MESSENGER Puns

Arthrites.

"Holding cows together"

My dad works in the office on the floor below me. He's been with the company for almost 18 years and is coming to grips with the instant messenger we have. This little gem popped up today;

Dad; Every time I see a castle I swear.

Me; Huh?

Dad; I must have turrets syndrome.

I close the conversation, and groan.

http://imgur.com/6NGbMAy

My cousin: where's the punchline? XD

Me: Probably by the other drink lines

Her: what xD

Me: (fruit) Punch is a drink. I made a dad joke

Her: oh my lord

Me: yup.

Her: xD

Me: Also, you don't have to call me your lord

Could someone say that we're shooting the messenger?

I couldn't resist

She sends me the following exchange on Facebook Messenger today, while I am elbows deep into a pile of shit @ work.

Her: hey I heard darth vader's wife works in your building Her: Her name is Ella Vader Me: Go, just go.

On facebook messenger

Her: Wow my visa is the smallest it's been in a while!

Me: Really? Those visa cards has been same size for long while.

Her: >:(

I work as a bicycle messenger. I was sitting in our bike shop and a dude I'd met on the greenway came in for something on his bike.

My boss asked me how I met him, and I told him I was trying to get out of this guy's way, but I just decided to keep going fast, and when we stopped a few miles later I told him about our shop.

Boss says, "So, would you say you guys became fast friends?"

Hurrrrrr...

After resetting my step daughters tablet to defaults the Facebook messenger app kept freezing. It would eventually say wait or force close. I hit wait and it loaded. I told her..

"If it's frozen... Let it go."