A list of puns related to "MICS"
pickitup pickitup pickitup!
He then said, βwhat about a computer bob or a computer Phil? How about a computer dan?β
Thatβs the last time I do stand-up!
1,2....1,2.....
You're my one two, one two
My wife, in-laws and I have a guest family on board our boat, fishing. It's part of a charity event.
Someone comes over the radio, "someone has a hot mic," meaning someones radio is unintentionally broadcasting.
I sprang into my action, because well, my name is Mike.
I looked at my wife who's across the boat, and so everyone can hear, "You have a hot Mike!"
My wife gave me a dirty look, my father-in-lawβ laughed. Success.
Me: "This next song was written for two people, but since my partner couldn't make it I'll just have to duet alone."
Crowd: collective groan
The entire crowd rolled their eyes together, but at least I played well!
1-2, 1-2 ....1-4??
(12/12/14)
Because he doesn't want to be spotted.
I turn to her and say βI bet he donβt have the guts to do that againβ
Edit: holy shit yβall this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy
Thank you for your participation.
I'm doing a Mike Check.
βbefore I start, I would like to check if my mic is working..β βif your name is Michael, please stand upβ
then a couple of guys stand up and he goes
βthat concludes my mike checkβ
(I saw this tweet and just had to share it!) Click here for credit
But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.
Was trying to figure out how to use her new iPhone to shoot photos at night using night mode. She gave me the phone and said, here figure this out. I took the phone and pushed one button, and voila, night mode. She looks at me at this point and says, how did you know that would work? My reply...
I donβt know, I was just taking a shot in the dark.
Mic drop.
Current events make it less attractive.
All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop
Pun in, ten dead
Edit: The police quickly arrived at the scene, surrounding the bar. The pun was trapped in the bar but it decided to hold on and have a shoot out with the police instead of surrendering. Sadly, the pun was shot. He was pun out dead at the scene.
Edit: Nobody attended the puns funeral, they all at ten ded.
-Mic drop-
Edit: Wasnβt that a killer pun?
Edit: Unfortunately I told about 10 puns before this one. Did any of them land? No. No pun in ten did.
(Credit To killsforsporks and TLo137 for the last 2 edits)
I have a Czech one too...
Mic drop
I guess it's true what they say: Great mimes sink a mic.
It's eh.
I said, 'Sure.'
She sighed.
'I saw you and your ex studying Pythagoras' theorem in the library.'
'Oh, you did?' I asked.
She paused. 'So, how do you explain that?'
'Easily,' I replied. 'It's when the square on the hypotenuse of a right-angled triangle is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides.'
But his mic do.
Wednesday is open mic night.
My fiancee and I just found out there is asbestos in our apartment. My mom texted me and asked how I was doing after she found out. I texted back "were doing asbestos we can."
drops mic exits stage left
Edit: corrected spelling of fiancee because I am a heterosexual male.
Edit: holy shit this thread is spreading like cancer.
No bamboozle.
I hope this is the proper venue for this post. If not, feel free to delete me.
This came from when I was doing production lighting. Every once in a while during concert setup the audio tech would need help with mic check. Now the "real" audio guys would always just stand there going "check check check one two". Me being not a real audio guy wanted to have more fun than that, so I would always do "pages" as if I was paging people. But I would use these assumed names. Here is a partial list of names I would use. If you look closely you might notice a familiar u/name or two.
Paging Mister Lobbla β¦ Mister Bob Lobbla (from Arrested Development)
Paging Mister Vitoomey β¦ Mister Lee Vitoomey
Paging Mister Frescoe β¦ Mister Al Frescoe
Paging Miss Haivure β¦ Miss Bee Haivure
Paging Miss Mitch β¦ Miss Miranda Mitch (my random itch - from The Mick?)
