How do locomotives know where they're going?

Lots of training

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πŸ‘€︎ u/puking_is_gucci
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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You know why locomotive always win with the car?

Because all they do is training

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soviet_Aircraft
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyJelloJiggles
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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What do you call a depressed locomotive?

A trainwreck

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tinycubegamer45
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Did you hear about the Mexican railway killer ?

He had Locomotives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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Train derails in New Mexico, killing 23 people

It must have had a locomotive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterFluffkins
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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Do locomotive engineers ever actually do their job?

Or are they always just training?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justshtmypnts
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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How to locomotives get in shape to haul freight?

They train.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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I discovered a locomotive that never lies...

I call it the true true train

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YouIdiotSandwhich
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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I put the new engineer in charge of driving the locomotive despite without having lessons on how to drive it...

I figured he would do well with on the job training. He went off the rails and wrecked. I don't need to mention about his conduct during the process.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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Your uncle had some really crazy reasons for joining the railroad.

Locomotives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iacon225
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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A psychotic criminal stole a train. He said the reason was the voices in the head told him to.

It was a locomotive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ensiform
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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Why can’t locomotive engineers be electrocuted?

Because they are not conductors

text from my dad who just retired from being a train engineer this morning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rainreset
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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I was telling my friend about locomotives, when i forgot what i was saying

I lost my train of thought

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gibb0605
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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Why are locomotives great at their job?

They had a lot of training.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClebberBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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What do you call a locomotive full of whores?

A train of thot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkillBranch
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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What do you call it when you learn to conduct a locomotive?

Training.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tesseract-Cat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2014
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I built my car out of locomotive parts.

It’s an all-train vehicle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynickname86
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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Where does a locomotive get its news and gossip from?

From its engine ear...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Herr_Opa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2017
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What was Ozzy Osborne’s inspiration for writing the song Crazy Train?

Locomotion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frozeneskimo02
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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My daughter is at a seminar learning to instruct physical conditioning programs to locomotive passengers

It's called train training training training.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-jako
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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What's a toddler's least favorite locomotive?

The potty train

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πŸ‘€︎ u/braxistExtremist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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What is it called when old-timey locomotives work together?

Steamwork

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πŸ‘€︎ u/platyboi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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In order to be a locomotive operator...

you need to train super hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2076baseballbat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2017
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How did the detective figure out who the engineer murdered?

He found his locomotive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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What do you call an apprentice locomotive conductor?

A conductor in training.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reesareesa
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2016
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Why could no one understand the trains reasoning.

It had locomotives

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathdlr34
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Never trust trains

They have locomotives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucash7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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Trains have crazy desires

Because their locomotives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tru_Fakt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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I often lose my train of thought...

Except for when I'm thinking about locomotives, then I lose my thought of trains.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bgulbs3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraetorSolaris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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Why was the locomotive so fit?

He is always training

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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How do locomotives know where they're going?

Lots of training

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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How do locomotives know where they're going?

Lots of training

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
How do locomotives know where to go?

Training

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UYScutiPuffJr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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How do locomotives know where they're going?

Lots of training

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
How do locomotives know where they're going?

Lots of training

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
How do locomotives know where they're going?

Lots of training

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How do locomotives know where to go?

Lots of training

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bomber_Max
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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How do locomotives know where they are going?

Lots of training.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chronicdane
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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How do locomotives know where to go?

They go through lots of training.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2016
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Why was the locomotive so fit?

Because it was always training.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
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How do locomotives hear?

Through their Engineers.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/perezgc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had locomotives

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barelyknowherCFC
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican Train Killer ?

He had locomotives

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had locomotives

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrispyMussels
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had locomotives.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/420_esketit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer

He had locomotives

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πŸ‘€︎ u/b0b_l0b_law
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
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People are saying that my motive is crazy

But I just call it a locomotive

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/casecanredd
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had locomotives.

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/command_613
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
🚨︎ report

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