I quit my job as the Pro at the local Miniature Golf course...

... I found the work oft-putting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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A man holding several miniature pigs walks into a bar.

"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"

The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.

"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender reaches for some larger mugs, but as he places them next to the cups, it becomes obvious that even these will be too small for the pigs.

Seeing the man struggle to continue holding them, the bartender runs to the kitchen for help.

A cook emerges, holding several large measuring cups. "Sorry, I just used these to make a batch of cheese dip, but they're all yours!"

The man carefully plops each pig into its respective gooey yellow cup.

Arms exhausted, breathing heavily, he drops into a stool at the end of the bar, between his tiny friends and a beautiful girl.

He glances her way, gasping coyly. "Hey...I'm...Tom."

She smiles, having watched the whole ordeal. "Hi Tom, I'm Liz. And if you don't mind me asking..." she laughs, looking over his shoulder, "what was that all about?"

He glances back at the bar. "Yeah...sorry," he pants. "I wanted...to impress you, but...it turned out to be...a pretty cheesy...pig-cup line."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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I am going to decorate my next christmas tree with miniature tnt sticks instead of candy canes

Oh tannen-bomb oh tannen-bomb...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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A scientist created a miniature bomb

When it was done, he didnt know how to activate it, so he put it under a microscope

Blew up in his face

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombiesAtHome
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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I considered buying miniature teabags

But they were a little steep

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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I put a miniature black hole in my house

It really brings the family together

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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A cousin of mine is in charge of distribution for this big pickle company; he was freaking out over the weekend after sending only miniature pickle chips to a restaurant that asked for full sized ones..

They told him it wasn't a big dill, though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Y33T-HAW
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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What do cows call miniature guitars?

Moo-kulele

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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I’ve recently designed a miniature IoT smart kitchen implement for straining vegetables. It’s a source of much discussion and argument between people in the culinary world.

You could say my creation is a little device-seive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hairyfacedhooman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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An accident at the local miniature horse factory caused a tiny horse to get stuck on a worker's rectum.

Doctors describe his condition as(s) stable.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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I had to give up on my idea to create a miniature flamethrower

It was burning a hole in my pocket

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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What do you call a building that makes average quality miniatures of depressed letters?

A "Sad S Factory".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_Jingle_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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My friend asked me what I thought about his miniature windmill...

I told him, β€œNot a huge fan.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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I give you a miniature cabinet full of Seeshells
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imaginary_name
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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I brought a miniature stool to my doctors appointment.

I still don't know why he wanted a stool sample.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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What do you call a miniature Yoda?

A Toyota.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nstuchlik
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
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This past weekend I spent several hours making intricate little miniature watches for each of my fingers.

That's when I realized I had too much time on my hands.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/virtual_no_body
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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My wife thought I was mad because the only birthday gift I received was this comically miniature playing cards.

It wasn’t a big deal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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Back in Taiwan, I had a pair science project to make a miniature biplane. His last name was the same as mine.

And in the end, two Wongs made a Wright.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2017
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Why did the cowboy adopt a miniature dachshund?

Because he wanted to get a long lil doggie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickinkyiv
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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If a miniature ship has a 3ft mast..

Could you call that a yard sail?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bold_Archaic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2017
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Why did the miniature pony drink cough medicine?

because it was a little horse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unfence
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2016
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