Breaking news: Fire at Circus
Fire chief says itβs pretty in tents
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
Breaking news: Elton John has bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit.
βItβs a little fit bunny.β
π︎ 27
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
π︎ 22k
π
︎ Feb 05 2020
Breaking News: Cornwall has been placed in Tier 4 lockdown.
Hundreds of pirates returned home to Penzance to celebrate Christmas with their families.
Apparently the Arrrr rate has increased dramatically.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
Did you hear the news about the shovel? It's ground breaking. But the broom?
That really swept the nation.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
Breaking World News
Germany has just warned its population of an upcoming susage and cheese shortage. They are calling it the wurst kΓ€se scenario.
That is all.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
Breaking News. Total caos and panic as Germans are flooding supermarkets to buy sausages and cheese
Thatβs a wurst kase scenario
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
Breaking news: a man has just been arrested for completing an origami course backwards..
We will update you as the situation unfolds.
π︎ 187
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
Breaking news
π︎ 133
π
︎ Jun 16 2020
Breaking News: famous cartoon character implicated in scandal!
They refused to be drawn on the matter, however.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
Has anyone heard the latest breaking news about the M25?
Its going all around London
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
BREAKING NEWS: A man has been spotted stealing tires from police cars
The authorities are working tirelessly to catch him!
π︎ 16
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
BREAKING NEWS!
Man gets hit by a rental car.
Says, βIt Hertz.β
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 26 2020
BREAKING NEWS: Someone just took a picture.
More on this story as it develops.
π︎ 36
π
︎ May 17 2020
Breaking news! Wineries across the country are forced to temporarily layoff employees.
It's being called the great Merlot furlough.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 26 2020
Breaking news, plice van crashes into cement mixer
A police van carrying 12 convicts crashed into a cement mixer.
Police are now looking for a dozen hardened criminals.
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 14 2020
Breaking news: Irish officials have reported that a passenger 747 has crashed into a Belfast cemetery. Investigators have discovered over ten thousand dead bodies at the scene. One local witness at a nearby pub claimed it was a Guinness record.
To be sure. Iβll let myself out.....
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 14 2020
Breaking News: Last night someone drilled a hole into the fence surrounding the local nudist colony.
Police are looking into it.
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 08 2020
Breaking news.
π︎ 14
π
︎ May 02 2020
BREAKING NEWS: New York subway car breaks down after laptop explodes. When asked what happened, the NYPD responded:
A Dell set fire to the train
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 19 2020
BREAKING NEWS The M6 has become blocked after a truck shed its load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes...
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 26 2020
Breaking news: Scientists have discovered a new element that disappears and reappears at random times. They have called it the element of...
π︎ 68
π
︎ Oct 22 2019
Breaking news! They're renaming the Henry brand of hoovers....
They'll be called J Edgar from now on
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 21 2020
Breaking news?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 12 2019
BREAKING NEWS
A nine year old girl has disappeared after using a moisturiser that makes you look ten years younger.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 21 2020
BREAKING NEWS: Dendrologists have discovered a new type of parasitic tree whose roots will eat and attack other trees.
They have been initially described as coniferous
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 06 2020
BREAKING NEWS: A man who took an airline company to court for losing his luggage has lost his case.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 13 2019
Breaking news .... All the toilets from the local police station have been stolen.
A spokesman said currently the police have nothing to go on
π︎ 21
π
︎ Sep 16 2019
Breaking news: Two minibuses carrying jazz musicians have collided on the countryβs busiest road
Police say to expect long jams
π︎ 25
π
︎ Oct 28 2019
Breaking news: There's a riot in progress at the Kentucky Derby.
Authorities are saying it's race-related.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 03 2019
BREAKING NEWS: The man who wrote the hokey pokey died today, according to officials they struggled getting him into the body bag because they put his right leg in, then his right leg out, in out in out they shook it all about.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
BREAKING NEWS: People are now smoking marijuana in record numbers, reaching an all time high.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Aug 06 2019
BREAKING NEWS: To get a better response in Asia, Billie Dee Williams is being replaced with an virtually unknown actor.
People are already calling the character Rando Calrissian.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 14 2019
BREAKING NEWS: scientists have discovered what might be the world's largest bedsheet. More on that as it unfolds.
π︎ 59
π
︎ Jan 01 2019
Breaking news; Count Chocula, the Stay-Puft marshamallow man and Teddy Graham, the Teddy Graham's cookie mascot, all died in a house fire today.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
Breaking news: A red ship and a blue ship have collided in the Caribbean...
...apparently, the survivors are marooned.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Feb 08 2017
Breaking news: An Army battalion led by Miss Muffet fails to reach Syria.
Apparently there were Kurds in her way.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 25 2019
Breaking news
I've just smashed a couple of plates.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 11 2019
BREAKING NEWS: There was an explosion at the Charmin toilet paper plant in Baltimore, Maryland.
Im told no one was killed.....but many suffered from soft tissue damage.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 13 2019
Breaking news: An entire shipment of Viagra has been stolen.
The polices are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
π︎ 104
π
︎ Jul 27 2018
Breaking news: president Trump has been in-peached
π︎ 37
π
︎ Jan 04 2019
Breaking News: Vandals broke into the Origami Museum last night
Will keep you posted as the story unfolds.
π︎ 62
π
︎ Oct 22 2018
Breaking News: A man has been shot with a starter gun
Police think its race related
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 06 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.