My FIL when leaving the house with MIL, "You drive and I'll nag"

He then looks at me and says "marital navigation, Nagigation".

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Prime__Number
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2016
🚨︎ report
Ok so my mum nags me a lot

So my mum nags me a lot and before we were going out she told me to put my socks on and i got pissed off so i said "you don't need to tell me to put my fucking socks on". then my dad comes out with "no just put your regular socks on.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ebutleeeee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2016
🚨︎ report
What did the cattle-dog say to the nagging sheep?

I herd you!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheese_wizard
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad keeps nagging me on how to grow up

I keep telling him it’s getting old

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snowjoggs
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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A nagging wife yelling at her husband "I would rather married Satan than marrying you"

Husband, "legally a brother and sister can't get married"

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mougy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I was in a cab one time and got curious. I asked the cabbie if he liked his job. He said, β€œOh sure. I’m out of the house, away from my nagging wife and I don’t have anyone telling me what to do.”

I told him, β€œTurn right at the next corner.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't want to observe the period from Ash Wednesday to Easter again, but did so to stop my girlfriend's constant nagging...

I re-Lent-ed

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Canadian horse say to its nagging friend?

Don't be an eh sayer

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/me-no-smart
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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My wife started nagging me again about my obsession with Status Quo

I thought "here we gooooOOOOO"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kratoski
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A tired farmer was successfully hiding among his crops to avoid his nagging wife.

You could say he was out standing in his field

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife wouldn't stop nagging me about not helping cook the chicken on the grill

So I angrily got up and flipped the bird

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackymon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the composer say to his nagging wife?

Don't worry, I'll Handel it and be right Bach!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pmbasehore
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife keeps nagging me to stop eating doughnuts...

We’ve all beignet before, amiright?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simmsnation
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I just realized nothing starts with "n" and ends with "g"

Go ahead, prove me wrong

πŸ‘︎ 361
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Photoshoppin_Boi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Pasture
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the Roman feel when he cannibalized his nagging wife?

Glad-he-ater

πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldetownjim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2015
🚨︎ report
My boss kept nagging me so I told him, β€œLay off!”

My wife was not happy when I got home and told her I needed to start job hunting

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puppyball
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report
If you're constantly nagging a stranger asking him to beat up your donkey...

You're only looking to get your ass kicked.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/extra-dopamine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the guy whose friends kept nagging him to donate a preposition?

In the end, he gave in.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/omega697
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2016
🚨︎ report
Lost If Found:

Water-tight bundles of untraceable drug-dealer cash.

Lost somewhere on the beach between West Palm Beach and Nag's Head, NC.

Also, loose pirate treasure of gold or silver.

Sentimental value. Small reward offered.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a hippie's favorite holiday beverage?

Egg Nag Champa.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PippinTheCat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2016
🚨︎ report
Explaining how times have changed.

After getting nagged for swearing I say "Times have changed." My dad replies with "You're right, it's daylight savings."

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
🚨︎ report
Just got dad joked by Google

Googled anagram and Google asked "Did you mean nag a ram?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Generic_Cleric
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2015
🚨︎ report
So my dad joked my mum...

My dad is a night owl and my mum is an early bird, meaning he has a good few hours to plot and scheme his dadjokes...

Well the other evening, he decided to scare the living daylights out of my mum by drawing a face on a melon, stuffing it in a hoodie with rubber-gloves, shoes and jeans and posed it in our morning room.

Now my mum gets up real early, and walks around the house in a grumpy daze, grumbling, scratching and squinting and whatnot with a grim face looking for something to nag about, so you can imagine the sheer pride he (probably) felt wrapped up in bed with that dumb dadjoke grin from his "Hilarious prank", to hear a loud "AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" coming from across the hall.

Needless to say i'm pretty sure she found something to nag about that morning.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacquamarine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Today my dad asked, "what does the mom say"

He then said "nag nag nag nagnag nag nag nagnag nag"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaliforniaRyan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2013
🚨︎ report
Somebody asked why I got a new dishwasher.

I replied "The old one was nagging me too much"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chispatr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2015
🚨︎ report
Cracked a dad joke on the most appropriate day: my dad's birthday

Preface: My dad, mom, and I went out to eat mexican food. Like we usually do, we order a huge platter of nachos and demolish the whole thing. Surely we are full even before our main course arrives. We all ordered combination platters that consisted of, burritos, enchiladas, and tacos which were overflowing with lettuce that no one except for my mom wanted to eat. My mom kept on nagging my dad and I to eat the lettuce so that it would lighten us up and make us feel less full:

Mom (for the 10th time): You boys should eat your lettuce. Come on now.

Me: Mom lettuce be!

Immediately my mom cringed and groaned, while my dad, after repeating the joke, gave a hearty chuckle.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadsspaghetti
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Nothing starts with an N and ends with a G.

Change my mind.

πŸ‘︎ 165
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacobwyc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I just realised something

Nothing actually starts with an N and ends with a G.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PupuTheToaster
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report

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