I told my daughter, β€œGo to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, β€œWhat’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."

"It’s pasture bedtime!”

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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I mean... ;)
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/parth_shresth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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If you spell the words β€œAbsolutely Nothing” backwards, you get β€œGnihton Yletulosba,” which ironically means...

Absolutely nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealTripleH
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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I don't mean to brag..

but cashier's are always checking me out.

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/champion-13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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I mean, he is right though
πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plonk1234
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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His son asked him β€œWhat does it mean to be a Man?”...

He replied: A man is someone who is responsible and takes care of his family.”

Son: I hope one day I grow up to be a man just like Mom!

πŸ‘︎ 875
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buddhabitch11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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My son asked me, β€œWhat does dΓ©jΓ  vu mean?”

I said, β€œI have a feeling you asked me this before.”

πŸ‘︎ 164
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I mean. He’s not wrong
πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"

She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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I told my son to go find out what "nada" means in english

But he came back with nothing

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobbyTheDude
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day.

And the box said 2-4 years.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ddodd69
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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I hadn’t used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I don’t mean to brag but this is the single greatest post I’ve ever made on reddit.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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I've noticed that a lot of math teachers don't want to be mean...

They strive to be above average.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Belscnickle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Son: What does bargain mean?

Dad: Well, it means a great deal, actually…

πŸ‘︎ 476
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daviscojokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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Dad: β€œHow are your grades, son?” Son: β€œThey’re underwater, Dad.” Dad: β€œWhat do you mean, underwater?”

Son: β€œThey’re below C level”

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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My son asked me what does gay mean

Me: it's means being happy

Son: so are you gay dad?

Me: no son, I have an wife

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CAUSTIC101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you mean, marsupials are happy?

Yeah man, they are joeyfull!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taken-_-already
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Pre- means before. Post- means after. To use both prefixes together,

...would be preposterous

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Huey, Dewey, and Louie's Irish uncle that makes a mean burger

Mcdonald

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wushock4
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
After seeing a dead bird I had to tell my 4 year old what it means.

I said it Δ­t : pro. Used to refer to that one previously mentioned. Used of a nonhuman entity; an animate being whose sex is unspecified, unknown, or irrelevant; a group of objects or individuals; an action; or an abstraction.

pro. Used as the subject of an impersonal verb.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dumbstupidhuman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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I mean a deaf person with one arm the other day...

The conversation was pretty one-sided.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kurik-P-DuBs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
With Texas covered in snow, does that mean...

its Alamo'd?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Romnonaldao
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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Found at my local Trader Joe’s.... I mean come on... you laughed... Right?!
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karentorres__
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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Well I mean I would be mad...
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If the process of decaffeinating coffee beans means being doused in formaldehyde...

Does that make them Coffinated?

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardwithablog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of running means you will have to walk?

Running out of gas

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if she’d had her medicine yet.

My daughter said yes, and I replied, β€œSo you’re de-Claritin that you’ve had it already?”

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpcombs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
In a recent poll people were asked what they thought Γ· means

The result was divided.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigfootNick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Me: Can you tell me what β€˜pourquoiβ€˜ means? Wife: β€šwhyβ€˜

Me: because I really want to know

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karate-dad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
An Honest Werewolf : "What do you mean? I am not a werewolf"

A Random Seer : "Either you are lying or you are an unawerewolf"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kurokami_Yohane
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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A child with a speech impediment is dressed as a pirate. A man asks what are you. He says he is a birate. You mean a pirate? Yes a birate. Oh well then where are your buccaneers?

On each side of my buckin head you buckin idiot!!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/durangozac
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Q from our Fishkeeping Group: What does it mean if my fish stays at the bottom of the tank?

A: Maybe it's feeling a bit low...

(Got me a screenshot of my epic slayage to prove it too! https://i.imgur.com/FPCvglr.png )

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/quintinza
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Are you sure you know what gaslighting means?

I'm not sure if you do

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Remerdy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
A mean crook going down stairs =

A condescending con, descending.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
My maths teacher called me average yesterday. How MEAN...
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shivraj234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I mean technically
πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/its_boogeyman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What does IDK mean ?

Apparently everyone I ask doesn’t know.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlovenianGregor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Does anyone know what LGBTQ means?

No one is giving me a straight answer

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathyDre
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been asking people what LGBTQ means

Nobody will give me a straight answer.

πŸ‘︎ 299
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingdragon2430
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Every time I ask my son what a new phrase means, he tells me to google it.

Kids these days have a lot of slang for a killer clown movie.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J3fbr0nd0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The average person is really mean
πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/o0oo00oo0o
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t mean to brag...

but cashiers are always checking me out

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/larryb78
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I don't mean to brag, but...

cashiers are always checking me out.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vladipus223
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I don’t mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...

and the box said 2-4 years!

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't mean to brag

But the cashier's are always checking me out

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report

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