Have you heard of Darth Vader's wife, she's always reliable and lifting people up when their down

Good ol' ella Vader

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abaddononon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Why are goulash not good at weight lifting?

Because they aren't stroganoff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/znipershot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I started going to the gym in my tuxedo, everything went well except the weight lifting...

Is not my strong suit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/walkingnottoofast
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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Lifting up the economy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stont753
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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Me: My wife injured herself lifting a brick reservoir above her head three days ago.

Coworker: How is she today?

Me: She's still holding up well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Why does Mike tyson turn into a superhero after lifting weights?

He's thor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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What did the Norse god of thunder say after biting his tongue during an intense weight-lifting session?

Man, I'm thor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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How did the Norse god know when it was time to stop lifting weights?

He was Thor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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We got sent extra bumper plates for weight lifting.
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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There will probably be a surge in weight lifting related injuries since all the gyms have closed.

Everyone will try to pick up where they left off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMatt88
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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What do you call a row of people lifting mozzarella?

A cheesy pick up line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Webthryst
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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Heavy lifting with cranes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knorke3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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My new girlfriend wants me to go to yoga classes with her instead of lifting

It just really isn’t working out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LetThereBeNick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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Lifting spirits!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blazinfastjohny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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Mood lifting
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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Lifting your spirits
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sketchb02
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Did you hear about the new boxer with a disability that prevents him from lifting his arms past his waist?

All his opponents seem to have the upper hand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/riffengo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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What do you call a picture of a weight-lifting woman in a locket?

A strong independent woman.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r_plantae
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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Before I had weights, I used to work out by lifting cases of Coke.

I had to stop, because it was soda pressing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mortambulist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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Smiling like a fool, lifting her veil, looking longingly into my beloved's eyes, I whispered, "A...E...I...O...U...and sometimes Y."

The priest then turned to her.

"And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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Thanks for calling the predatory animal lifting agency. We’ll be with you in a minute...

...Please hold the lion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J_Sphere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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Can you imagine cured meat? Sitting around, brining all day, never lifting a finger.

It's just in salting

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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I wanted my daughter to be good at Lifting.

So I named her Carrie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HardlyNetworking
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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I started lifting with only dictionaries

I wanted to add definition to my muscles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lady_Respecter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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What do u tell someone when u want them to stop while lifting weights?

Weight a second

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CypherSky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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I saw Ice Cube jump onto Dwayne Johnson when he was lifting a 150kg boulder.

One could say he was on the rocks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PanPitza
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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What would you have after lifting weights for 200 years?

A biceptennial.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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Our dog died yesterday. While lifting him up, dad says he's like dead weight

and my sister laughs, and she keeps saying she doesn't know why she laughed, we were all crying before this and after too.

RIP Puddles :(

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xThomas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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Instead of using weights, I've started lifting with cases of Coca-Cola...

It's soda pressing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/webguy1975
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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I had a friend that got arrested for shop lifting

I didn't know he was that strong

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acorn222
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
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A lifting experience

After kissing a girl on her sofa she said β€œLet’s take this upstairs”

β€œOk” I said β€œ You grab one end and I’ll grab the other”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
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I was lying on the floor today, repeatedly lifting a 12-pack of Coke up and down off my chest...

...and all I could think was, "This is soda-pressing."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dcbluestar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
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I heard about the heavy lifting bread

He can lift croutons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mcklauster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
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Dropped one on my lifting partner at the gym

(Me, waiting for our other partner)

Friend: What are you doing?

Me: Weighting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DropLeMic
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
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Got my friend with this a while ago and posted on r/Jokes, but I think it would be better appreciated here. So this friend really likes lifting, so when told me he ran out of protein powder I was surprised and said...

No Whey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IaintGotNoHistory
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2016
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Heavy lifting

So, my grandfather passed away in November and my brothers and I were recalling old stories and this one came up.

He just had surgery on his back and after surgery he had this conversation

Doctor: So, you won't be able to do any heavy lifting for about a week

My grandfather looks at him with a look of concern on his face and says: But doc, how am I supposed to go to the bathroom?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meatsuite4life
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2014
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