Man walks into a shop and picks up a can of bug spray
The man asks "is this good for wasps?"
The cashier says "no sir, it kills them"
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︎ Apr 28 2021
You know what really bugs me?
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︎ Apr 28 2021
What does a pastor use when bugs get into his vegetable garden during the benediction?
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︎ Mar 29 2021
I was trying to give away a bunch of those little bugs that make honey.
But nobody wanted my freebies.
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︎ Mar 22 2021
Made a duet with someone who had bugs in their computer
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︎ Feb 13 2021
Now that Iβm officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.
I turn to her and say βI bet he donβt have the guts to do that againβ
Edit: holy shit yβall this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy
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︎ Aug 04 2020
What is The metric systemβs favorite bug?
A centipede. Iβm a dad, can confirm
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Every summer I get bit by one thousand and twenty four bugs.
My wife told me to get over it cause it was just one byte.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Whatβs with all the talk about horny bugs in Washington D.C.?
I keep hearing about the capital insect erection.
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︎ Jan 19 2021
What do you call a bug that can do math
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︎ Dec 08 2020
There as to be a bug in this logic
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︎ Nov 29 2020
What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
A bug hit my windshield on the way to work this morning
I said βI bet you donβt have the guts to do that againβ
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I watched a Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay video and there were lots of bugs in it.
There was a bug where an NPC in the game just phases through a door like thereβs nothing right there.
Guess thatβs what you get when watching a walkthrough gameplay video.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Did you hear about the pregnant bed-bug?
It's having babies in the spring.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Have you heard of the pregnant bed bug??
Sheβs going to have her baby in the spring!
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︎ Oct 11 2020
What do you call a dessert that attracts bugs?
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︎ Nov 23 2020
Whatβs the last thing through a bugs mind when he hits your cars windshield?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
This bugs me
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︎ Apr 27 2020
Just don't bug them anymore
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︎ Sep 11 2020
What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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︎ Oct 15 2020
What did Bugs Bunny say when the doctor asked him how he should be contacted with his test results?
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︎ Oct 25 2020
I've finally given up on finding a name for my window coverings made from bug spray...
I call the search Off! It's curtains for that quest!
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︎ Nov 04 2020
What is it called when a bug ends its own life?
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︎ Oct 15 2020
They just BUG me
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︎ Mar 23 2019
Why have you never seen ants or bugs going to church?
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︎ Sep 30 2020
I heard a large oil company is making fuel out of bug urine...
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︎ Sep 10 2020
What kind of web developers DO like bugs?
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︎ Jul 25 2020
Did you all hear about the drug bust at the bug spray factory?
Police said it was the greatest Raid ever!
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︎ Jul 31 2020
My son came up to me and said that a bug was flying around his room, my wife said that he just imagined it.
I said that is justaflyable.
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Pixar Presents 'A Bug's Strife'
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︎ Feb 25 2020
My wife is teaching my little ones (3/1) about bugs so they wrote βAntβ in honey on a piece of paper to attract them and set it out on the deck. She was sad When we went out to check later that day, only one was there.
You should have pluralized it and more would have shown up!
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︎ Jun 27 2020
My wife said the best way to deal with bugs in the kitchen is to just leave them alone.
Personally I think that is just ignore ants.
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︎ May 31 2020
Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love?
They're getting married in the spring!
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︎ Feb 24 2020
Itβs tough to come up with a new brand of bug spray.
You always have to start from scratch.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Did you hear about the bug activist who was happy he was fired?
He was for Termite Nation.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Any recommendations on a bug spray?
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︎ Jan 31 2020
It used to bug me that all my clocks only displayed hours and minutes.
Then someone told me about second-hand stores!
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︎ Feb 08 2020
Who knew bugs could bee this funny?
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︎ Mar 13 2019
I stayed at a hotel last night and came home with bed bugs!
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︎ Jan 21 2020
I need help with bug puns.
I need insect puns for the the name of a company who makes food out of edible bugs. It's a packaging project for a graphic design class. I think I'm going with trail mix and the three bugs I'm using are a beetle, cicada, and horn worm. If that helps at all. I would be eternally grateful!!
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︎ Feb 24 2017
What did the windshield wiper say to the bug?
I bet you donβt have the guts to do that again
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︎ Mar 19 2020
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