Every summer I get bit by one thousand and twenty four bugs.

My wife told me to get over it cause it was just one byte.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaosDragoon89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"

"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.

"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.

"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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What’s with all the talk about horny bugs in Washington D.C.?

I keep hearing about the capital insect erection.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ukimeouch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Now that I’m officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.

I turn to her and say β€œI bet he don’t have the guts to do that again”

Edit: holy shit y’all this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnpowers99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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What do you call a bug that can do math

A arithme-tick

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimilarThought9
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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There as to be a bug in this logic
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield?

Its ass.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lemonlimeaardvark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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I watched a Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay video and there were lots of bugs in it.

There was a bug where an NPC in the game just phases through a door like there’s nothing right there.

Guess that’s what you get when watching a walkthrough gameplay video.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sudoku12
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A bug hit my windshield on the way to work this morning

I said β€œI bet you don’t have the guts to do that again”

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTombstoneswe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the pregnant bed-bug?

It's having babies in the spring.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckinWimp87
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dessert that attracts bugs?

A moussequito

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hot_Potato_MC
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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What’s the last thing through a bugs mind when he hits your cars windshield?

His butt

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matty_Boosie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the pregnant bed bug??

She’s going to have her baby in the spring!

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/balkso
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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I've finally given up on finding a name for my window coverings made from bug spray...

I call the search Off! It's curtains for that quest!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Bugs Bunny say when the doctor asked him how he should be contacted with his test results?

WhatsApp doc.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?

Dynomites

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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What is it called when a bug ends its own life?

Insecticide.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/passionate_apathy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Just don't bug them anymore
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sycamore27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Why have you never seen ants or bugs going to church?

Because they're insects.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_amazing_Jedi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
This bugs me
πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Red_Scarf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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I heard a large oil company is making fuel out of bug urine...

I think it’s BP.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Did you all hear about the drug bust at the bug spray factory?

Police said it was the greatest Raid ever!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kremitthegorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
They just BUG me
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glorious_bangla
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of web developers DO like bugs?

Spiders!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notsafeforh0me
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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My son came up to me and said that a bug was flying around his room, my wife said that he just imagined it.

I said that is justaflyable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexNoru
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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How do you make the bugs in your yard pay rent?

You fineants

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsalejandreezy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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My wife is teaching my little ones (3/1) about bugs so they wrote β€œAnt” in honey on a piece of paper to attract them and set it out on the deck. She was sad When we went out to check later that day, only one was there.

You should have pluralized it and more would have shown up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vtfb79
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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My wife said the best way to deal with bugs in the kitchen is to just leave them alone.

Personally I think that is just ignore ants.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ezemity
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Pixar Presents 'A Bug's Strife'
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FatBenStiller
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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It’s tough to come up with a new brand of bug spray.

You always have to start from scratch.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the bug activist who was happy he was fired?

He was for Termite Nation.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alphabluewolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love?

They're getting married in the spring!

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/omg123456789
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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Any recommendations on a bug spray?

Send me the DEETs

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/riz_lemon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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It used to bug me that all my clocks only displayed hours and minutes.

Then someone told me about second-hand stores!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/urbanek2525
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
From my son: What’s the scariest bug?

Boo Bees!

I can’t wait to tell his first girlfriend he’s afraid of them.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjmaxal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Bug thoughts

What is the last thing to go through a flies mind when it hits a cars windshield?

It's bum.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbiiggdd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I stayed at a hotel last night and came home with bed bugs!

I mite stay there again.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
"Dad, are bugs good to eat?"

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sajid786farz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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Who says, "Bugs, you stole my hearing aids?! You're despicable!"

Deafy Duck

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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I'm really nervous about this bug-eating contest

I've got butterflies in my stomach.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiljaeden
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Who knew bugs could bee this funny?
πŸ‘︎ 145
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Petey1210
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How do bugs say good morning?

G'day mite

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HatsuneJimbo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me beyond words
πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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I need help with bug puns.

I need insect puns for the the name of a company who makes food out of edible bugs. It's a packaging project for a graphic design class. I think I'm going with trail mix and the three bugs I'm using are a beetle, cicada, and horn worm. If that helps at all. I would be eternally grateful!!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gingerjopop
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the windshield wiper say to the bug?

I bet you don’t have the guts to do that again

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_tiger253
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love?

They're getting married in the spring.

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YetiFromJersey
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A bug hit my windshield today...

I bet he wont have the guts to do that again.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kylie871
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report

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