Sales are down, so my boss asked why the greeting cards aren't moving

I told him it's because they are stationary

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to a wedding that was so moving everyone was crying.

Even the cake was in tiers.

πŸ‘︎ 387
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign the other day, "we sell moving boxes"

I guess they don't sell stationery boxes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pLeThOrAx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I was thinking of the benefits of moving to Switzerland

The flag is a big plus

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you say when your stationary bin starts moving?

Bingo!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
There are many perks to moving to Switzerland...

The flag is a real plus.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/george_what
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I have designed a way to combine cell phone and moving stair technologies. Want to know what it’s called?

Tellulater.

I had to pull of the road to post this cause I’ve been laughing at myself for the last 5 miles.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking of opening a bar where everyone insults everyone else while moving to the music...

I think my idea of social diss dancing would go over well!

πŸ‘︎ 154
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The other day I saw a large number of bread rolls moving rhythmically to music.

They were doing it in a-bun-dance.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keychainoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother dug a hole in the ground, filled it with water then designed a moving staircase that was powered by it.

That well escalated quickly!

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I like all Ghibli movies, except for Howl's Moving Castle.

It got old quickly.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shy_Gal_Skye
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Since moving to Finland I’ve become addicted to winter sports

It started off with sledging which has finally lead to ski jumping. It’s a real slippery slope

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stiltonfondu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Thinking about moving to Switzerland.

Coming up with pros and cons. To start out, the flag is a big plus...

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFishmanau
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The inventor of Hard and Shoulders shampoo died. At the funeral, his wife gave a 20 minute moving eulogy...

There wasn't a dry scalp in the place!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Simba was moving slowly so I told him

To mufasa

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rafaelngash
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Moving up in the world.
πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-NuclearChicken-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My hair used to be black, and now every day more white hairs keeps moving in. This makes me angry, and it makes me sad.

My hair is getting gentrified, and soon, I won't be able to afford it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm not happy because I have to work at the museum tonight moving suits of armor.

I hate knight shifts.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is everyone moving to Switzerland?!

... I'm not too sure either but I hear the flag is a big Plus.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kburd907
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Which Country Music Singer's name do you say when you're moving furniture past someone?

Dolly Pardon.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThumbFuNinja
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
We were moving some boxes to my son's car, when he dropped a Scrabble game and the letters scattered everywhere. So I asked him...

"What's the word on the street?!"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I am moving to mexico

Tijuana know why?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call moving herbs?

A thyme traveller.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gyrating_Tautle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The Amish have begun moving to New England.

They will be called Mainennites.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insanechef58
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Roommate: If you keep stealing all my kitchen utensils than I'm moving out!

Me: That's a whisk I'm willing to take.

πŸ‘︎ 584
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thefullerexpress
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
After the contractor did a poor job installing the moving stairs in our office building my boss threw him down the steps.

That escalated quickly.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
HEADLINE: Vermont man arrested for throwing pickle from moving vehicle, striking a highway worker...

It wasn't a Vlasic case of road rage, but it's still Claussen quite a commotion.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Swimming with a dolphin is moving with a porpoise
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arconyx
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My local Italian restaurant is moving to Italy

They are moving to greener pasta.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Marvelite222
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The engineer installed a motor too powerfull in the moving stairway

It escalated very quickly.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midy-dk
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
As soon as space travel is possible, I’m moving from the Milky Way to the Soymilky Way galaxy

I’m galactose intolerant

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BillowyWave5228
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My farmer friend is moving, so he had to give up his horses for adoption.

They are now being raised in a stable environment.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: β€œSon, your mother and I are thinking about moving to a square island.”

Son: β€œWow really? Can I come too?”

Dad: β€œFour shore!”

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/misplacedfreckles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Moving my family to a wetland partially covered with water has been overwhelming...

I've been swamped!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get a pig moving in Spain?

You say Jamon!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Haha get it because its moving
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/juliaisokay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend opened a tailor shop that also is a moving service...

She hems and hauls.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Rick Astley played β€˜Never gonna give you up’ while rapidly moving downhill sideways

It’s called Rick Rolling

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Assfrontation
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Fuck it, I’m moving to France!

I got nothing Toulouse

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
This is such a moving message
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoboLion-2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Moving Down South

I have to get a U-'Aul

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the kitten suddenly stop moving?

It was on PAWS!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MassiveMastiff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Since moving to Seattle I'm starting to like the rain.

I think I've been rainwashed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aguscerdo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a slow moving poop?

A turdle.

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigstinky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I was thinking about moving to Switzerland...

And I thought that the flag was a big plus.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Simba was moving too slow so..

I told him to Mufasa

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/We_r_Ven0m
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm annoyed because I had to work at the museum tonight moving suits of armour.

I hate knight shifts.

πŸ‘︎ 104
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report

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