Every summer I get bit by one thousand and twenty four bugs.
My wife told me to get over it cause it was just one byte.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
What’s with all the talk about horny bugs in Washington D.C.?
I keep hearing about the capital insect erection.
Now that I’m officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.
I turn to her and say “I bet he don’t have the guts to do that again”
Edit: holy shit y’all this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy
What do you call a bug that can do math
There as to be a bug in this logic
What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield?
I watched a Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay video and there were lots of bugs in it.
There was a bug where an NPC in the game just phases through a door like there’s nothing right there.
Guess that’s what you get when watching a walkthrough gameplay video.
A bug hit my windshield on the way to work this morning
I said “I bet you don’t have the guts to do that again”
Did you hear about the pregnant bed-bug?
It's having babies in the spring.
What do you call a dessert that attracts bugs?
What’s the last thing through a bugs mind when he hits your cars windshield?
Have you heard of the pregnant bed bug??
She’s going to have her baby in the spring!
I've finally given up on finding a name for my window coverings made from bug spray...
I call the search Off! It's curtains for that quest!
What did Bugs Bunny say when the doctor asked him how he should be contacted with his test results?
What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
What is it called when a bug ends its own life?
Just don't bug them anymore
Why have you never seen ants or bugs going to church?
I heard a large oil company is making fuel out of bug urine...
Did you all hear about the drug bust at the bug spray factory?
Police said it was the greatest Raid ever!
What kind of web developers DO like bugs?
My son came up to me and said that a bug was flying around his room, my wife said that he just imagined it.
I said that is justaflyable.
How do you make the bugs in your yard pay rent?
My wife is teaching my little ones (3/1) about bugs so they wrote “Ant” in honey on a piece of paper to attract them and set it out on the deck. She was sad When we went out to check later that day, only one was there.
You should have pluralized it and more would have shown up!
My wife said the best way to deal with bugs in the kitchen is to just leave them alone.
Personally I think that is just ignore ants.
Pixar Presents 'A Bug's Strife'
It’s tough to come up with a new brand of bug spray.
You always have to start from scratch.
Did you hear about the bug activist who was happy he was fired?
He was for Termite Nation.
Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love?
They're getting married in the spring!
Any recommendations on a bug spray?
It used to bug me that all my clocks only displayed hours and minutes.
Then someone told me about second-hand stores!
From my son: What’s the scariest bug?
Boo Bees!
I can’t wait to tell his first girlfriend he’s afraid of them.
Bug thoughts
What is the last thing to go through a flies mind when it hits a cars windshield?
It's bum.
I stayed at a hotel last night and came home with bed bugs!
"Dad, are bugs good to eat?"
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Who says, "Bugs, you stole my hearing aids?! You're despicable!"
I'm really nervous about this bug-eating contest
I've got butterflies in my stomach.
Who knew bugs could bee this funny?
How do bugs say good morning?
People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me beyond words
I need help with bug puns.
I need insect puns for the the name of a company who makes food out of edible bugs. It's a packaging project for a graphic design class. I think I'm going with trail mix and the three bugs I'm using are a beetle, cicada, and horn worm. If that helps at all. I would be eternally grateful!!
What did the windshield wiper say to the bug?
I bet you don’t have the guts to do that again
Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love?
They're getting married in the spring.
A bug hit my windshield today...
I bet he wont have the guts to do that again.
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