Breaking news: Fire at Circus

Fire chief says it’s pretty in tents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: Elton John has bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit.

β€œIt’s a little fit bunny.”

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..

In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti

πŸ‘︎ 22k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlySupaFly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking News: Cornwall has been placed in Tier 4 lockdown.

Hundreds of pirates returned home to Penzance to celebrate Christmas with their families.

Apparently the Arrrr rate has increased dramatically.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1963Jan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the news about the shovel? It's ground breaking. But the broom?

That really swept the nation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking World News

Germany has just warned its population of an upcoming susage and cheese shortage. They are calling it the wurst kΓ€se scenario.

That is all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingOfCurl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking News. Total caos and panic as Germans are flooding supermarkets to buy sausages and cheese

That’s a wurst kase scenario

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fabio2598
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: a man has just been arrested for completing an origami course backwards..

We will update you as the situation unfolds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Micktheprivz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gerb99meister
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking News: famous cartoon character implicated in scandal!

They refused to be drawn on the matter, however.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dashie1985
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Has anyone heard the latest breaking news about the M25?

Its going all around London

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: A man has been spotted stealing tires from police cars

The authorities are working tirelessly to catch him!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucaTheDevilCat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS!

Man gets hit by a rental car.

Says, β€œIt Hertz.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board

Whoops, wrong sub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zekesnack
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: Someone just took a picture.

More on this story as it develops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dashie1985
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news! Wineries across the country are forced to temporarily layoff employees.

It's being called the great Merlot furlough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunOverdose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news, plice van crashes into cement mixer

A police van carrying 12 convicts crashed into a cement mixer.

Police are now looking for a dozen hardened criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: Irish officials have reported that a passenger 747 has crashed into a Belfast cemetery. Investigators have discovered over ten thousand dead bodies at the scene. One local witness at a nearby pub claimed it was a Guinness record.

To be sure. I’ll let myself out.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greggy_rabs
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking News: Last night someone drilled a hole into the fence surrounding the local nudist colony.

Police are looking into it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterCrispy
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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Breaking news.

n e w s .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnreese421
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: New York subway car breaks down after laptop explodes. When asked what happened, the NYPD responded:

A Dell set fire to the train

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πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS The M6 has become blocked after a truck shed its load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes...

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: Scientists have discovered a new element that disappears and reappears at random times. They have called it the element of...

SURPRISE!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news! They're renaming the Henry brand of hoovers....

They'll be called J Edgar from now on

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news?

You better fix it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ketchuppie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS

A nine year old girl has disappeared after using a moisturiser that makes you look ten years younger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mi88ir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: Dendrologists have discovered a new type of parasitic tree whose roots will eat and attack other trees.

They have been initially described as coniferous

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sanjiroku
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: A man who took an airline company to court for losing his luggage has lost his case.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news .... All the toilets from the local police station have been stolen.

A spokesman said currently the police have nothing to go on

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zoebread
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: Two minibuses carrying jazz musicians have collided on the country’s busiest road

Police say to expect long jams

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: There's a riot in progress at the Kentucky Derby.

Authorities are saying it's race-related.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: The man who wrote the hokey pokey died today, according to officials they struggled getting him into the body bag because they put his right leg in, then his right leg out, in out in out they shook it all about.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: People are now smoking marijuana in record numbers, reaching an all time high.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeepguy797
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: To get a better response in Asia, Billie Dee Williams is being replaced with an virtually unknown actor.

People are already calling the character Rando Calrissian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: scientists have discovered what might be the world's largest bedsheet. More on that as it unfolds.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robot-Downey-Jr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news; Count Chocula, the Stay-Puft marshamallow man and Teddy Graham, the Teddy Graham's cookie mascot, all died in a house fire today.

S'more to come at 21.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: A red ship and a blue ship have collided in the Caribbean...

...apparently, the survivors are marooned.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkay1911
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: An Army battalion led by Miss Muffet fails to reach Syria.

Apparently there were Kurds in her way.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news

I've just smashed a couple of plates.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: There was an explosion at the Charmin toilet paper plant in Baltimore, Maryland.

Im told no one was killed.....but many suffered from soft tissue damage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeepguy797
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: An entire shipment of Viagra has been stolen.

The polices are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: president Trump has been in-peached
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πŸ‘€︎ u/miraaaaaak123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking News: Vandals broke into the Origami Museum last night

Will keep you posted as the story unfolds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/motleyblondie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Breaking News: A man has been shot with a starter gun

Police think its race related

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crocharlie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report

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