrive. I looked her right in the Windows of her soul, to Access the deepest parts of her heart, and told her I loved her. Completely on Edge, I awaited her answer...

PowerPoint of the story is: does anyone know of a good divorce lawyer?

I guess I'll just start with Moen

Update: Thanks for all your applications! Give /u/parin89 and I a few days to take a look and confer!
(if you haven't put your application in yet, you've still got time)

-

Greetings /r/dadjokes subscribers,

Years have passed since this sub started up, and there are now literally millions of you. Whoa.

Two million people is just two many two handle for two moderators. Especially these days, when both /u/parin89 and I have two many other responsibilities and a whole lot less time. I'm 200% sure most of you would agree that more mods are needed.

So we're looking for 5 more moderators to get involved. If you're keen to apply, read the rest of this post and answer the three questions in your comment response.

Answer these 3 questions in your reply:

1. How would you describe a dad joke?
2. Do you currently moderate any other subreddits? If yes, which ones.
3. You see a post that is not breaking the rules or reddit's posting guidelines, but is generally disliked by the community. What do you do?

Only apply if:

• You're a reasonable, fair-minded and patient human
• You're in it to keep this community a happy, friendly and safe place for other humans
• You've got previous mod experience from a decent sized community (let's say... 5k+)
• You're cool with the first few months being a trial run
• You understand that while we could use more active moderation, and would benefit from a few more rules, one of the things that makes this community great is that it's pretty open (after all, dad jokes repeat a lot and not every "repost" is necessarily an opportunistic attempt to game karma)

We'd benefit from a few practical things as well, it would be great if:

• You live in a timezone that covers off either the USA, the UK, Australia (we'd like a spread)
• You've got some automod experience
• You've got some sub-customisation experience

Don't apply if:

• You're ready to come out swinging with a power tripping ban hammer
• You're more concerned about Internet points than real people

We'll leave this stickied for a week and then come back to message a few people and make some selections.

It puts me on Edge.

It said I needed to install a new copy of Word-- but when I did, the file type was no longer compatible. I actually had to copy and paste it from a window of the old Word to a window of the new Word.

You were probably expecting a pun in this story, but there isn't one-- just a little play on Words.

So I’ve been writing a paper about how Seaworld should not be keeping their orcas in captivity. Should the title be:

“Seaworld’s Porpoise; Where Happiness Tanks” or “Thanks, but No Tanks”

Feel free to help me come up with some variation if you don’t like either. (:

That was my last post on Facebook before I deactivated my account. People thought it was funny but I wonder how long until they realize what it actually meant.

A sour patch.

Starting on the 1st of December and running until the 10th, /r/dadjokes will be self-post only. This 10 day trial is being conducted to measure the overall effect on post quality. We hope to see a reduction in posts that exist purely for karma-gaming, and an increase in posts that represent our favourite dad jokes and stories.

This is not a ban on images. You may still link to pictures within your self-post - but you will no longer receive karma for doing so. Also as a suggestion try and be witty about it, don't just post pictures as the only content in the post. If there is a story behind it (involving your dad or anyones dad) then give that more of a preference and use the picture as a supporting arm for the joke, remember to be nice and the punnier the better.

As always, we're open to hearing your thoughts on the matter - and this thread will be stickied for the 10 days so that you can pop in and let us know how you feel the trial is going.

Hey, since we (the new mods) joined the sub 1,5 months ago we've made some changes, mostly with the rules and some backend stuff. Now I also updated the icon (slightly) and the banner (on redesign and mobile), too.

What do you guys think about it?

Do you like it? ( Yes/No ). What could be improved about it?

Also, are you happy with how we're moderating the subreddit? Are we too strict with the rules or toulouse too loose? Do the rules even make sense?

We want to improve this subreddit and we need your feedback for that, so feel free to speak your mind!

You can either simply leave a comment down here in the thread or send us a message.

Looking forward to your feedback and have a nice day! :)

>i'm ^sorry ^^i'll ^^^show ^^^^myself ^^^^^out

Guess I'll have to update the driver

All I have to do is add a couple links.