Paging Miss Dactyl β¦ Miss Tara Dactyl
Paging Miss Falactec β¦ Miss Anna Falactec
Paging Miss Tonin β¦ Miss Sarah Tonin
Paging Mister Zinette β¦ Mister Ray Zinnette
Paging Mister Reader β¦ Mister Chip Reader
Paging Miss Kiaki β¦ Miss Sue Kiaki
Paging Mister Doffish β¦ Mister Stan Doffish
Paging Mister Debank β¦ Mister Robin Debank
Paging Mister Festo β¦ Mister Manny Festo
Paging Mister Ifornia β¦ Mister Cal Ifornia
Paging Mister Itosis β¦ Mister Hal Itosis
Paging Mister Saroni β¦ Mister Rye Saroni
Paging Mister Nasium β¦ Mister Jim Nasium
Paging Mister Aroon β¦ Mister Mac Aroon
Paging Miss Ester β¦ Miss Polly Ester
Paging Miss Rexia β¦ Miss Anna Rexia
Paging Mister Zapan β¦ Mister Pete Zapan
Paging Mister Tenuff β¦ Mister Jess Tenuff
Paging Miss Eous β¦ Miss Elaine Eous
Paging Mister Aroni β¦ Mister Mac Aroni
Paging Mister Preneur β¦ Mister Andre Preneur
Paging Mister Cetera β¦ Mister Ed Cetera
Paging Mr. Zapple β¦ Mr. Adam Zapple
Paging Mr. Bino β¦ Mr. Al Bino
Paging Miss Slapter β¦ Miss Ida Slapter
Paging Miss Talia β¦ Miss Jenna Talia
Paging Mr. Rafone β¦ Mr. Mike Rafone
Paging Mr. Zark β¦ Mr. Noah Zark
Paging Miss Yoki β¦ Miss Carey Yoki
Paging Mr. Foolery β¦ Mr. Tom Foolery
Paging Mr. Atric β¦ Mr. Jerry Atric
Paging Mr. Duttank β¦ Mr. Phillip Duttank
Paging Mr. Anoma β¦ Mr. Mel Anoma
Paging Mister Jass β¦ Mr. Hugh Jass
Paging Mr. Onella β¦ Mr. Sam Onella
Paging Mr. Maphobe β¦ Mr. Jer Maphobe
Paging Mr. Packa β¦ Mr. Al Packa
Paging Mister Dente β¦ Mister Al Dente
Paging Miss Conda β¦ Miss Anna Conda
Paging Miss Sharalike β¦ Miss Sharon Sharalike
Paging Miss Bellum β¦ Miss Sarah Bellum
Paging Miss Mennopey β¦ Miss
... keep reading on reddit β‘A boom mic.
Last night my dad fell down the stairs and broke his hip. Mom took him to the ER and I met them there. The nurse comes in to ask what happen and my dad explained he tripped going up the stairs. Nurse tries to joke that βstairs are jinky fellas always trying to trip peopleβ to which I relied βyup, canβt trust βum, they are always up to somethingβ.
-mic drop
Mic.
On the other side was someone doing the same, and behind me was a person on a full drum kit. In the car in front was a guy with a mic screaming out some kind of song. None of the cars were moving, they were all just rocking out playing music. It was at that moment that I realised I was stuck in the middle of a traffic jam.
Quattro Cinco.
Drops mic
An ISIS-icle
But it's exhausting.
drops mic
Here is the joke: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. Heβs not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911. βMy friend is dead! What should I do?β The operator replies, βCalm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that heβs dead.β Thereβs a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, βOk, now what?ββ
Here is the article to back it up: http://www.urbo.com/content/the-worlds-funniest-joke-according-to-science
Insert Mic Drop
So, this just happened last night. My son (11 years old, and a true lover of dad jokes) is not presently speaking to me.
After i just finished cutting an avocado in two... Me: Shall we "halve" some avocado with dinner tonight? Huh? Huh? (Dramatically pointing to the cut produce in Vanna White style.) Son: (Unimpressed). I might take a little. Me: You might? I say you "halve two!" (Again gesturing dramatically to the two halves.) Son: groan That was TERRIBLE... But you score extra points for a double pun. Me: Av-a-cad-o million more where those came from. Mic Drop
I have a Czech one too.
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