But Sadly, we drifted apart.
He said, “can’t complain.”
He's a faux-tographer
His dad looked himself up and down and sternly and confidently replied
"I'm wearing a shirt, son."
True story, my soul left my body.
Orchids...
Whatever it was, they made a prophet.
Sewer-side squad
"Stuff"
He said, ”Oh, you know... stuff.“
And he was a very talented guitarist, so good in fact that one day his friend the chicken turned to him and asked would he like to be in a band with him. The horse of course agreed he and the chicken who played the drums went looking for a singer and a bassist. They decided to approach the Sheep who was the best singer on the farm, the Sheep agreed and told them about how the Pig was a pretty good bass player so they all asked him to join the band and he agreed.
So The Barnyard Animals got to work practicing and rehearsing their little hearts out. They started playing open mic nights and gained some traction. After a few years they managed to get signed by a major record label and The Barnyard Animals became an international phenomenon. They toured in every country for the better part of a decade until they finally decided retire. The Horse decided to settle down in English countryside, the Chicken went to Australia, the Pig went to Japan and the Sheep went to New Zealand.
A few years later Gary Barlow contacts the Horse about getting The Barnyard Animals back together for a big charity Live Aid type concert in Wembley. The Horse contacts his band mates and they all agree. So the Pig, the Sheep and the Chicken all fly out to Singapore and get the same connection to London. But in a terrible turn of events the plane crashes and all The Barnyard Animals apart from the horse die in a fiery inferno.
The horse upon finding out that his oldest friends have all died goes into a deep depression. He locks himself in his house and tries to drink his pain away. A few weeks later when every bottle of anything that could be drank had been drunk. He puts on his hat and sunglasses so no one would be able to recognise him and heads to the closest pub. So the Horse walks into a bar and the barman says "Hey, why the long face?"
An USB
I'm not sure, but I've heard the flag is a huge plus.
Well, the flag is a big plus.
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
He's my stepdad.
A lot of people looked up to him
It’s got it’s ups and downs
I do not want to let that sink in.
He's got all these really weird rules you have to follow, like whenever you eat cabbage, he insists you have to eat it with mayonnaise.
It's just Cole's law.
(Thought of this one whilst trying to come up with puns to annoy my husband. He abhors dad jokes, and receiving this look -_- means I did a good job.)
A mid-wife crisis.
He was a repairman, now he repairs men
Turns out being a free lance photographer isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Everyone thinks I'm have a Midwife crisis.
He was a real hermit
I shouted 'Stop!' but if anything that made it worse. (Credit - Gary Delaney)
Police say he was charged with counter fitting
"Who's watching Peace TV?"
Her: "So what does that mean, you just sit around thinking about being all day?"
Me: "No, some days I also think about nothing."
But she still won't admit she framed me.
She sells sea shells on the sea shore.
Count Dracula, from the basement:"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6..."
That can't be good for his back.
At least for the four-seeable future.
It made it look a little more classy.
At lath.
A solar bear
Bonus: what do you call a bear that practices dentistry?
A molar bear
It's called Stuckhome syndrome
Because he was simply outstanding in his field.
Because his name was "Robert"
Idk but the flag is a big plus.
He said he can't complain.
Well, their flag is a big plus
Well, the flag's a big plus!
